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| | Herpes has ruined my life!
Herpes has ruined my life!
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Posted by Marilyn
on December 25, 1999 at 15:32:02:
I am a 35 yr SWF, no children, never been married and now wondering if I ever will. It's been 6 1/2 years since I became infected with herpes and I still have not made peace with this disease. It has destroyed my already lacking self-esteem. I've had depression, panic attacks, withdrawal, anxiety. I was SUICIDAL for a while when I first found out. I was only seeing one guy so I knew where it came from and he denied it. Then I turned to God and got better. That lasted for a while then I began to crumble again. I know that the disease is just a disease, it is not who I am. I know that millions of people suffer from it. I know all this so why does it trouble me so? It has sent me in search of deeper spiritual meaning and connection, etc. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I feel like a leper. Who's going to accept me like this? Help!!! When will this get easier for me? I dread telling a new boyfriend about this. I've only told two in 6 1/2 years. I'm sometimes reluctant to get close to a man because I think he'll probably run like hell when he finds out. If he runs, he wasn't the right one anyway, you say. But I have to be honest and recall my horror when I found out myself. I'll stop babbling now. Someone please, say something.
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