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Posted by Ashley on August 05, 2000 at 21:40:26:

Okay... I have gotten to the point where I am scaring my friends and family with my weight. They have all been trying to stuff food in front of my face to make me eat it. I can't!!! I won't!!! I have lost control! I eat a small bowl of cereal in the morning (and feel SO GUILTY all day) then around 4:00 I might have some chicken (out of the can) and brocolli. That is it. I drink a lot of diet sodas and coffee with sweetner. The other day my friend begged me to take a bite of a brownie that she had made... and I took the bite, put it in the side of my mouth, went to the restroom and spit it out. I will chew up cookies and animal crackers and spit them out. Then I freak out to think that what if some of the cookie that got caught in my teeth gets swallowed. I haven't had my PERIOD in two months now (at first I thought I was pregnant, but the test was negative). I don't excersize because I don't have enough energy to do it!!! Or I would. I am weak all the time. I just can't stop this!!! The other day my mom screamed at me for hours after she found a little fat/carb counter booklet in my room. She is scared for me. I am scared for myself, but I still feel so FAT. Please, if you can relate reply!
ashley

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