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Re: any advice will be appreciated

Re: any advice will be appreciated

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Posted by larry coldiron on October 21, 2000 at 19:19:23:

In Reply to: any advice will be appreciated posted by Tracy Dau on October 21, 2000 at 18:04:37:

: On Sept. 27, 2000 my father in law had a massive stroke. He was airlifted to Austin TX where we were there was basicly no hope for rehabilitation. By the grace of God we have had him transported to the city in which three of his children live. For 31/2 weeks he has been in the hospital and we have finally as of yesterday made the move to a rehab center. Our problem is the rehab will only give us 10 days for him to respond. He shows great progress (by our standards) but when a medical person walks into the room he closes his eyes and refuses to respond. With the family he has spoken long strings of sentences which we are only able to interpret the first couple of words. His right arm is very strong and he has demonstrated both movement in his right arm and leg. Our big challenge is we know he is capable of doing so much more than he is demonstrating to the rehab personnel, and the 10 days makes time of the essence. We have been with him for 24 hours a day since the stroke occurred. Are we overstimulating him? We have also tried to accomodate him in every way, are we making him to comfortable therefore he doesn't fight for himself? Our frustration is that we know we are going to be in a nursing home in a week if he doesn't try. And while that sounds cruel, it's almost as if he doens't want to try, is that possible? His stroke was on the right side therefore he has no movement on his left side, although he will sometimes move his left leg. We have understood the words "I'll move when I want to" Is there anyone else who has faced this, I guess what I'm looking for is some form of motivation that has been successful for others. I feel like we have to try something different because what we are doing is not helping. Thank you for any advice or suggestions that can be offered.
: Thank you
: Tracy

tracy,
my heart goes out to you and your family.
I'm not able to make any suggestions to you but I have been where your father in law is at now.my stroke was back in november of 1992. and was caused by being crushed also putting me into a coma for 9 days, like him my left side was affected totaly paralyzed on left side. after coming out of my coma it was 3 or for days before they could make me believe I'd had a stroke I was only 42 at the time my thinking was that was too young for a stroke. then it was a few weeks before i believed i'd been left paralyzed. it's been a little less than a month for him and he has many emotions to go through yet. i'm not sure if he is still in the denial stage or has moved into the depressed stage but he will go through both if he hasn't started yet. you didn't mention his age but he needs some time to greive his losses and there are many.if he says that he'll move when he wants to i'd tend to think he's still in the denial part of recovery. keep in mind it's going to be a lifetime of recovering now it's almost 8 years for me and i'm not able to tell you i've improved at all since my release from the hospital on march 12th of 1993 5 months after my accident. 10 days doesn't sound like much time i know but they aren't looking for full recovery in that time but don't give up on your faith, i'm not able to tell you what to try to get him motivated other than reassure him of uour love and support he will need that. also he has to know that life goes on after a stroke and yes life can be good as well. sure i wish that i'd be able to walk again without a cane and wish that i'd learn to write with my right hand i'd been left handed but my life is a good one i'm probably the happiest now that i've ever been in my life, other than the walking and writing i wouldn't change a thing.
while i'm not able to think of anything else to say that might help you or him if you think of anything i'd be able to help you with please don't hesitate to write and ask me to coldiron@delanet.com nobody can or needs to go through this alone.
looking forward to hearing from you if needed.
Larry Coldiron


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