Posted by Geraldine
on July 09, 2000 at 21:13:45:
In Reply to: Re: MY NEW BABY WAS DIAGNOSED WITH D.S. posted by CINDY G. on June 30, 2000 at 23:54:26:
: : I JUST HAD OUR BABY GIRL 6-7-00 AND THEY INFORMED US SHE HAS DOWNS. SHE SEEMS TO BE DOING VERY WELL CONSIDERING SHE WAS BORN AT 29 WKS WEIGHING ONLY 2 1/2#. MY FEAR IS I WON'T BE A GOOD ENOUGHT MOM TO A SPECIAL CHILD SUCH AS SHE IS- I HAVE A 3 1/2 YR OLD BOY AND I AM NOT THE MOST PATIENT. I HAVE ALSO BEEN TOLD THAT HAVING A SPECIAL CHILD IS HARD ON A MARRIAGE IF IT IS NOT STONG. MY MARRIAGE IS AVERAGE I WOULD SAY HOWEVER- IT IS VERY STRESSED OUT RIGHT NOW WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON. WE ARE CONSIDERING ALL THE OPTIONS WITH HER INCLUDING ADOPTION- BUT IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO IMAGINE GIVING OUR LITTLE GIRL AWAY- WHEN WE PLANED FOR HER THE WHOLE TIME. CAN ANY ONE HELP US- I FEEL LIKE ROB WHO POSTED HIS MESSAGE IN SEPT 99 ON POSSABLE ADOPTION. WE JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR WHAT TO EXPECT. HAS ANYONE ELSE GONE THOUGH THIS TOO?
: DEAR LISA, YES MOST OF US KNOW HOW SCARED YOU MUST BE FEELING RIGHT NOW. BELIEVE ME I WENT THROUGH SO MUCH FEAR HAVING A PRENATAL DIAGNOSIS, I NEEDED TO BE PUT ON ANTI DEPRESSANTS AND PANIC ATTACK MEDICINES; SO BELIEVE ME I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU ARE FEELING. ALSO I AM NOT A PATIENT PERSON EITHER AND NEVER THOUGHT I COULD BE THE MOTHER TO A "SPECIAL" CHILD, IN FACT MY FIRST 2 ARE 5 YEARS APART AND MY DOWN SYNDROME CHILD IS 10 YEARS APART FROM THE LAST, THATS HOW MUCH PATIENCE I THINK I DON'T HAVE! WELL TO MY SURPRISE MY DOWN SYNDROME CHILD IN EVERY WAY HAS BEEN EASIER SO FAR AND HE'S 2 YEARS OLD, THAN MY OTHER TWO WERE, HARDLY ANY CRYING, HAPPY, CONTENT, JUST THE BEST BABY. HE HAS BROUGHT THE "WHOLE" FAMILY CLOSER TOGETHER. HE HAS MADE US ALL BETTER PEOPLE AND SHOWN ME I HAVE STRENGTH I NEVER THOUGHT I HAD IN ME. I RECENTLY MET SOMEONE IN YOUR "EXACT" POSITION THINKING OF ADOPTION AS AN ALTERNATIVE AND MARRIED. SHE WAS TOLD TO MAKE AN "INFORMED" DECISION-MET OTHER FAMILIES, SEE THE CHILDREN, SHE DID AND FINALLY SEEING HOW MUCH THESE CHILDREN WERE SO SIMILIAR TO "TYPICAL" CHILDREN RATHER THAN DIFFERENT SHE DECIDED TO KEEP HER BABIES-TWINS, ONE DS THE OTHER TYPICAL AND PREMIES LIKE YOURS. NOW SHE FEELS SHE DID THE RIGHT THING AND IS HAPPY WITH HER DECISION TO KEEP HER LITTLE GIRL. WE ARE ALL AFRAID OF THE UNKNOWN BUT WE DRAW STRENGTH FROM EACH OTHER. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TALK WITH THIS WOMAN PLEASE LET ME KNOW, I CAN PUT YOU IN TOUCH.
Dear Lisa, you are in the hard part right now. I have seen my daugter going through the same things that you are going through. I have ssen her change, through the 22 years we have had Larry. She has become a better more loving person. Her older daughter is now a teacher with a special Ed. degree. Two children are younger than Larry. One in college also plans on teaching. The youngest in high school is proud of Larry, not ashamed. His birth had no bad effct on their lives, it enriched them. Her marriage became stronger. Her faith deeper in God. YOu must take it day by day. The small gains the child makes will seem so great. walking, talking. These children have pure love and they give. I am his 70 year grandma.