Posted by Martha Kelly
on April 21, 2000 at 19:36:02:
In Reply to: Help-Someone please understand posted by Caz on April 13, 2000 at 05:20:48:
: I've only just summoned up the courage to post my own message. I read all your messages and I connect with you totally. But I can't connect with myself.I've had problems with eating for about 18 months now and it seems like there's no way out.I started off as anorexic and then when I was about to be put in hospital I had to eat a bit.Now I still don't eat much but I'm kind of borderline anorexic/bulimic. I've seen about 13 different people. Psychiatrists,psychotherapists,the lot.I'm also really depressed and I've been hospitalised twice after trying to kill myself.I hate my life but what I don't understand is why I don't want to get better. Why am I so stupid?It's kind of as if I prefer being in the wrecked state I am now. I know that nobody can help me because I don't want to help myself. What can I do? Can anybody help me?Please.It's getting to the point where I'm thinking of killing myself again.And voices in my head which died down have flared up again with this horrible intensity which takes over my mind.Help me please somebody. I can't cope much longer.
Bear with me, I am new at this. Before I write my response, I'm going to give this a trial run to see if my response goes through.