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Posted by Jessica on June 30, 2000 at 09:43:21:

In Reply to: MY NEW BABY WAS DIAGNOSED WITH D.S. posted by LISA C. on June 29, 2000 at 13:22:10:

: I JUST HAD OUR BABY GIRL 6-7-00 AND THEY INFORMED US SHE HAS DOWNS. SHE SEEMS TO BE DOING VERY WELL CONSIDERING SHE WAS BORN AT 29 WKS WEIGHING ONLY 2 1/2#. MY FEAR IS I WON'T BE A GOOD ENOUGHT MOM TO A SPECIAL CHILD SUCH AS SHE IS- I HAVE A 3 1/2 YR OLD BOY AND I AM NOT THE MOST PATIENT. I HAVE ALSO BEEN TOLD THAT HAVING A SPECIAL CHILD IS HARD ON A MARRIAGE IF IT IS NOT STONG. MY MARRIAGE IS AVERAGE I WOULD SAY HOWEVER- IT IS VERY STRESSED OUT RIGHT NOW WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON. WE ARE CONSIDERING ALL THE OPTIONS WITH HER INCLUDING ADOPTION- BUT IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO IMAGINE GIVING OUR LITTLE GIRL AWAY- WHEN WE PLANED FOR HER THE WHOLE TIME. CAN ANY ONE HELP US- I FEEL LIKE ROB WHO POSTED HIS MESSAGE IN SEPT 99 ON POSSABLE ADOPTION. WE JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR WHAT TO EXPECT. HAS ANYONE ELSE GONE THOUGH THIS TOO?

Congratulations on your new baby! Relax, send her all your energy to grow and get healthy so she can come home to you. She will teach you new levels of patience.

I can relate to the added stress on your marriage. Our daughter was hospitalized for 5 weeks after her birth, and it WAS hard. Try to be there for each other, but appreciate the different ways you may handle your feelings. You may need to cry, he may need to keep busy. My husband felt awful that he could do nothing to "fix" the baby. Don't feel inadequate!

If you would like some informational sites, please feel free to e-mail me, and I can send them to you. Get all the information you can before you make a decision. But in the end, you have to make the decision that is right for you and your family, and don't let anyone make you feel less of a person for whatever you decide.

Have faith,
Jessica

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