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Posted by Brit on December 13, 2000 at 23:40:26:
In Reply to: Narcissism support group posted by Aluna Joy on December 06, 2000 at 20:34:34:
I, too, have just discovered that the man I've been married to for 5 years fits the description exactly of a serious narcissistic personality disorder. I know exactly what you're going through.
After doing a lot of research on the internet on narcissism, I have discovered two of the main types of narcissists are 'primary' and 'inverted'. If you are married to a narcissist, you are most likely an 'inverted' narcissist (co-dependent is another name for it). You and your spose probably suffered similar emotional neglect in your childhood (narcissistic parents) - he/she survived by acquiring primary narcissistic behavior, you probably survived by withdrawing and molding yourself to your parent's demands (inverted narcissistic behavior). In your adult life, you're continuing the same story. (This is what the researchers say, anyways!)
The only support groups I know of so far, are for co-dependents. (Co-dependents are usually the type of people who marry narcissists.) There is a national organization for co-dependents, and they do have a web site which will give you a list of co-dependent support groups in your part of the country, when they meet, etc.
Unfortunately, handling the problems of continuing a relationship with a narcissist does not look very hopeful. A good book you might want to check out is 'Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited', by Dr. Sam Vaknin.
E-mail me, and maybe we can share notes and help each other out.
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