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Re: any advice will be appreciated

Re: any advice will be appreciated

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Posted by Louise on October 30, 2000 at 22:49:36:

In Reply to: any advice will be appreciated posted by Tracy Dau on October 21, 2000 at 18:04:37:

: On Sept. 27, 2000 my father in law had a massive stroke. He was airlifted to Austin TX where we were there was basicly no hope for rehabilitation. By the grace of God we have had him transported to the city in which three of his children live. For 31/2 weeks he has been in the hospital and we have finally as of yesterday made the move to a rehab center. Our problem is the rehab will only give us 10 days for him to respond. He shows great progress (by our standards) but when a medical person walks into the room he closes his eyes and refuses to respond. With the family he has spoken long strings of sentences which we are only able to interpret the first couple of words. His right arm is very strong and he has demonstrated both movement in his right arm and leg. Our big challenge is we know he is capable of doing so much more than he is demonstrating to the rehab personnel, and the 10 days makes time of the essence. We have been with him for 24 hours a day since the stroke occurred. Are we overstimulating him? We have also tried to accomodate him in every way, are we making him to comfortable therefore he doesn't fight for himself? Our frustration is that we know we are going to be in a nursing home in a week if he doesn't try. And while that sounds cruel, it's almost as if he doens't want to try, is that possible? His stroke was on the right side therefore he has no movement on his left side, although he will sometimes move his left leg. We have understood the words "I'll move when I want to" Is there anyone else who has faced this, I guess what I'm looking for is some form of motivation that has been successful for others. I feel like we have to try something different because what we are doing is not helping. Thank you for any advice or suggestions that can be offered.
: Thank you
: Tracy

Hi Tracy. I'm new at this bulletin board, but when I read your message, I tried to think back to what helped me the most through those first few months after my husband had his stroke. Probably trying to understand what he was experiencing, and dealing with each situation with that in mind, was most helpful. I knew he was confused and scared. I knew his frustration and anger at not being able to communicate only reduced his ability even more to respond and understand what was being expected of him. I knew he had to be the one to fight this thing, and all I could do was offer support and love and be there for him. I worked hard to become as knowledgeable as I could so good decisions were made. I didn't know anything of support groups. I read everything I could put my hands on. I remember I felt lost when his therapy stopped, and I felt frustrated at the lack of information I could find. My faith back then, 38 years ago was not as strong as it is today. Yet it helped me through those years. I knew we are responsible for the effort we put forth, but not the outcome, so I did my best. I hope it helps to know that we know what you are going through - its rough on everyone. Just be there for him and love him and try to understand the demands being put on him right now from his point of view. I hope this has been helpful. Louise




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