Posted by Trish
on September 17, 2000 at 18:23:24:
In Reply to: Am I anorexic or what? (This is kind of long, sorry) posted by Kristina on September 16, 2000 at 21:23:19:
: Am I anorexic?
: Starting last Sunday, (it is Saturday now) I just suddenly stopped eating. Just like that. I wouldn't eat breakfast, wouldn't eat lunch, wouldn't eat a snack after school, but I would have to eat dinner so my parents wouldn't get suspicious. I am 13 years old, in 8th grade, i'm 5'6", and 135 pounds. By Thursday, I had already lost 5 pounds. The people who I eat lunch with at school have tried forcing me to eat, but I always refuse. I'm even getting a little scared, and so are they.
: The irony of that is that I'm scared, but I don't want to stop. I want help, but....I want to lose more before I get help. It was almost funny, my friend Molly said to me a few days ago, "Kristina, you are going to be anorexic someday." I almost laughed out loud because I might actually be anorexic.
: I am REALLY afraid of my parents knowing about this. I have been seriously depressed for a year now and I've had a suicide attempt (which I survived obviously, but my parents never knew because I stopped myself halfway through. There is a teacher at my school who I have for English who said to us at the beginning of the year that if we ever have any "issues" we could come talk to her. She mentioned a week or two later for some reason that she "has known a lot of girls who were anorexic".
: I really feel I can trust this teacher, but I'm scared to go talk to her because I know she'll call my parents. The school counsellor hates me (TRUST ME ON THIS!) and I hate him because he is a jerk. My real "fantasy" is to have one of my friends tell my teacher this...and she wouldn't call my parents...AND I would lose weight...but that is impossible.
: I'm sorry this has gone on so long but I've never felt so confused and alone and sad and scared and sick....
: PLEASE WRITE BACK! Thanks so much for listening to me.
It sounds to me like you need to talk to an adult that you can trust. Maybe a school counsellor?
This is no joke, and it isn't funny. Anorexia is a horrible disease that affects your body and your brain.
I had Bulemia for years, and I would also starve myself. Some of my hair fell out, my teeth are damaged,
and I have some liver damage as well. I thought I looked pretty for a while, but whenever I went
anywhere, people would stare at me in horror, because I looked too skinny. People at work asked me if I had cancer. My jaw bones
jutted out, and I was always cold. I also lost my period. It hurt to sit in chairs because my
bones were practically pooping out of my skin. I couldn't sleep either. Please talk to someone
about this. Maybe you just want to lose weight, if that's the case, then just eat healthier, or excercise!
If you want to write back to me feel free. I'm not an expert, but I've been through it. Believe me
being thin isn't everything.