Posted by Patricia
on January 11, 2000 at 14:34:29:
I haven't been able to find help for my problem because people either don't believe me
or don't take me seriously. They think I am lying about it because they don't think I look
fat at all.
I am 5'9" tall and weigh 135lbs. I work out with a personal trainer (my boyfriend,
actually) three times per week and I also run in races when the weather is nicer.
In some ways, I take good care of myself. I do my hair and makeup everyday. I try to
look nice, smell nice, etc...but I also do something really destructive. I binge.
If I buy a box of crackers, chances are good I will eat the whole box in one sitting.
Same thing with chips (so I rarely buy them). I eat loads of pasta, rice, popcorn. I just
have this need to eat until I am stuffed. I hate it! I have never been able to make myself
throw up and wouldn't want to.
I don't look REALLY fat, but I have a bit of a stomach that makes me really
uncomfortable. I have always had body image problems (or at least since I got hips at
13!) and they seem to get worse every time I binge.
Sorry this is so long. I am really looking for input from anyone who knows how I feel or
anyone who has had success in stopping this behaviour.
I have been in counselling and I have been on antidepressants. I have read pretty
much every book on the subject and even though I understand the theories put out, I
can't seem to put the behaviour into practice.
Any advice would be really appreciated. Thanks:)