Posted by Kathrin
on October 05, 2000 at 03:54:51:
In Reply to: please read. i want to know. posted by want to be skinnier on September 30, 2000 at 15:46:21:
For both "want to be skinnier" and Gelphin
please let me tell you it is NOT worth it. I have been there. I got really really really skiIiIiInny. But then I realised soem things:
a) I still don't feel skinny enough
b) skinnyness is now ALL I have and all my other dreams / personality features / talents / plans for the future ahve been put in the background
c) I am tired all the time and cold and also depressed so I don't even feel like going anywhere so yes I am skinny but what for I am only sitting around the house without the energy to go anywhere
d) I have messed uo my family and realize how even things that happened in the past sort of got overshadowed by this weird illness
e) I am constantly afraid of getting fat as soon as I eat a tiny bit more than I allow myslef usually, so i cen never enjoy food (which was one reason I wanted to be skinny for: So I could allow myself to eat. What a joke!)
and f) I WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS AGAIN! But I realize I am in too deep by now and it is really really haAaAAaaard to get out again.
I am glad this is past now and I never want to go there again. Oh yes it is anticing, isn't it, we think: Oh all the atrention I will get, and oh I will be so fragile and child-like and just sooOOoo skinny... but in reality, it is all different. Anorexic is not a happy-light-fun kind of skinny, it is a dark, depressed, sorry sad, how-can-I-get-out-again kind of skinny.
Please don't go there.
Now the real thing: Anorexia is usually the solution to a problem. Something must be going on that you don't know how to cope with. Ask yourself what that might be. Maybe you don't know who you are, and are looking for an idenity? Maybe you don't want to grow up, somewhere deep inside? Maybe you are just going through a really hard time? Maybe you need some way to show that you have problmes, that you are not ok? There are other ways to express that.
Anorexia is a coping strategy but REALLY noit a good one.
Plus it is really damaging to your body. Read the book "wasted" by Marya Hornbacher, she talks about that a lot.
God bless you all I hope you think about all this