Posted by Dana
on February 19, 2000 at 22:04:28:
I am new to your board. I have been visiting the depression board since i started counseling a couple months ago and was found to be severely depressed. I am taking medication for that. I am in a bad marriage and am going to go thru a divorce. The only thing my counselor doesnt know is that i am bulimic. I am 36 and have been battling it on and off for 17 years. I have gone sometimes a year, 2 years, 6 months without doing it, but then something seems to happen that gets me to do it again, and once i start it is so hard to stop. I had stopped doing it for about a year before i started in again this past year when my marriage problems and depression it an all time high. I wish i could stop for good. I know i am probably killing myself. I do it once or twice a day, but sometimes not every day-i might skip a day or two but i go right back to it.
I know i should tell my counselor about it, but we have been dealing mostly with the marriage problems and working to get me strong enough to deal with them and a divorce. I have always had a self esteem problem. I must not value my life or something to be doing this to myself. I also have 4 boys aged 2-10. I am thinking that maybe after the divorce gets going and i am away from my husband and happy then i will stop. I hope so. I have been under a lot of stess and have lost 15 lbs in the last couple months, i am not afraid of gaining weight(because people tell me i am too skinny and should gain some, so that wouldn't bother me). Anyway, thanks for listening.