Posted by Lorie in Canada on August 25, 2000 at 00:45:56:
HELP! Like Gilda Radner as "Rosanne, Rosanna, Danna" would say, "If it's not one thing, it's another!" I am 41, female, an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) yes the sensitivity gene is inherited not learned as Dr. Elaine Aron points out in her book. I suffer from depression & anxiety . Have been on antidepressants since my Mom died in 1988. I took no medication before or during my pregnancy in 1995 and felt like a wreck until anxiety & depression overtook me and the joy I wanted to experience as a new mother, eluded me. I felt like all of my nerve endings were hanging out. Prozak, Paxil, Zoloft, EffexorXR, Wellbutrin as well as Buspar(I might as well have just eaten a candy - Buspar did nothing to help my anxiety) and Lorazepam. Presently I am back to Prozak teamed with Clomipramine. I do like the antihistamine properties of the clomipramine, it has almost completely eliminated the brainbusting headaches I have suffered from for years as a result of the stress I experience in everyday life. I have been a single parent for three years, my child just turned 5 yrs. old. I am easily 25 to 30 lbs. heavier than I have ever been. I wasn't even this heavy when I was 9 months pregnant! I feel like I'm puffed up, inflated; like if someone stuck a pin in me I'd burst and all the air would come out. I have always been extremely self conscious about my body (even at 110lbs) but now I feel like "Orca" and I don't want to be seen by the world because I am so disgusted with myself. I don't eat pizza, fast foods or takeout food. I don't eat anything that is deep fried and I don't eat dairy products because I cannot digest them. They make my guts hurt alot & then I have to throw up(not bulimia or anorexia). A very good friend of mine thinks I have an unusually small appetite. My body does however seem to need(almost demand)sugar, chocolate & coffee. I never even liked coffee until I was in my 30's. I exercise approx. 3x a week (I hate it). I feel like I have no energy in spite of exercising. Yes, the medication helps me function & cope better but my weight is making me retreat from the world more. My young child innocently said of my upper arms "big & chubby" How can I stop this madness???? To top it off my breasts are full of milk and my kid is 5. I wonder if it's drug induced? Two Gynecologists told me it was no big deal but it's a big deal to me when my milk sprays out to about 2 feet!
