Posted by gav
on December 11, 2000 at 08:14:22:
In Reply to: Re: weird feelings posted by Harley on December 07, 2000 at 13:50:57:
: : I am just writing to ask if anyone has the feeling that they are losing it. Does anyone else feel like they are not the person they are.I feel like I am slowly going mad trying to figure out what feelings and thoughts are from the drugs,what are from the epilepsy and what are from me.Am i alone?Please reply with any thoughts.
: : gav
: Gav, I have done and felt just like you. Maybe not the same meds and combos but I feel like it's a common experience with whom have to take AED's and have seizures. At one point, after trying many different meds, I told my neuro one day that I can't take it anymore. I told him, I beg of you to help me because the only thing that seems better than the drugs is a magnum 44 with a bullet in my head. He asked me to see the psychiatrist that works in combo with his seizure patients, I took some antidepressants for a while but I still could not find an acceptance that I didn't know who I really was(this was a very spiritual challenge for me) and I hated having to take even more drugs. I am still battling with things in my life that occur and are not my choice. I am not religous but I am and have found from my life that I am very spiritual. A christain friend gave me this prayer many years ago and it has alot of truth to it...
: God grant me the serenty to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
: Also, my advice would be that you find someone whom you can talk to about you! whether being a professional or your mother or someone whom you feel the closest to.
: Fear controls alot of people, and not letting yourself accept things can keep you in a unhappy state. Remember acceptance...isn't a preference, it's merely allowing yourself to acknowlege that something you may not prefer still exists within your life. Bless you and I wish you happiness!
Thank you Harley.
What you wrote and spoke about was very true.I have spoken to my parents and my girlfriend about it before.My mum recognises that i am not the man i should be while i take medications.However i suppose that i have to accept that i may be like this for the rest of my life and it is no good worrying about trying to be a person that i cant be anymore.If the medications control the epilepsy then maybe i should accept the fact that there will be side effects and as a result i will change slightly.Thank you for your help and i feel like i am not alone in the situation.