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Message
Posted by Leanne on August 16, 1999 at 23:34:16:

In Reply to: Will It Ever Stop? posted by Grace on August 14, 1999 at 16:23:59:

Grace,

Your story is very familiar to many of us. I wish I could tell you how to stop right now but I never did figure it out myself. Please, please do something. You are so young and can destroy your body by doing all the things you are doing. Realize that high school is very difficult because you are all trying to figure out what is "normal" and you are all trying to fit in. That can really manipulate you to think that you need to change something about yourself. You are beautiful in so many ways. I can tell just by how you articulate yourself and the activities you interact in. I am sure you are very normal if not on the slim side and you just have a distorted body image. That is why you look in the mirror and see something different all the time. Let me assure you that when you are engaging in so many athletic activities, you are going to gain weight because muscle weighs more then fat. Not to mention that you are still growing at the age of 15. I can remember when I was 14, I was a cheerleader and on the track team. I was so skinny and tall and all of a sudden, I started to gain. I was devastated but in retrospect, I now know it was normal. Please don't go down the same destructive path I did. I am 31 and have been bulimic and/or anorexic for over 12 years. I just now got myself into a support group and told those I love. I have been hospitalized and lost people (including my ex-husband) because I was so obsessed with being thin and it drove me nuts if I ate too much and felt fat. Talk to someone. If you trust a teacher or you can talk to your parents, talk to them. You can even talk to me if you would like. Just write back to this message and I will give you my email address. Take control now before you lose control forever.

Take care,
Leanne


: Hi. My name is Grace. I'm 15 and a half years old (I just got my permit today). From the outside, I look like an average person, I guess. I play soccer and the violin. I have a lot of friends, I'm always on the phone... but I'm bulemic. I've been bulemic since the summer of seventh grade. It's crazy, but whenever I look in the mirror, I see something different than the time before, and a lot of the time, it's bad. I love it when I wake up and see a pretty thin body, but those days come very far in between. On the other days, I exercise compulsively and weigh myself at least five times a day. This last week, I've been really busy with two a days for soccer (two practices a day, both of them two hours and fifteen minutes long), and I've been doing cardio-kickboxing for the past month or so. But when I just got on the scale, it said that I'd GAINED ten pounds in the past week. How? Now when I get off of the internet, I'll be off to the drug store to go get laxatives and the process will begin again. I'll starve myself, begin to eat, eat to much, gain weight, and then feel bad and start all over. Why does life have to be this way? I've told a few of my friends that I'm bulemic, but I also told them that I was going to a counselor. I don't even think that my parents know, even. I feel so alone, yet I know that I'm surrounded by people who care. I guess that's all. Thanks for listening. Love~Gracie


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