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Posted by JACQUI DECKER on August 15, 2000 at 14:07:46:

In Reply to: MY NEW BABY WAS DIAGNOSED WITH D.S. posted by LISA C. on June 29, 2000 at 13:22:10:

: I JUST HAD OUR BABY GIRL 6-7-00 AND THEY INFORMED US SHE HAS DOWNS. SHE SEEMS TO BE DOING VERY WELL CONSIDERING SHE WAS BORN AT 29 WKS WEIGHING ONLY 2 1/2#. MY FEAR IS I WON'T BE A GOOD ENOUGHT MOM TO A SPECIAL CHILD SUCH AS SHE IS- I HAVE A 3 1/2 YR OLD BOY AND I AM NOT THE MOST PATIENT. I HAVE ALSO BEEN TOLD THAT HAVING A SPECIAL CHILD IS HARD ON A MARRIAGE IF IT IS NOT STONG. MY MARRIAGE IS AVERAGE I WOULD SAY HOWEVER- IT IS VERY STRESSED OUT RIGHT NOW WITH EVERYTHING GOING ON. WE ARE CONSIDERING ALL THE OPTIONS WITH HER INCLUDING ADOPTION- BUT IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO IMAGINE GIVING OUR LITTLE GIRL AWAY- WHEN WE PLANED FOR HER THE WHOLE TIME. CAN ANY ONE HELP US- I FEEL LIKE ROB WHO POSTED HIS MESSAGE IN SEPT 99 ON POSSABLE ADOPTION. WE JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR WHAT TO EXPECT. HAS ANYONE ELSE GONE THOUGH THIS TOO?

I HAVE SON WHO IS NOW 7. IT HAS NOT BEEN AT ALL EASY, EVEN WHEN I HAVE CONCIDERED MYSELF TO BE A VERY PATIENT PERSON. IT DID ADD ALOT OF STRESS TO OUR MARRIAGE.
LAST YEAR WE HAD TO MAKE THE MOST DIFFICULT DICISION OF OUR LIVES. WE CHOSE TO HAVE OUR SWEET SON PUT IN A HOME. SOUNDS TERRIBLE BUT HE IS IN A VERY GOOD PLACE. HE HAS NEVER BEEN HAPPIER. HE HAS EDUCATED PEOPLE TAKING CARE OF HIM. WHAT HAS BEEN GREAT ABOUT THIS HOME IS THAT WE CAN VISIT WHENEVER WE LIKE. I CAN GO TO FEED HIM HIS DINNER AT NIGHTS AND TUCK HIM INTO TO BED. BEING A LOVING MUM OR DAD DOESN'T NEED TO STOP WHEN A CHILD HIS PUT INTO A HOME.
IF YOU HAVE THESE KINDS OF FACILITIES NEAR TO WHERE YOU LIVE MAYBE ITS AN IDEA TO PUT YOUR CHILD ON THE WAITING LIST. IF WORSE COMES TOO WORSE AND YOU REALIZE OVER A PERIOD OF YEARS THAT YOU CAN'T HANDLE THINGS AS MUCH AS YOU WOULD LIKE THEN YOU CAN ALWAYS FALL ONTO THE HELP OF OTHERS.
OUR LIVES AS A FAMILY CAN CONTINUE TO FUNCTION A LITTLE MORE NORMALLY. WE HAD OURSELVES AND OUR OTHER 3 YEAR OLD TO THINK ABOUT. THIS DECISION HAS BEEN GOOD FOR US. DOESN'T MEAN IT IS GOOD FOR ANOTHER.
P.S
ALWAYS REMEMBER ITS OKAY ADMIT THAT THINGS ARE DIFFICULT. YOU DON'T GET ANY PRIZES FOR BEING TOUGH.

JACQUI DECKER
THE NETHERLANDS


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