Posted by Sonia
on August 22, 1999 at 22:03:38:
In Reply to: Re: From Maria posted by Sharon on July 03, 1999 at 22:03:25:
Hi Maria and Sharon,
I can't believe I've come across this site as I too have been battling this disorder for 6 years now on and off. I have a great life and great friends and i'm very popular and I don't understand why I'm so obsessed with food the whole time. I can't wait to get home and stuff my face and throw it up. I don't do it necessarily to loose weight as I'm an average size and if I loose weight then people will know something is wrong with me so, I only binge and throw up for the comfort thing. Why do we do this? Can I get help that won't cost me a fortune? I'm very confused about this also and hope someone can point me in the right direction on where to get help?
: :Hi Maria. After reading your message:
: : : : Anyone there?
: : : : I want to discuss about bulemia.I'm bulemic for about two years...Need to talk to someone who knows how i feel!
: I felt relieved, as i too need somebody to truly understand. I have only just discovered that I am Bulemic . I don't throw up, but have tried herbal laxatives . I knew conciously that they would not help me lose weight but subconciously i felt they would.
: Binging slowly became a part of my life after succesfully losing 17kg. The trouble was I was unhappy restricting my food intake to keep the weight off , so on a weekly basis I would binge on low fat icecream , lollies, chocolate ,...anything sweet. The more I binged ,the more depressed I felt. I tried getting help through a weight loss program, but this made my problem worse. I lost weight, but quickly regained it, to become my current weight which is the heaviest I have been in 2 years.
: : I am pleased to say I have just found help.I went to an Iridiologist, Nutritionist and a former sufferer of Bulemia. Just talking to her, and using her advice has really helped. I have not binged on sweets for 4 weeks now. This is really tough because I keep thinking about food constantly, even when I'm not hungry. Do you do this too?
: : Keeping a journal helped me a little, in that it helped me look deeply into the emotional causes of the disorder. For me, I feel that having high achievement expectations, and an irrational fear of failure has caused me to turn to food for comfort. Food though comforting me initially, gives me feelings of depression and failure soon after I eat. This feeling of failure stems from the fact that everyone who I associated with saw my initial weight loss as such a huge success.I associate food with weight gain (as I have gained a stone)and hence failure.
: Can you relate to this? As you can tell, my thoughts are jumbled.I would love to hear from anybody who is experiencing these kinds of thoughts and feelings. One thing I am certain on, is that I will not give up learning more so that I can fight this thing. Thanks for listening.