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Re: "Losing it" sometimes... why am I so impatient?

Re: "Losing it" sometimes... why am I so impatient?

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Posted by TAMI on November 09, 2000 at 19:07:42:

In Reply to: "Losing it" sometimes... why am I so impatient? posted by Kathrin on November 01, 2000 at 02:11:21:

: Hello... I have a problem and I would like to know if anyone can relate or can give any advice or insight.

: It may be because i tend to take up too much and get stressed out and that's all it is, but I am SOO unable to control my emotions sometimes... one time some weeks ago I was already stressed out and then somebody asked me anopther favor and I just started yelling in the stret, and then letting out a loud shriek.
: When I am under stress or in a hurry, i get into such a state of... like I am under current. Like something inside me can't go fast enough. In such a state, if I have to wait in line, it is terrible. Two days ago it happened. I had a lot of things to do and it was gtting late and thre was a long line. I just said "I am in such a hurry" to somebody hoping they would let me go first. I said "where's the shortest lne" and went there and then just stood there literally shaking not knowing how to control myself, tears running down my face.
: Today I was in a metro train and there was a delay, so we went very slowly, and stood still in the tunnel. Again I had something to do that I wanted to get behind me (checking on somebody I was worried about) and then i had to go home and then leave again, so rush rush again, and the train stopped... I just thought, what if i go crazy in here? What would they do? Would they restrain me, like that guy on the airplane (don't worry i can not imagine I would EVER do anything violent)... everthing was just boiling in me and I didn't know how to let it all out. What I did is I banged my head against the wall, it hurt! I sort of WANTED to people to se me do that.

: Am I just strssed out? Why can't I control myself? I feel guilty a lot too. See, this isn't rally like me. I try to be gentle. My mission is love everybody, spread love! I help a lot of people, like homeless people. Sometimes it gets too much. From time to time I get hit by the opposite, I feel so paralyzed i can hardly moved, I get really lethargic and depressed and jsut drag along.

: I want to be more patient... what is that state I get in, that all stressed out state, where I am like under current and i get mad at anybody who walks slowly in front of me...
: Oh I am 25 female, believe it or not a psychology studnt, and when I am not like that as I said I am very nice to people and try to understand everybody.

: Is it just because I tend to take up too much and get overwhelmed? Or do I have a problem with my emotions, like maybe bipolar ar something like that?
: Sometimes I feel really great too, when i can use the energy in a positive way, but then I feel it is mostly just playing games, like I get high on thinking I might be a little "crazy" and act out and want people to see me.

: Any insight appreciated. I do see a therapist on campus, but he mostly just lets me talk and talk...
: oh yes and once the health center guys sent me to a psych doc, also on campus, and actually had me evaluated for bipoalr and also OCD I think, but he said yes a little but of highs, lows, obsessions, but nothing too extreme... something like that.

: Kathrin

You may very well be hypomanic when you are unable to handle frustration. I am bi-polar and can't take any of the mood stabilizing meds due to intolerance of them. What I have had to figure out is how much "helping others" and running around can be tolerated before I become hyper and get to the point you describe. It's always best to try changing behavior before resorting to these major meds.My daughter is also bi-polar and she has been going thru a hypomania lately. I told her 6 weeks ago to get back to the"nut doctor" (our mutual joking name for psychiatrist) and get some meds for sleep before she totally wigged out. Now she is totally wigging out and can't figure out why. She's 34 and still doesn't listen to me. Oh well, one of these days.Since you aren't having major manic symptoms you may be able to use behavioral modification to manage your hypomania and mild depression.



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