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Re: Single Mother---I need advice.

Re: Single Mother---I need advice.

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Posted by :0) on July 14, 2000 at 16:24:30:

In Reply to: Single Mother---I need advice. posted by Kristen on July 14, 2000 at 12:16:46:

Well, not much can be done untill the baby is born and he accepts paternaty in a court. I went through this a little over a year ago with my daughters father.
I found out i was pregnant over a month after we had stoped talking, i told him, he wanted me to have an abortion. I refused of course and we didn't really talk much from then on. When she was born i of course told him, and we discused child support, he said he was willing, but it's always better ot have things done properly in a court. Of course as soon as i took him to court he wanted dna tests done. We had those done, so once those were done getting child support was a breeze. He's come around a bit, but aside from court ordered payments i rarely hear from him and i don't get anything from him for her, but he does respond to me now, and he gets pictures of her.
I have 2 kids, which i am raising pretty much alone, i do have finiacial help from family, but the hard stuff i'm doing alone.
There are a few important things you need to remember, take him to court for custody, and child support, even if you can work those things out alone it should all be done the proper way so that if things ever go bad you won't have troubles. Court is a long drawn out process, but it simplifies things in the long run.
And you say you have supportive friends and family, so there is no reason you cannot raise this baby alone if need be.
You basicly have all of the rights as far as the baby is concerned, especially if you get sole custody in court. The baby's rights are to have 2 loving parents....not always possible, but remember how he acted towards you in your relationship has nothing to do with his relationship with the child, you need to step back and let him be around. unless of course he's got problems (drinkging, drugs, violence).
i have no idea if i answered anything you asked, but feel free to ask me...i've been through a lot of what your going through now and will go trhough..so feel free to ask anything, i'll do my best to answer.


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