Posted by kathi on May 01, 2000 at 10:22:03:

I just found this site and wanted to share my story. Hopefully it might help someone. I have been bulimic for about 20 years. I came from a very dysfunctional family and was very unhappy as a child. Not much parental involvement and lots of marital discord between my parents and fighting among the kids.As a teenager I discovered drinking and drugs and skipping school. I did whatever I could to escape the pain of my family situation.When I started college I knew I had to straighten up. By that time I was out of the house.I stopped the drugs but shortly after developed bulimia. I thought at the time that I was just using throwing up as a way to loose the weight I had gained. Now I realize that when I stopped numbing my feelings with the drugs that all the crap of my childhood was coming up and I couldn't deal with it.I have gone in and out of bulimia sinse then.I've been very successful in other areas of my life but I really feel that ED are a self esteem issue,a chemical dependancy problem and food is the drug.I'm in a really great ED group now.I also did not want to try antidepressants for years but now I think they are very helpful.They have made me feel much better physically and have helped me get unstuck.Sorry this is so long!