Re: bi wife---ouch!



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Re: bi wife---ouch!

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Posted by Buster on December 17, 2000 at 21:21:17:
In Reply to: Re: bi wife posted by FD on December 16, 2000 at 23:55:23:

: : I knew my wife was bi before we got married. I loved her and she promised to refrain from her same sex cravings. Lately however my wife has been spending a lot of time with our next door neighbor(she is single). This woman next door never seems to date and I am worried that the two of them could be getting it on while I'm at work.
: Let me get this straight. You knew she was bi before you got married. You made her give that up because you loved her, but you couldn't handle it and you wanted to get married anyway. Who is the wrong do-er here? You KNEW she was bi when you fell in love with her, but you asked her to repress those feelings just to be with you. When you repress something, eventually it comes back out. Be it with your neighbor or not is a separate issue.
: She may or may not be having a relationship with your nextdoor neighbor, but really, that's irrelevant. The bigger issue is communication and trust between the two of you, and her sexual repression. That's a lot to give up for another person (can you say resentment on her part?! holy cow!) You two really need to get to counseling to work out this issue. Otherwise your doubt and mistrust will eventually cripple your relationship. And her need (or lack thereof) to be in relationships with women (which she may not even be having) needs to be talked about out in the open with you and a non-judgemental third party.
: I apologize for sounding harsh. But you two absolutely need open up some communication lines...it will help in the long run.
I didn't make my wife give anything up or repress anything. She persuaded me it was not a problem for our marriage. And I never said anything about not being able to handle it. I don't appreciate that kind of reply.

Follow Ups

Re: bi wife---ouch! President Kennedy 14:29:13 12/18/00 (2)

Re: bi wife---ouch! FD 19:13:00 12/18/00 (1)

Re: bi wife---ouch! President Kennedy 01:08:48 12/19/00 (0)

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: : : : I knew my wife was bi before we got married. I loved her and she promised to refrain from her same sex cravings. Lately however my wife has been spending a lot of time with our next door neighbor(she is single). This woman next door never seems to date and I am worried that the two of them could be getting it on while I'm at work. : : Let me get this straight. You knew she was bi before you got married. You made her give that up because you loved her, but you couldn't handle it and you wanted to get married anyway. Who is the wrong do-er here? You KNEW she was bi when you fell in love with her, but you asked her to repress those feelings just to be with you. When you repress something, eventually it comes back out. Be it with your neighbor or not is a separate issue. : : She may or may not be having a relationship with your nextdoor neighbor, but really, that's irrelevant. The bigger issue is communication and trust between the two of you, and her sexual repression. That's a lot to give up for another person (can you say resentment on her part?! holy cow!) You two really need to get to counseling to work out this issue. Otherwise your doubt and mistrust will eventually cripple your relationship. And her need (or lack thereof) to be in relationships with women (which she may not even be having) needs to be talked about out in the open with you and a non-judgemental third party. : : I apologize for sounding harsh. But you two absolutely need open up some communication lines...it will help in the long run. : I didn't make my wife give anything up or repress anything. She persuaded me it was not a problem for our marriage. And I never said anything about not being able to handle it. I don't appreciate that kind of reply.
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