Re: You ought to write a book
Re: You ought to write a book
[ Back to Messages
Posted by Tired
on November 22, 2000 at 04:23:57:
In Reply to: You ought to write a book posted by Kathy on November 22, 2000 at 02:10:39:
I apologize for bitting your head off. You seem to understand that a lot of it was in frustration. I have had some women interested in me, but I either didn't know about them or I felt like I could do better (meaning that, they didn't look good). Naturally I've had women who have like me simply because I have better than average looks and I have a nice build. I look better than the average guy (so I've been told). I've never tried to talk to an ugly girl in my life, but I also don't think that the women I have tried to talk to are unobtainable. The woman I love seemed interested in me, too. We were in the same major and in the class in college. At first she'd call me and I'd call her. We'd study together and shared in intimate discussions. Believe it or not she's the only person I've met who thinks in the same manner that I do about life. I suddenly became so excited that I couldn't talk when she called me (this happens with everyone I "talking" to at some point). I didn't have anything to say or I would try so hard to think about something to talk about, I would be awkward. Common sense tell us that if you have nothing to talk about then you must not be compatible. In some cases this is true, but what if a person develops extreme anxiety and they just freeze. I've never been in a relationship before and when I sense that I may finally get what I want I get so excited that I panic. Sometime I'll say or do stupid things and the girl might think that we're not compatible when I know we are. She'll think that the reason why our conversation doesn't flow anymore is because we're not compatible, when it is actually due to my increased levels of anxiety. Women interpret a man's external behaviors and internalize these behaviors into their emotions. That's what creates the "chemistry" you spoke about in a previous post. With this being said, a guy and a girl can be very compatible and capable of achieving real "chemistry", but his external awkwardness does not trigger her emotions the same way a "charming" calm and charismatic man can strike her emotions. This is why some men are capable of being "players". They are ablr to create this reaction in most of the women they talk to. Each woman will believe that there is real "chemistry" between her and the guy, but its all bait. Someone like me may actually be more compatible with the girl, but I don't make her "tingle" because I get so nervous around her.
This is why I get so angry at a lot of the people who respond to my post because they always tell me that my attitude is getting in the way or they can sense my negativity, when it may be that I just lack the charm and charisma to touch the girls emotions. You may think that I express myself well, but I rarely ever express myself the way I want to with any woman I like because I get nervous. There have been occasions that I've said everything just as I wanted to and I have watched a couple of women melt before my eyes. Unfortunatley, I can't express many of my most complicated thoughts and feelings verbally and it is very frustrating to me.
I'm not gonna waste anymore time. I'm really not the negative a-hole that many on this board make me out to be. I apologize for directing anger at you on any of my previous post.