Re: wives of stroke patients
Re: wives of stroke patients
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Posted by Sandy
on October 07, 2000 at 21:59:39:
In Reply to: Re: wives of stroke patients posted by Stephanie on October 04, 2000 at 10:47:01:
: : : : : : would like to talk with women whose husbands have had strokes. what is the recovery like for you? has your husband recovered but changed at the same time.please email or leave message.
: : : : : My husband had a stroke almost 3 years ago. I devoted lots of time to his recovery for the first 6 months and actually still give him lots of time and effort. Dave's stroke was very major and affected him with language problems. It is very hard on him and then of course it is for me too, mostly because of his frustration. He has recovered SO very much compared to the damage in the beginning, but we realize there will be permanent damage. His personality is almost unchanged from what it was before the stroke and I feel very blessed for that. Is that where you are having a difficult time? I think a stroke is about the most devastating injury, but then I haven't had to deal with others.....
: : : : : What is your biggest concern? I will be glad to talk with you at my e:mail address if you want.
: : : : : -sandy
: : : : Sandy,
: : : : Thanks so much for responding. I really have no one to talk to on this subject that would understand.My husband had his stroke two years agoe.They said he would recover fully. Physically he may have, there is no obvious damage there. But his mind is another thing. Sometimes his thinking is totally backwards. He was very intelligent before his stroke, now he gets confused easilly.I think he tries to conpensate for this by trying to do more around the house. Every time I turn around I bump into him. He is still very kind and caring person. But after the Storke I think I grieved for several months because I missed the old person he use to be. My husband is 53 years old, I am 49 and we have been together for 10 years. Guess I got use to him being the care taker, then things were turned around. You are right, Strokes are the worst thing that can happen, brain damage is very strange and so is the rebuilding. would like to talk again sometime. frances
: : :
: : : Frances,
: : : Did your husband have any therapy? Did they diagnose him with Aphasia? sounds like it with the "backwards thing." Dave speaks in opposites alot (although not as much as he did in the beginning) I know exactly how you feel about the care-giver.... Dave cannot work again -- he can't understand direction and his stamina wouldn't be good. I know it is extremely hard on the men that they cannot be the person who protects us, but we are ALLOWED to hurt too. Dave and I had been married 25 years--he was 49 years old and I was 44 when it happened. I don't like the role reversal, but I appreciate that I still have my husband (Dave could have so very easily died from his stroke -- he had surgery during evolution of the stroke. Had the surgery not happened, I don't think he would be with me.)
: : : Maybe you could write me at my e:mail address, so we can talk more and help each other. Sounds like our situations are pretty similiar. -sandy Sandybrackett@aol.com
: : My husband had a stroke on July l and is paralyzed on the left side. I will be bringing him home in 6 weeks. I will have help but it is still scary. What advice can you give me. LM
: My grandfather has been diagnosed as suffering from mutiple "light" strokes to his frontal brain lobe . He is physically fine however he has had a terrific change in his pesonality. He has a hard time following conversation and has shown signs of being very angry about things he used to and still claims to enjoy and love. However he can switch very quickly to verbally berating the person or thing he used to or still appreciates. This has become very frightening for his wife, children and grandchildren. He has become verbally abusive to his wife but in lucid moments seems to not remember this. He has days when he is very confused about events and timespan issues. The doctor told him he is ok to drive but he has gotten lost and shown poor judgement when riding with others. We are told this is nothing to be concerned about but it is taking a very high emotional toll on his wife and we are concerned that it may progress from verbal to physical or that his confusion may result in him hurting himself or someone else.
: Please let me know if you have any information concerning stroke and personality change/memory loss. We are continually told this is not a problem but are concerned about potential problems. Any suggestions or information is appreciated.
Try the American Heart Association or the American Stroke Association. Either of these, but probably the Stroke Assoc. should be able to direct you or advise you of where you could find help. Fortunately, my husband didn't have the personality difference or abuse problem. He did use inappropriate language in the beginning, but I understand that is very common. He no longer does that. It is so very frustating for the stroke survivor and the family around them. Keep searching for help.