Posted by Anon.
on July 28, 2000 at 23:09:38:
For the last 6-years, I've had poor body image. It all started when I looked in the mirror one day (6-yrs ago)to see how I looked. Well, unfortantly I didn't like what I saw. I looked fat (In my mind) I was 14-yrs old, 4'11, and 70pds. Well, after a few months later, my weight shot up and I grow. Forgetting the growing part in my mind at the time, I felt that I was getting fat. Didn't take me long to reach 100pds.
Since I was 15, I started to resist food. I hated it so much, it was like my worst enemy. Half of the people in high school that I went to thought I was anorexic. A teacher ended up asking me to come after school (after getting dizzy in her class) to talk to her. When I went to see her, she told me to stand in front of the mirror. I did and she asked me, "What do you see?" I told her, "A fat and ugly person" She then talk to me about anorexia and everything, something I really didn't want to hear. I didn't know what to do.
To this day, I hated food, resisting food, taking diet pills, and exercising till I drop. I hate how I look and still think I am fat. Now the voices that tell me, "You look fat, you need to lose weight" "You aren't going to eat that are you?" "You look pathetic" I don't know how to stop the voices and wish they would go away.
Already, many of my friends has told me I was sending red flags that I have an eating disorder, but feels as though I don't. I haven't lost much weight, I haven't even ended up in the hospital for this. I don't know what is wrong with me, but wish this problem with me would go away.
Everyday, you have to eat. But feel as though I can't forget about this, because it is WAY TOO hard!!
~HELP!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!