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Re: Anxiety, Depression and Social Phobia

Re: Anxiety, Depression and Social Phobia

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Message

Posted by Kathrin on September 12, 2000 at 02:37:22:

In Reply to: Anxiety, Depression and Social Phobia posted by SID on September 12, 2000 at 01:43:51:

SID
I just read your post. It makes me sad to hear you are going through such a hard time. Please
please believe me when I say this: It WILL get better again. Right now your lady left you and
that on top of all the pain you were already feeling. It is natural that you are feeling worse.
Please don't hurt yourself. If oyu are feeling suicidal, please call a crisis / suicide prevention
line or even 911. Recognize the hopelessness and the wish to get it done with as symptoms
of depression, as a sign that you just don't know how to cope anymore. What you really need
is find out how you can cope again.

I have gone through phases of SEVERE anxiety / obsessive compulsive disorder, where I felt
sick to my stomach from fear and couldn't concentrate on anything because the fear, the worry,
was always on my mind. I would wake up with scary thoughts and be scared all day long. I
would see other people walk in the street and just envy them because they were really alive, I
thought, and me... I was all alone with all those FEARS... so tired of it.
I had a time also when I was really depressed and wondered where all my deep feelings had
gone - feeling only numbness anymnore, emptiness. Wondering: Will I ever, EVER be happy
again? Ever feel free again? It went on and on and on, and the longer I got used to a life of fear
and compulsion, the more convinced I became that it was not going to get better... BUT I
SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER.
A year later I went across the Atlantic for the first time, all enthousiastic about this new dream,
this new purpose... I would walk the dog at night and run down the street with him feeling so
light and happy and free, feeling FINALLY FINE AGAIN.
We don't know what life will bring. We don't know where we will be a year from now. I had been
a MESS (yes it's a good word you are using) for so long, but... it got better again. It had been
so long and such a dark time I didn't really believe it was even POSSIBLE that it would get
better again, ever - but it did.
I want you to belive that. I want you to have hope. You say you are a nice guy, trying to make
others happy when you cna't yourself happy. We folks who are so prone to depression and
other dark states of the mind, yes we are the sensitive ones, the ones who can relate, who
feel with others, we are the ones who care. From what you write I can feel that you are this
same kind of person. Taking care of others' needs. Feeling with them. Trying to put up a happy
front for them, maybe...I feel we have very much in common... I have been there.... I have no
right to say I felt as bad as you are feeling now, because I jsut can't know this... but I know
what it feels like to be SOO afraid and not be able to get RID of those scary thoughts that are
racing inside the brain... not be able to concentrate on much else... and afraid they will never
EVER go away again... but they will.

Please consider this. Please do not give up hope. Please believe me, it will get better, no matter
for how long it has been bad.

Choose life... please. The world needs people just like you.
Kathrin
kk_kitkat@hotmail.com



Follow Ups

  • p.s. Kathrin 02:40:34 9/12/00 (0)



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