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Re: Social Anxiety

Re: Social Anxiety

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Posted by Matty on August 26, 2000 at 03:39:34:

In Reply to: Re: Social Anxiety posted by Amy Fairfield on August 24, 2000 at 17:56:31:

Chris, I know what you are talking about. Although I work in a different environment I still feel the same way. This disease is holding me back in every walk of life (work, friendships, social activities, sexual relationships)I too know I am highly capable and intelligent, but because of my nervous disposition and subsequent inability to concentrate I come across as aloof, foolish and clumsy. I am a laughing stock at work (I work in the building trade and find that there is a lot of mickey taking between 'the lads' I just cannot handle it). I find that when somebody says something to me I cannot think of a witty comeback (until maybe when I am relaxed a little more at home) I just go bright red, sweat and try to cover my extreme distress with a stupid smile and If I do try and retort I often stammer and find the words come out all wrong, both of these responses just seem to reinforce peoples beliefs that I am simple or an idiot. I have few real friends but they too see me as a bit of a loose cannon and if I do try and go out with them I feel so uncomfortable. I would not even dare contemplate trying to chat a girl up even though I desperately would love a girlfriend. I know that I am quite good looking, intelligent and funny but I don't 'feel' it. It is true you can't say 'don't pick on me I have social phobia' - people would have a field day laughing! Although their are plenty of caring people out there, most don't give a toss. People love confidence, how confident a person you are is how popular you are. I basically feel that I have f*@?ed my chance at a decent life. I was happy to try meds and cognitive behavioural therapy but they do precious little, although they may take the edge off my problem a little. If I were you I would see a GP or shrink - you never know, it could be a chemical problem or a learned behaviour that can be overcome - and maybe some of the subsequent agorophobia, depression, panic attacks and anxiety (that I know that I suffer with) could also be dealt with. I was glad to hear Amy had success with paxil, I didn't - or with prozac, citalopram, buspar, moclobemide, clomipramine, nardil, anetenol or pindolol. The chances are a true life long social phobia is inherited genetically and their is precious little you can do about it apart from live with it. I don't wish to sound too negative, but at least you know you're not alone.

: : I just wanted to add something else. I also
: : think that it is hurting my career. I think
: : that I am not getting ahead because of it even
: : though I know that I am intelligent and competent. It is hurting my chances for new
: : opportunities. I am just not myself sometimes
: : and I feel that I come off looking stupid,
: : weak and incompetent. I feel that all of this
: : stemmed from my past. I have had a lot of negative relationships throughout my life and
: : this could be the result. I don't know how
: : to change it. I am against going on medication
: : because of the side affects. I am currently not going to a counselor. Does anyone know of
: : any support groups.

: :
: : : I have a problem. I think that I suffer from a
: : : social anxiety disorder. To make matters worse, I
: : : work in a large office atmosphere.(which doesn't help)
: : : There are always many people around and it makes me
: : : nervous. My boss even told me in a roundabout way
: : : that my social skills are lacking. I know this. How
: : : do I explain to him how I feel. I feel if I tell
: : : him what's really going on he will think that I am crazy. Many people begin stereotyping you once you admit to having this type of problem. There is such
: : : a stigma attached. Many people in that place already treat me like I'm some kind of freak. Does
: : : anyone else have this problem?
: : :

:
: Chris, I had similar problems and went on Paxil (I'm not changing to Serzone because I gained too much weight on Paxil). I also had acute anxiety and panic attacks. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I felt awful in the office environment and when we were in large meetings all I would think about is how in the world I could get out of the room without making a scene. I often felt I was on the verge of fainting. Well, the Paxil helped immensely. An example: I'm starting a new job and I had to go to the annual "state of the union" company meeting. I was among the first to arrive and sat in the back of the room. The room filled beyond capacity and I was sitting crowded in the back and would have had to make quite a few people move or stand befoer I could get out. Pre-Paxil I would have been sweating with anxiety and probably would have spent the entire TWO hours simply talking myself out of panicking. Well, on Paxil, I was still slightly uncomfortable but didn't feel the acute panic. I also had to introduce myself and did so slowly and deliberately without speaking fast and turning bright red. Think about meds. I was TOTALLY against it and WANT to be off them but maybe you need to just try it. Hope it helps




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