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Posted by
President Kennedy on December 18, 2000 at 14:29:13:
In Reply to: Re: bi wife---ouch! posted by Buster on December 17, 2000 at 21:21:17:
: I didn't make my wife give anything up or repress anything. She persuaded me it was not a problem for our marriage. And I never said anything about not being able to handle it. I don't appreciate that kind of reply.
Well my friend, I'm sorry if you don't like some of the things you hear. That's life, and if you can't get over it, then you have no business posting to a public forum. I think his advice was very sound considering what information he had to go on. He was simply assuming that you asked her to repress these feelings. Now whether or not you asked her to repress her bi feelings or she chose to repress them herself for the sake of your relationship, she is obviously having some sort of trouble dealing with these feelings. Sure, she said it wouldn't be a problem, but feelings like that can't just be shoved into a closet and forgotten. You must have had some sort of idea that it would come up again in the future when you chose to marry her.
Regardless, you really DO need to keep the lines of communication open. That is the most important thing. Pointing fingers and getting ideas in your head about what may or may not be happening will only make it worse. Talk with her about this and be honest with each other about your feelings. Oh and btw, be prepared for answers you may not want to hear from her. Just like on this board. Because that's life.
