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Anybody else having "fantasies" like that?

Anybody else having "fantasies" like that?

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Posted by Kathrin on October 14, 2000 at 01:52:21:

I have been wondering if anybody else experiences that.
Fantasies in which i become the center of the story. I might be listening to a song and I can identify with the words. It makes me feel really high to think that maybe other people get the clue too (especially when i was younger, my parents) and feel with me and think "Oh how deeply she must feel..."
There was a time when I had the plan to go to the US for the first time (that was 95), and I remember one time I put on music in my room that i thought was "really American" and sat on a chair that i had put on top of my table and wanted my parents to see me like that.
Or another time (92) I was so obsessed about a concert I was going to, I was looking forward to it for a half year, and i would always look for songs that are about special events, feeling so special about going to that concert.
Or when I came back from San Francisco where the streets are steep (I study there now! :) , I would play the guitar (I perform my songs in the street soemtimes) on a hill and think that everybody must associate the hill with San francisco and further cionclude that i must be really missing it, and the feeling would get me all excited...

does anybody else have fantasies like that? or would you call that fantasies at all? I have even had the fantasy of being a "crazy person" (I don't want to go into details :) )and walked around late at nigtht with my walkman on feeling so high on the feeling that I might be getting other people's attention and feel like "somebody"....

Please I ave been wondering about a long time... yes I am seeing a therapist on campus but he mostly lets me talk... I would appreciate some feedback. What does this mean???
And the fantasies change... and usually they don't last very long, and then i MISS them and feel empty without them, until something new comes... (well some last sort of, but I stop obsessing so much, usually. I take it so far that it becomes ridiculous...)

Kathrin


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