Posted by trish
on September 14, 2000 at 19:15:21:
Even though I am better than I was 2 years ago, (bulimia) I still feel that food controls me. I always feel guilty when I overeat, or when I feel really full. I feel like I'll gain 10 pounds afte eating something fattening. I sometimes try on clothes in my closet, and some of them don't fit me anymore! They are too tight. That upsets me so much I don't even want to go to work. I feel compelled at times to starve or get rid of the food some way. I usually can fight these urges, but sometimes I give in to them. I love sweets too, but I am afraid to eat them sometimes because I'm afraid I'll eat way too much and then get rid of it. Purging is so painful so I try to avoid eating the sweets. Why does it have to be such a stuggle?!