posted 10-04-2002 09:35 AM            

Main Info:
Well I started my course of ACCUTANE a couple days ago on monday. Today is friday so it's been 5 days and 4 pills so far. (I only take 1 40 pill a day)

BIG EVENT This Entry:
I thought it was going good for the first few days, no initial breakout and besides a lil redness it looked better then it ever did months ago. But today I woke up with so manhy whiteheads all over, all different sizes

My Thoughts:
I hope this initial breakout doesnt last that long because it is pretty bad.... Also ACCUTANE'S intitial breakout could of teamed up with my 1&1/2 hour stressly arguement last night and made a really bad breakout..Thats what I'm hoping... Maybe if I don't get stressed throughout the weekend it wil be a little better at least for school on monday.

Side Effects Details:
Well so far just a little redness on the face, chapped to HELL lips, and I now tend to get really mad easily. I just have try and control myself. In the end this will ALL be worth it for clear skin. As for the lips, I put on chapstick and that helps ALOT. The face redness helps sometimes though.... It kinda helps to hide the old red spots left over from my other acne. And sometimes blends in with my current pimples and makes it look a little bit better. I noticed very little little muscle pains the first two days (tuesday and little bit of wednesday). Actuall I should be careful, they weren't "pains" because it didn't "hurt". I would just classify it as "Muscle Soarness". It doesnt hurt, you can just feel it a little. Anyways thats no big deal at all. But it was VERY LITTLE. Nothing you can't manage, I just forgot about it. All-N-All No big deal.... The only thing I HATE is the pretty bad breakout I'm having right now....

Side Effects Overview:
~Face Redness
~Chapped Lips
~Initial Breakout
~Get Mad Easily

Good Things This Entry:
Nothing other than the redness helps cover my freakin initial breakout! And I got to stay home from school today so maybe things will change on monday. I know I shouldn't stay home and runaway from something I will have to go to everyday (school). But I always go for whatevers the easy way out at the time.

Comment This Entry:
"I hate this initial breakout!"

*Feel free to not only read but respond to my entrys*
*Questions*
*Suggestions*
*Let's Help Eachother Out*

[This message has been edited by 16YearsOldLooking4TheCure (edited 10-04-2002).]

[This message has been edited by 16YearsOldLooking4TheCure (edited 10-04-2002).]

posted 10-06-2002 11:00 AM            

Main Info:
Well I started my course of ACCUTANE a LAST monday. Today is sundau so it's been 7 days and 6 pills so far. (I only take one 40 pill a day)

BIG EVENT This Entry:
The initial breakout... I can't take it. I don't want to go to school. I have chapped lips, red face, and ACNE ALL OVER. In weird places too. All around lips and nose..... INCH UNDER MY EYES??? WHAT? I;m thinking of going on INDEPENDENT STUDY until I'm doen with the ACCUTANE course. It would be SO MUCH easier to get through it that way... I wouldn't worry about how I look EVERYDAY sicne I have to go to school EVERYDAY.

My Thoughts:
TOO LATE. Got stressed out again last night too. Cryed and all. I was beggin my mom to put me on independent study..... I think she will let me. We just need to get all the INFO. and get this done.. I just hope I won't fall behind in credits and have to make up some electives.. That would suck... I think either way stress or no stress the breakout will continue for a while... ACCUTANE is taking over.. BUT INT HE END.. it will all be worth it

Side Effects Details:
I had this wierd thign happen to me. I was at the comp.screen. Reached over to the left really far to put my glass of water back... And when I turned my head back to the screen, I felt a little light headed. (kinda like when you get up too fast). I tried to focus on the screen. Everythign started to get blurry and i thought we were having an earth quake or something I DONT KNOW, Because the whole room looked like it was slowy turning side ways..... I stood up and grabbed my bed.. And went to the bath room still feeling dizzy and put water on my face... Went to my room and laid on my bed for a lil bit... It was wierd..... Ive never passed out b4.. But it felt like how you feel b4 you pass out..... I dont know... Felt SOME back pains in the morning.. I just have to sit up straight... Other lil muscle feelings here and there.. Not realyl pain.. Just throbbing a lil lil... It's weird... And chapped lips still here, initials breakout taking over my existance.. LOL... I shouldnt laugh it's not funny at all. I was crying about it last night... Not because of "IT" itself.. Because knowing that I have to go to school on monday looking like that.. (that was before I talked to my mom about independent study).. But whatever...

Side Effects Overview:
~Face Redness
~Chapped Lips
~Initial Breakout
~Get Mad Easily
~Back Pain Once A Day
~Weird Feeling In Other Muscles Sometimes
~Weird problems with vision

Good Things This Entry:
NOTHING! Except I hope I can go on independent study to get this 5 month thing over with. Acutally the time I would go back to reg. school would be end of january.. So I would still finish up the last month of the course the first month I would go back to school. But my face has to be clear by then... People say all the time the BAD turns to GOOD drastically to where you can really tell around like 2 months into the ACCUTANE. Course

Comment This Entry:
(3 comments this entry)
"I hate this initial breakout!"
"I hate that I have to worry about going to school!"
"I hate that if I go on idependent study I might have to make up credits for my electives!"

*Feel free to not only read but respond to my entrys*
*Questions*
*Suggestions*
*Let's Help Eachother Out*

~~~~ I'm Probably ONLY Going To Update Every Sunday Now On THIS Post, It's TOO Much To Write Every Few Days..... You Know How Long The ACCUTNAE Course Is??? 5 Months Give Or Take. Thats Like 50 Entries if I Keep Doin Em This Fast.. So For Now On. Expect Updates On How I'ts Going Sometime During Every Sunday~~~~

posted 10-06-2002 01:30 PM            

You mean literally just 1 whitehead? Nothing else on your face?

IF SO, Damn I wish my face was like that.. I get at least 10 whiteheads daily... Along with 1-3 cystsic ones, And then some other ones sometimes.. Mostly I just have whiteheads... (And they can get BIG)
And plus I still have A LOAD of red spots from past ACNE that still look like current ACNE from a short distance... My Face Is F$%**k Up.

[This message has been edited by 16YearsOldLooking4TheCure (edited 10-06-2002).]

posted 10-09-2002 10:29 PM            

Main Info:
Well I started my course of ACCUTANE on monday (10/30/02). Today is Wednesday so it's been 10 days and 10 pills so far. (I only take one 40 pill a day)

BIG EVENT This Entry:
Well CANCEL what I said before. "NO INDEPENDENT STUDY NOW!" But I'm tuffin it out DAY BY DAY. It's not as bad I thought it would be. (going to school while on ACCUTANE) I just never look in mirrors, try to to touch my face, and make sure I just try to act regular. I'm still getting a little more of that initial breakout... NOT AS BAD AS IT WAS THE FIRST 1-6 DAYS THOUGH.. That was BAD! Now the zits I am getting are for the most part smaller and not all big and red.. But It still looks sick... I just try to keep my mind off it while I'm at school. SO far it's been working but each day goes by so slow.... W a itin to go hom e.....EVERYDAY..... But somehow I'm getting along pretty well, JUST GOTTA KEEP MY MIND OFF IT!

My Thoughts:
Havent got stressed out at all like last Friday & Sunday.. Maybe that was the reason I broke out so BAD when I had the initial breakout. Cause I had SO MUCH acne on face when that initial breakout hit. But it also started off the same morning we had BIG stress goin on in the house the same night. Also on Sunday. Since Sunday. So hopefully I can stay chilled out and not get stressed I think it's helping alot. I have to say the first full week was the worst. Things seem to be getting better now. DONT GET ME WRONG. My face is still messed up and I still had side effects.. But it's about 40-50% better than the first week.

Side Effects Details:
The normal side effects which I shouldn't have to explain anymore...(they are a given). Like the chapped lips, dry skin, face redness, sensitive skin, initial breakout etc........
The breakout is still going but not even as bad as it was the first week on ACCUTANE. I shouldnt get excitied though I coul dstill be one of those people who dont clear up until the last month of treatment or something..... Hopefully I'll be the lucky people you hear about who clear up in 2-3 weeks and the rest of the time thier clear... We'll find out in 2 more weeks or less.
My lips still get chapped, obviously.. Thats one of the side effects that everyone knows stays with you through the WHOLE ACCUTANE TREATMENT. It has gotten a little worse since the first week. They get a lil lil cracked if I don't put on Caramex and stuff like that throughout the day.
Other than that some new ones came near the end of the weekend. Like sunday evening. I started noticing my eyes would get really dry when I was inside stores and stuff. I would have to squint to see and after a while they started to hurt cause they were dry. Without "VISINE - Tears" I don;t know what I would do sometimes.. Also the new side effect that just showed up today was the bloody nose.... I havent got it when I sneeze or anything yet.... It just happend twice today when I washed my face.. When I got my towel to dry my face I always use my fingers to wipe out the water ont he sides of my nose etc... I guess I pushed a lil too hard or something cause I looked at my hand and blood was all over it... I just plugged the one side for like 10 min. and it was gone. Then put in some "Ayr Nasal Mist." It happend again when I just wet face. It was like 1-2 hours after the first time it happend. Not that bad if your at yoru house and it happens. Just plug it up, let it stop, then spray nasal mist.
Back pains just mostly in the morning. It's not even bad though, I dont worry about it right now. It's only sometimes when I bend over to tie my shoe or stuff like that, then I feel it in my lower back. Only in the morning so far though.

Side Effects Overview:
~Face Redness
~Chapped Lips
~Initial Breakout
~Get Mad Easily (Not That Much Now)
~Back Pain
~"Sort Of" Muscles Spasms
~Nose Bleeds
~Dry Eyes

Good Things This Entry:
My initial breakout is still going. (THATS NOT REALL GOOD) BUT... It's good that it's not as bad as it was the first week. I think it's because I havent got stressed out in like 3days.. YEAH! I need to keep that up and see if it helps mroe in long term throughout this treatment.... So far it seems like it helped a lil with the breakout...

Comment This Entry:
"I hate this initial breakout!"
(Even though it's not as worse now)

*Feel free to not only read but respond to my entrys*
*Questions*
*Suggestions*
*Let's Help Eachother Out*

posted 10-14-2002 12:58 PM            

BIG EVENT This Entry:
This weekend has sucked BIG TIME. My face was getting better a few days ago like around thursday. NOw it's all messed up again. I have zits on my scalp, Between my eyebrows, all over my cheeks and jawline area, one right next to my left eyebrow and all around my upper lip and chin, I havent even left the house since saturday morning.. AT ALL! It sucks. But since I have been staying inside I havent been messin with my face so hopefull that will help alot of them heal before tomorrow morning when I have to go to school.

My Thoughts:
I'm still stuck in that mind frame where I was 2 months ago, Accutane is so routine now that all I can think about is my face will never be clear. But then I remeber It's been 2 weeks and that the worst I will have i is a messed up face for a couple months. The only thing that keeps me going everyday (if you call staying inside "goin") is that when this is all over it will ALL be worth it..
I just feel so crappy, I know I look SO UGLY. I don't think I'm going into depression or anything like that! But I am a lil depressed. But I always get that way on the weekends because I always stay inside....
I mean.. I don't look in any mirrors, I hate ACNE!
I leave the light on in the bathroom when I get ready to shower. I turn it on real quick then I hop in the shower so I wont see my face or my back. Then as soon as I get out... I look down until I get to the light switch and turn the light off. Next I grab my deodorant and use the outside light coming from under the door to see how far I shouldturn the knob on the deodorant. Then I put it on. Get out of the bathroom then change into clothes. Then go back to brush my teetch. But I keep the cabinent open so It blocks the mirror.. I dont even want to look in there. It jjuist makes me feel worse. At least I've been through 2 weeks and All I need is 1-2 more then I'll be done with 1 month. Which means..... 1 LESS MONTH TO GO ON ACCUTANE.

Side Effects Details:
Havent had a nose bleed since friday. Backpains only the first few seconds when I lay down, It adjusts pretty quick. Maybe Im just used to my face redness because it doesnt look really that red, just ugly because of all the acne. Chapped lips going strong, I love that Aquaphor. Initial breakout come back in full swing again. At least it gave me a lil 1-2 day break where I only had like 8-15 zits. Now I'm back to like 35-40 all diff. sizes, shapes, and types. I have been getting some joint pains in my fingers lately. I want to buy another heating pad to help relax them when they hurt. Dry eyes but not as much as they were before. Sometimes when I watch TV for a while concentrating REALLY hard, then they get dry. Mostly just right before I got to bed. I dont feel like my scalp is dry but I have been getting a some dandruff. Nothing Head and Shoulders Can't fix..

Side Effects Overview:
~Face Redness
~Chapped Lips
~Initial Breakout
~Get Mad Easily (Not That Much Now)
~Back Pain
~Little Muscles Pains
~Joint Pains
~Dry Eyes
~Some Dandruff

Good Things This Entry:
Nothing Really, Except for I havent had 1 nose bleed since friday.
I Feel SO Ugly Right Now. And The Thing That Sucks Is That I Don't ONLY "Feel" Ugly I Know I Look Ugly.

posted 10-21-2002 01:05 PM            

Main Info:
Well I started my course of ACCUTANE on monday (10/30/02). Today is Monday so it's been 22 days and 22 pills so far. (I only take one 40 pill a day)

BIG EVENTS This Entry:
Well, last night it seemed like I had some chance that it was going o start getting better. I've been keeping on my diet, Last night it looked like my current acne was healign and no new acne was comin.... Now this morning... WHOA... I had to go get my blood tests this morning, my derm. appt. is next monday which is also my next entry. I stayed home from school today, it was just too much from me. When I keep it a lil dry with just plani water it looks way better than it does with lotion, When it has lotion on it it looks 50% worse everytime.... Anyway... The only good think is I'm past week 3. Im now on week 4! Which means next monday is the start of week 5, which means the end of 1 month, and the start of month 2... DAMN. It's gone by so fast but yet so SLLLOOOOW at the same time....

My Thoughts:
I still feel like I will be stuck like this forever.... My face is full of whtieheads. Mostly on my cheeks/jawline.. Thats my main battle ground.. Some little lil little ones that dont bother me at all on my forehead.. Some old ones healing between my eyebrows. But I hav eso many cysts right now!!! Thats the main reason I wanted to stay home.. I alwasy have ALOT whtieheads but I can pop ALL em that are big, put on lotion, then wash it off later on to dry it out a lil bi tto help it look better... LOOK BETTER??? Maybe I should say look less worse.... I have so many cysts from thsi initial breakout right now... Along with so many whiteheads I cant even count in all diff. sizes... I counted and I have around 5-6 cysts.. And the thing thats gettin my depressed is that I know cysts dont go away for like almost 3 weeks or more.. I have 2-3 almost gone that came the first 5 days of ACCUTANE!!! That was 3 weeks ago! So these 5-6 that are all near the same spot on my left jawline will prob. be there for a long while... Which means my wish and prayer to have my face at least decent for the rest of the course it SHOT for at least 3-4 weeks till these big cycts heal... I just want this all to end.. I cant wait till Istart to see GOOD results slawly coming.. Even if they come REALLY slow.. It will help give me hope for the future so I can get through the current...

Side Effects Details:
Havent had a nose bleed in almost 2 weeks.... Havent noticed much eye dryness either...The first two weeks as far as side effects was way worse than now... The only one that keeps getting worse or maintaining its power is the initial breakout.. I have some back pains everynow and then.. And some very little muscle spasms in any/all muscles 1 at a time. Dry skin of course.... Not as bad as it was the first 2 weeks though.. The main thing is the INITIAL BREAKOUT & the very VERY sensitive and delicate skin... It feels so stretchy and weak.... OH yeah.. My lips still get chapped but not as much ats the first 2 weeks.. I have heard the first two weeks as far as the side effects are the worst... So at least I'm through that if only the INTIAL BREAKOUT would end... I dont know ho muc hmroe I can take.. I just want to stay home.. I hate going to school... Since the inital breakout 98% of the time its like this: I go to school, go home. Thats it. I dont go anywhere else. I only leave the house to go to school, get the mail and thats it... Seriously.. I love just staying in my room.. I cant wait till I start seeing the GOOD coming out of ALL THSI BAD.. Hopefully in 2 weeks something will happen.. I want somethign to happen with this INITIAL BREAKOUT NOW THOUGH!

Side Effects Overview:
~Face Redness
~Chapped Lips
~Initial Breakout !
~Change In Mood (Not Depression)
~Back Pains
~Little Muscles Spasms
~Dry Eyes
~Some Dandruff

Good Things This Entry:
Absolutely NOTHING!

posted 10-22-2002 11:49 AM            

I just made the call to the school and you can ONLY do Independent Study for up to 2weeks!!!!! Im thinking of doing that anyway.... I'll take any amount of time that I can stay home from real school..

DO YOU GUYS THINK I SHOULD DO IT???

Even though it's just 2 weeks..... Besides my face.. (Which I know there will be no MAJOR positive results 2 weeks from now...) My dad still would prob. need a little help.. Like meals and snacks throughout the day.... And taking away his dirty dishes... Just stuff like that. He should stay in the bed as much as possible... OH YEAH

I never even mention what type of surgery he had.. It was for a double hernia. He had another one done about 10 years ago too.... ANyway...

Do you guys think I should go on independent study for the MAX they let you do it.. Which is only 2 weeks???

posted 10-22-2002 05:00 PM            

This ACCUTANE has me going through crazy mood changes.. Now I feel like it's way too dumb to not go to school because all I will do is fall behind and mess up my grades then I wont be able to have a short schedule as a SENIOR next year..

Now I feel like it's not even a question wheter I should go to school or not... Right now I just feel like getting back to normal.... going to school getting my work handled like i used to.... And just keep going until in a month or two I WILL "HOPEFULLY" start to see results... Now I feel liek it's no big deal to go to school... And I just looked in the mirror and I see my face and how it looks but I still feel like I should just go despite my face...

Also it NEVER looks as bad as it does at school when Im home.. Thats because as soon as i step foot in the house I rinse it with cold wate and then pat dry it with a towel.. So it drys out my face and makes it look more white rather than red and inflammed.... But I cant go to school dry and flaky cuz then it looks like not onyl do I have ACNE, but that maybe I have some wierd skin disease...

Anyway this ACCUTANE trips me out sometimes.. This is the biggest obstacle I have ever had to go through in my life. NOt just Accutane, the whole ACNE experience, expecially when it got worse.. The accutnae just makes me mroe sensitive to anything people say or how my face looks. Some days I just cry and I want to give up and everything.. Just sit in my room and not even go to school. (like last night) At least when I get through all this I will be a WAY stronger person and will definitly be mroe sensitive to other peoples feelings and things I say to them.

I already noticed that a couple months ago. WHen people who sit and talk S*** about other people and thier appearance I would feel so bad and almost connect to the other person who was being talked about behind there back... I think I am a totally better peron after going through having ACNE..

posted 10-22-2002 05:48 PM            

Anyways, I'm on week 7, 70 mg a day. I hope our accutane experience will be worth it.

posted 10-22-2002 06:54 PM            

I just started week 4. Next monday will be 1 full month complted...

How are your results so far after 7 weeks?

posted 10-23-2002 09:21 PM            

As for my skin, it really is hard to say. It will get better, then worse, and better then worse and so on.
But right now, I think the initial breakout is almost done. My skin is still peeling like crazy, and red marks have improved greatly. My face is also slightly red.

I'll be patient, and not make any expectations on when accutane will change my skin. In the past I would always make great expectations with topicals and pills, but was never clear by when I had hoped. I'm not sure, but thats the way its always been with practically all meds. I've taken.

posted 10-23-2002 10:01 PM            

Thanks Alot, I never thought of myself as INSIGHTFUL or anything.. LOL.. But it feels good to ehar someone say it...

Im not realy one of those kids in high school who has bad ACNE and stays by himself and has no friends. Or the friends he does have are just 1 -3 people... Im kinda or unique when it coems to my status...

I still hang around ALL the main people that went to my jr high.... and then to high school.... There is a BIG group and alot of people know me and I always know about parties and stuff like that etc... I just happen to get bad acne this summer....

Im only saying this because of how your psot sounded.. I "THOUGHT" you might of thgouht that I was one of those loners with acne or sumthin.. YOU REMEMBER HOW IT WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL dont u..??? Anyway.. I wouldnt consider me my lil group POPULAR..But we are prob. on, or practically at the STATUS where alot of people know our names and all.. Alot of people who went to my jr. high.. BECAME CHEERLEADERS.. lol... Theyre cool though.. And the guys became football or basketball players... So I just happend to get stuck with the ACNE being in the group i hang around...

DAMN! I dont even know what the hell I just said!!
BUt i know it didnt make any sense and prob. went on forever not really saying ANYTHING
...!!!!!!
I think the "AVERAGE HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT" just "CAME OUT" of me at that momnet when I typed the ABOVE paragraph.. I always knew I had it.. LOL.. J/K...

posted 10-28-2002 09:23 PM            

And then he gets mad soemtimes and says "YEAH IT SUCKS, BUT THATS NO REASON JUST TO NOT TALK" (Because Im alway quiet in class and find myself going into a ZONE playing SNAKE-2 on my cell phone.. LOL)

Well!!!! (Let's call him Jake?>>??) "Well JAKE, What should I talk about?? MMMMMMMmmmm LETS SEE!!!!! , Oh I know,, I talk about what I didnt do last night, what i didnt do today and what I wont do this weekend.. THERE WE GO.!!!"

What does he expect me to talk about???? I have nothing GOOD going on in my life..

Despite the fact that my face looks like Cat $H!T! It feels like Cat $H!T!

posted 10-28-2002 10:01 PM            

Main Info:
Well I started my course of ACCUTANE on monday (10/30/02). Today is Monday so it's been 29 days and 29 pills so far. (I only take one 40 pill a day)

BIG EVENT This Entry:
Well......... Where do I start??????????????????? Got back from my DERM. checkup appointment about an hour ago.... I was REALLY suprised, HE DIDNT UP MY DOSAGE AT ALL!!! He just kept it at 40mg a day in 1 pill??? Isnt that weird?? I have heard from almost everyone and read almost everywhere your dosage should go up every month. (ex: 40, 60, 80, etc....) Or something like that.. Some people end off thier last month at 120mg!!!!! Why do you think he didnt up my dosage at all????? Also, he was asking ALOT about sadness and depression to me... He was writing stuff down as I talke dand he seemed concernd.. I WAS PRAYING he wasnt gonna take me off of ACCUTANE.. If he ever did that I dont know what I would doo, Then I would absolutely have NO HOPE for the future.. Sure I have been cryign on some days and staying home from school some days..... Other than that I jsut stay inside... I dont think im depressed though? If I am it's just I cry thinking about how much longer I still have to go ... And I just cry thinking about that no matter what I do in 20-30 min/tomorrow/on monday I will be going to school etc.... If I could stay home from school until I see positive results this would be SO MUCH EASIER...

My Thoughts:
I know im sad, BUT nothing that would make me kill myself or anything.. THATS CRAZY.... I just cry sometimes... And I know I have ALOT OF MOOD CHANGES... But not in a depression way.. Just my mood tends to change ALOT FAST.... I dont think Im going into depression I have always been sad about my face.. it's just SO MCUH WORSE NOW that my sadness just increases... I do admit I have been crying alot lately.. NOT ALL CRAZY CRYING. That only happend like 3-5 days out of the past month.. Somtimes I just hold a towel to my face on my bed and just think about life and shed a tear or two.. Infact I did that this morning..
BUT.. he said to check back in 3 weeks?? Normally it woul dbe 1 month.. Hopefully he's gonna up my dosage... But with him sounding weird about the whole sadness/depression thing, When I go back in 3 weeks in going to try to act less quiet/das so he thinks Im beginning to be more happy... OBVIOUSLY I WONT BE HAPPY.. BUT... Im gonna do WHATEVER i gotta do to stay on ACCUTANE...So if lying to him about crying sometimes and me being sad abou my face, then SO BE IT! I AM NOT, i repeat, AM NOT going to be taken off ACCUTANE... I NEED TO FINISH.. If not my face will NEVER clear for years to come & I CANT HAVE THAT!

posted 10-28-2002 10:01 PM            

Side Effects Overview:
~Face Redness
~Chapped Lips
~Initial Breakout !
~Change In Mood
(Not Depression, Just Frustrated and Sad About How My Face Looks & How I Have To Go 2 School Everyday)

~Little Muscles Spasms Sometimes
~Dry/Soar Eyes
~Hardly Anymore Dandruff
~Get Sleepy

Good Things This Entry:
Absolutely NOTHING!

Comment This Entry:
"I still HATE this initial breakout!"
"I HATE the way my whole LIFE is going right now, EVERYTHING sucks! If I could just NOT go anywhere.... I would be 75% more fine!"
(OK, that second one was more than a quote, but who gives a F#&K!)

posted 10-28-2002 10:35 PM            

I know how you feel. Incredibly frustrated... which turns into sadness. But think of it this way; you are sixteen... so young still. When your skin starts to clear - you will live the rest of your life (if this med works the way we want it to =)) with skin you can live in. Im almost 21 and I'm STILL dealing with this disease. And I'm on accutane too. Just be glad that you are dealing with this now. Although you may feel like your skin is worse than everyone else's... you ARE sixteen and sooooo many teens deal with acne. Be glad that you arn't in university (where everybody is pretty much clear) and facing perfect skinned people everyday.

posted 10-28-2002 11:07 PM            

I see what your saying about you being in collage and stuff... But I KNOW alot of other kida have it at my school, BUt it's just that THE PEOPLE I
m always with don't.... I'm about the only one..

I just had another ACCUTANE mood change an hour AGO.

This time one that MIGHT ACTUALLY help me..

I realize it's JUST STUFF ON MY FACE.. AND it WILL be over soon. Hopefully this next month (my second month)

I just gotta stay positive and try to do stuff that I used to do before I STARTED accutane so I can stay happy..
(Ex: Play pool with my mom or dad before I go to bed, Watch our favorite TV shows in the SAME room, And just PLAIN TRY TO stay UP, I need to keep a good outlook on life, It's so hard..)

THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME GOING IS THAT "SOON" IT WILL BE OVER..

I've dealed with Mild To Mild-Moderate for years...
I CAN MAKE IT THROUGH 1-2 HARD MONTHS!!!!!!

posted 11-04-2002 11:52 AM            

DATE: 11/ 4/02 - 08:10 AM
Well I started my course of ACCUTANE on monday (9/30/02). Today is Monday so it's been 36 days and 36 pills so far. (I only take one 40 pill a day)

BIG EVENT This Entry:
My last entry I mentioned that I thought my initial breakout was moving in to the CYST fase because I had ALOT of cysts. Like 5-7 and for cysts THATS ALOT.... But I havent got any new cysts since then now it's just whiteheads again.. AND ALOT OF THEM... Whiteheads..there are at least 30-40 ALL OVER!!!! But it's weird cuz sicne im on independent study now I dont pop them because I dont have to go anywhere... So EVERY SINGLE whitehead DRIES UP lik crazy.. I mean.. if i dont touch ANY of my 30-40 whiteheads in 1-2 days they will all be dry but they are still attatched to my skin... They GET BIG & RAISED & Dry.. Almost like AN ARMY of cirular, raised scabs .. I mean RAISED..... They POP OUT like crazy....But I guess thats good but my face is so bumpy, not actuall bumpy its worse than bump y.. I cant even softly rub nmy hand over my face to apply lotion because there are RAISED DRIED WHITEHEADS ALL OVER!!!!

My Thoughts:
Well, I'm on independent study now, FOR 3 WEEKS AT LEAST... Hopefully by the end of thise 3 weeks (starting today) I will start to see MAJOR changes in my face...If not I REALLY HOPE I have somethign to fall back on so I dont have o go to school until I start to see good coming out of this... If I could get my school or my mom or whoever to extend the independent study another 3 weeks after these 3 weeks (if my skin still looks bad) then that would be a total of 6 weeks... Which is more than 1 month.. SOMETHING HAS TO HAPPEN BY THEN DONT YOU THINK???? And besides after hte second 3 weeks would be over, theres christman break which means another 2 weeks.....!!!! And i KNOW BY THEN, FOR SURE, my skin will be looking up... Anyway.... LETS HOPE I START TO CLEAR SOON!!!!

Side Effects Details:
Well as far as FACIAL side effects.. Like redness and dryness and all that.. I dont really know.. SInce im onl independent study I dont even look at my face anymore.. Why should I , It only makes me feel worse? Anyway Ill try to describe though the best I can.... The face redness is still there.. A lil lil worse or the same as last week... But I did notcie last week the red spots from left over acne were getting redder whcih mad it look lik MORE ACNE when it wasnt.. Well those will fade away with time so im not worried about that.. I just want to start to CLEAR!!

Side Effects Overview:
~Face Redness
~Chapped Lips
~Initial Breakout !
~Chane In Mood
(Not that much, (I DONT HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL RIGHT NOW) So I'm not depressed about going because I DON'T HAVE TO!)

~Little Muscles Spasms
(Nothing to worry about, Thier actually kinda cool. LOL)

~Dry/Soar Eyes
~Hardly Anymore Dandruff
~Get Sleepy

Good Things This Entry:
I'M ON INDEPENDENT STUDY!!! Yes that means AT LEAST 3 WEEKS without school.. I can chill out now and not worry about messing with my face to go to school or worry that people are looking at me.. CAUSE NO ONE WILL SEE ME!!! HA HA HA..
Hopefully by the end of these 3 weeks I will see MAJOR changes IF NOT SOONER.... If not... Hopefully I Cant figure something else out to where I can still do school and stay home.. I DONT CARE. AS LONG AS I DONT GO TO SCHOOL until I start to CLEAR MAJORLY...!

Comment This Entry:
"I HATE This Initial Breakou!"

"I LOVE Independent Study!"
(That Means No Going To School, YES!)

posted 11-19-2002 02:03 AM            

DATE: 11/18/02 - 10:30 PM

Well I started my course of ACCUTANE on monday (9/30/02). Today is Monday.....

BIG EVENT This Entry:
Yes I skipped a week so now I have to update what happend during 2 weeks.. Oh Well... I don't really like writing in this anymore because lately nothing is changing, just getting worse. It was weird during my last derm. appointment (which was exactly 3 weeks ago) he said it shouldnt get any worse than it already was.... exactly 2-3 days after that it got worse by the DOUBLE! If not more...Yeah more prob.! It is sick.. I havent even looked at my face except 1 time.. Seriously when I say I havent looked at my face.. I HAVENT LOOKED AT MY FACE... I try to forget about it since im still on independent study and i dont have to go to school.. I havent even stepped foot out of the house in 2 weeks.. Except to get my blood test and to go to my derm. appointment which as today... The only other time I literally even put my hand on the doorknob was to go to the drive in in another town about 45 minutes away from here to see 8 MILE at the DRIVE-IN! Yeah im a huge EMINEM fan so i had to see it the first weekend it was out.. Bu tthere was NO WAY I was going anywhere.. But then my mom mentioned "why dont we go to the drive in, that way you can stay in the car and no-one will see you"... I didnt even think of that, it was perfect and gave me a break from me beign inside all day everyday... Basically my life sucks right now.. I cant even explain how bad it is and worst of all I pick them all off before I go to my derm. appointments... (thats the ONLY time I ever leave the house so normally I dont touch my face because I have no where to go, and no one to see me...)

My Thoughts:
Im trying to forget about it because it literally HURTS, every part of my face.. My friends prob. think im dumb but they havent even seen it like it is... Im starting to take weekly POLOROID PICS of my front, left side & right side every sunday night so when i get clear I can look back and see how bad it was.... I NEVER look in the mirror because it only makes the pain worse.. I know how bad it looks so why torture myself and loko in the mirror.. I go #1 & #2 with the light off, wash my face with the light off, brush my teeth with the light off, EVEN shower with the light off.. What am I talking about, I do EVERYTHING with the light off..literally!!! Even in the kitchen at night!!! Im trying not to DWELL on my face because im kind of hiding out from LIFE right now.. I dont do ANYTHING.. Just watch TV which I LOVE!!! So from now on I will just try to update this journal with the BIG things that happen.. My derm. said you dont start to NOTICE changes until around 12 weeks normally... I HOPE IM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.. i cant take this any longer... Im SOOOO HAPPY I don have to go to school though.. If I did have to go, I wouldnt even go honestly.. I would drive right passed it every morning and ditch all day and sleep in the back of my car until school got out then go home. But lucky me.. my parents know that I feel like S##T right now, (i think it also helps that i look like S##T right now too, but i NEVER LOOK AT MYSELF) so they let me stay home and all that.. Thats the ONLY good thing in my life... I dont even wake up until like 10 am everyday! LOL

Side Effects Details:
I have coem to the conclusion and Im 300% positive that all that S##T i was fussin about the first 5-6 weeks about the initial breakout..prob. wasnt the FULL initial breakout..it has gotten SO MUCH WORSE...I cant even exlpain... I took some pictures but I dont wanna post em ont he net yet... CUZ IN ORDER TO DO THAT.. I gotta look at them on the comp.. And I AINT DOING THAT..NEVER!!!!
Seems side effects are less NOW than normal..expect the breakout..and i got 1 new side effect about 3 days after my last entry bu ti didnt feel like updating early.... Im starting to get mild eczema on the tops of my hands..If you dont know what that is its something that happends to your skin when its gets extrememly dry.. But mine eczema is here due to the accutane... It just gets really dry, then sort of gets little red spots somtimes small bumps, then turns into kinda of mild scabs then goes away then a new one starts days later.. its NO BIG DEAL... Just put lotion on it every now and then and im cool... still going strong and GETTING STRONGER BY THE DAY!!! The only thing Im scared of is looking at my face FOR THE FIRST TIME when its clear or almost clear and seeing pitted scars!!!!! I know I had my FIRST ONE next to my side burn back when I was in school.. But when i feel me face all I feel is 50-65 + SCABS everywhere!! There not even zits anymore its like they scab up and get all dry in 2-3 days..... there is not one area within 2-3cm where it is not SCABBED up with HUGE circular RAISED scabs..Its taking over!!!!!! I cant even sleep, I wake up constantly to get a tissue because my face face stats to puss or bleed from my HUGE scabs.. Im tryin to get this into yoru head when I say huge,.. I mean huge.. and when i say everywhere... I mean EVERYWHERE.. When I say raised..OHHH DO I MEAN RAISED!!!!.....It sucks so much... I hop eI dont end up clear with MASSIVE pitted scars or indented scars.. I dont really know the diff. but they both go in.... LET'S HOPE, PRAY, WISH whatever your style is.... Keep me in your wishes!!!! please!

Side Effects Overview:
~Face Redness (Honestly dont know.... I havent looked at my face)
~Chapped Lips (Getting alot worse)
~Initial Breakout ! (I cant see it but I can feel it!!!!!)
~Dry/Soar Eyes
~Mild Eczema On Tops Of Hands

Good Things This Entry:
Nothing... Except that I know, for now, that FOR SURE I am hoem from school until 2 weeks into January... Hopefully were getting more time after that.. I want to just get home school the rest of the SCHOOL year. Oh yeah did I mention the ONLY reason we have problems with figuring out how to stay home and stay in school is because of my DERM. now.. HE WOULDNT GIVE US HIS SIGNATURE so I could go on home teacher school once the 8 weeks independent study runs out!!!!! Now we have SO MANY OTHER OPTIONS on how to do the same thing without his signature but its hard...Believe me... SO MANY WAYS..YET DIFF. POSSIBILITIES OF THESE DIFF. WAYS WORKING OUT.. ITS CRAZY!!! Oops...Wasnt this section sopposed to be about GOOD things..OH WELL...

Comment This Entry:
"I HATE this intital breakout!!!!!!"
"I got issuses with my dermatologist!!!!"
(He's got a WEIRD style.. I can't explain it.... I just don't like him.. The way he talks.. I dont know.. its more than that.. Just overall.. And plus he wouldnt sign for hoem school and you NEED a doctors note!!! The only way to express how I feel about him is this... [ Just mention his name & I cringe and say, "Eghhh, I don't know....He's...He's...Eghhhh!"]
Ok..You Get It Now???