Re: i died when i found out!!!!
Re: i died when i found out!!!!
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Posted by Amayaa
on July 17, 2000 at 20:00:06:
In Reply to: Re: i died when i found out!!!! posted by cj on June 30, 2000 at 19:48:47:
I just wanted to let you know that I've been exactly where you are before. However, I haven't been there quite as long as you have. When I found out I had herpes I was the most devistated I've ever been in my life..I actually wanted to kill myself. It felt like the worse thing that the doctor could've said. But then I realized that it was FAR FAR FAR FAR from the worse thing the doctor could've said. I know this is gonna sound crazy but it was really a blessing in disguise. God blesses us in the strangest ways sometimes...but it's always to make us stronger so that we can do the things that He put us here to do. Everything has a divine purpose..even this. Herpes is just something that happened to your body...your body! Your body is not YOU!! Your body is just a temporary thing...it's mortal. Your spirit however is eternal...and your spirit is ALWAYS healthy. There is actually no such thing as illness, if we look at the TRUTH in ourselves. The TRUTH says that we are perfect children of God....PERFECT. We aren't capable of being sick. You have to start telling yourself that. I promise you...it changed my life. I no longer believe in illness. I believe that all illnesses are a state of mind and they only control our lives if we let them. The minute I stopped telling myself that I have herpes, was the minute I stopped having outbreaks all together. I don't even have outbreaks anymore!
I'm not saying that I've been cured, but I do feel like I've been healed (in the spiritual sense). Contracting herpes helped me to see that I wasn't respecting my body the way God intended for me to, and it made me see that I'm not invinsible.
As far as being ashamed is concerned, there's really nothing to be ashamed of. 1 in 4 people have this disease, so it is possible that you caught it from someone other than that girl. There have even been reports of people infected with herpes who ever never been sexually active. So I don't think you wanna spend anymore time telling yourself how horrible the girl is who gave you herpes. When it comes down to it, it's YOUR life and you're the only one responsible for it. Maybe you need to start thinking about how to make sure that the same thing doesn't happen again. And being afraid to LIVE is not a healthy solution. God put you here for a reason, and obviously you still have somethings to accomplish or you wouldn't still be here. Do what you need to do to please God. That's all that matters, anyway!
Life is supposed to be good....God isn't a punishing God. He loves you just as much now as He did before herpes. He knows that you're the exact same wonderful soul that He created 30 some years ago. He just wants you to realize that.
Think about this...if I had a $50 bill and I crumbled it up, stepped on it, poured water on it, and then left it on the ground, would you still want it? Of course you would! Because it's still worth $50!!! No matter what has happened to it's outter appearance, it still holds the same value!
*Think about that....
Best of luck to you and you will be in my prayers.
PS...visit eprayer.com if you'd like to have others pray for you...it's free and anonymous!