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really lost

really lost

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Posted by Jack on September 30, 2000 at 00:09:45:

My girlfriend and I are becoming rather close, and although I don't really know that it's connected, it seems that all of sudden I'm thinking all the time about what bothers me about our relationship, unlike before when thinking about her made me much happier. I've been suffering from pretty severe depression for a few years now, and for a while she really made me feel better, but now I'm constantly plagued by what I perceive as our problems. (It's difficult to tell whether we agree on what's wrong- she's not always very precise about what she's feeling or what's on her mind.) It's still wonderful to be with her, but I don't feel comforted by her anymore.
I don't know whether it's a good idea to get too far into specifics, especially considering how long this message is so far; but what I really feel I'm lost about are the individual problems. What generally bothers me the most are her views on open or closed relationships- she doesn't seem to see a relationship as eventually progressing to being closed- she still sees at least two other people. I know that in a lot of ways I'm the most important person in her life, but it still bothers me so much. I've tried to explain to her, but she wants to be able to continue as she is right now, and I really want to be able to accept it, but I can't. I don't even know where to begin.


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