posted 01-05-2003 10:18 PM            

I don't even look forward to having sex because I'm so self-conscious about ejaculating so quickly. In fact, I have begun to avoid dating because I'm afraid that eventually things will become intimate and "she" will expect sex ... only to be disappointed. It's totally embarrassing

At this point I would gladly forgo any orgasms of my own if I could go long enough to please my partner.

I can masturbate for hours with out ejaculating, but only seconds during the real thing.

posted 01-06-2003 02:54 PM            

I also suggest you look up a method called the "squeeze" technique, it is a method of gripping your penis during an erection so that you lose your erection, and have to start all over again. This can be done alone, to train yourself to go longer, or if you believe it is an anxiety issue, can be done with your girlfriend present with you playing with her without her knowing what you're doing. (And even if she does know what you're doing or asks what you're doing, I somehow doubt any woman worth your time would have a problem with you trying something so that you last longer in bed.)

posted 01-12-2003 12:07 PM            

Having relational problems anyway, I worry too much about finding the right girl- then losing out because I'm no porn star when it comes to bedtime. Sounds insane to you? It's true. This way of thought has seriously been injected to me (not only through past experience), but by the way society perceives sexual experience.

posted 01-12-2003 01:00 PM            

Taking viagra has been successful for some men. So that is another alternative. Even if you ejaculate fast you can still get hard again in a short time and try again.

An other alternative is a prescription drug called paroxetine (might be its generic name) [20mg] that works combined with viagra [50mg]. It works in 80% of cases so far. It did improve most mens ejaculation times from about 30 seconds to 5 minutes.

Don't give up there are several proven methods that work. You just need to find the one that works for you.

posted 01-12-2003 01:31 PM            

Of the men who can last a long time, is it just luck, no anxiety, no stress, no fear, etc... that is playing a role in their abilities? How common is this problem, if it's a common problem?

[This message has been edited by madcat (edited 01-12-2003).]

posted 01-12-2003 04:00 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by madcat:
Of the men who can last a long time, is it just luck, no anxiety, no stress, no fear, etc... that is playing a role in their abilities? How common is this problem, if it's a common problem?

---

Premature ejaculation is the most common sexual complaint and with a reported frequency of about 30%. So it's pretty common.

Of course any man can go off early if he is excited enough. But premature ejaculation is characterized by the constant inability to hold off. No one knows why this happens. Some speculate its hypersensitive nerves, over sensitive penis, or some chemical imbalance.

What is clear is that it doesn't usually clear up by itself and it can become quite debilitating. I know drugs always seem like the last thing you want to deal with. But, so far as I know, there are no other viable alternatives.

I have always been a fairly rapid shooter. I could last a long time with masturbation and foreplay but when it came to intercourse I had to really work at waiting. Frankly it was a real down side to intercourse. My own feeling about it is that when I was on top the muscles in my groin and butt were very tense and that caused an immediate sensation that I wanted to ejaculate. I had to fight against that feeling constantly. So I think it's some kind of muscle thing perhaps that puts pressure on your penis and/or prostate and causes a sensation of over stimulation. I could be in my wife and not moving and still feel that pressure to ejaculate very soon. Any kind of thrusting made it very hard to wait. Being on the bottom was definitely better because that feeling wasn't as strong. It was still there though.

posted 01-14-2003 07:08 PM            

(sorry for not getting it sooner, blf}

[This message has been edited by bfl (edited 01-15-2003).]
{just wanted to add that the entire post has been removed, bfl}

posted 01-15-2003 02:57 PM            

{no posting of commercial websites...please support the advertisers that make this board possible, thanks, bfl}

posted 01-18-2003 10:54 AM            

Other tips: Try a lidocaine topical ointment (like dentists use before a shot) or other numbing ointment to help lower the intense pleasure sensations. Better yet, as awkward as it is, talk to your partner and let her know that your first shot is quick (now that you know yourself better) and your second (if she's interested) would take a lot longer and let her decide how long she wants to play with you. Also give yourself time and foreplay her first. If you focus more on her pleasure than yours, it may help you as well. Lastly, no one is perfect in bed the first time and every time. I'm sure even James Bond has a quickie now and then, i.e. don't be so afraid of failure, it means that you are human (not perfect) like the rest of us.

posted 01-19-2003 11:44 PM            

[This message has been edited by rico-tico (edited 01-19-2003).]

posted 05-26-2003 08:45 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by YoungLife:
In the porno movies we watch they seem to go on forever, they must be using pills?

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posted 05-28-2003 05:49 PM            

I dealt with PE all of my life.. I no longer deal with it and it has changed my life.. The key to getting over it is retraining your mind to not expect ejaculation (pleasure) so soon after sex/intercourse has begun. Men get to excited over the anticipation of orgasm. They are accustomed to having the orgasm quickly due to mens masturbation practices.. You simply need to train your brain/penis to last longer than you are used to or you need to provide some negative reinforcements at the time you feel the urge to ejaculate.

Here are some natural routes.. Use them alone or in combination and you should see changes pretty quick. Don't expect a solution in 2 days or even a week for that matter. Give it a month and once you're there, you likely won't have to deal with it again.

The best way: Have sex more than once a day.. Do it 4-5 times or if only a couple times per day, do it back to back.. Do it til you're sore... Train your penis for a marathon. This is how porn stars do it.. All they ever do is have sex... and their job requires they can hold off/stay hard for long periods of time.

Stop/Start, etc: Just as posted above.. Masturbate and bring yourself close to orgasm, then stop. A good thing to do at the stop point is kegel about 20 times. Regain your erection, masturbate again until close to orgasm and stop. Repeat several times for say 30 minutes or so.. Important.. Do not finish off by ejaculating. Do this daily, or atleast every other day and don't finish off by ejaculating. Yes, it is tough.. but refrain.

Kegel exercises: Kegels involve the flexing of the PC muscle between your balls and anus.. It is the muscle you use to cut off urine flow. It needs to be strong if you are to benefit from it. Flex it.. Do alot of them.. Work up to 300 a day and do them everyday. They are tough in the beginning. Eventually, via the strength of your PC muscle and PRACTICE, you will be able to voluntarily control your ejaculation. There is alot of info out there regarding multiple male orgasms.. Kegels are the starting point. The idea is that when you feel you are going to ejaculate, you do a really strong and prolonged flex until the feeling subsides. Takes practice, but all worthwhile things do. I would recommend doing these regardless for penile health.

Slap: When you are having sex and begin feeling the urge to *** , pull out and slap your glans (head) up against your partners; thigh, bum, cheeks, your hand, etc. This redirects pleasureable nerve impulses.. You may have to do several in a session. MOre of a temporary solution.

The Bend: Be careful with this one.. Make sure you are really hard. Masturbate until you get close to ejaculation... When you feel the urge to ejaculate or the muscles beginning to contract, gently press your penis downward toward the ground/between your legs and hold it there until the contractions stop. Do it gently as to not break anything.. After a few goes, you will get the hang of this.. You probably will only be able to do this once per session. It's best to do the bend a little before you feel contractions.

Acupuncture: Have no direct experience with this,but have heard read that it can be successful, although expensive..

Negative Visual Stimuli: While having sex, think of something relatively unpleasant.. think about changing the oil in your car, digging a ditch or wallpapering the kitchen. Don't tell your significant you're thinking of this stuff. It does help and eventually you can think about the task at hand.

Penis Exercises: You know the ones that help make your dick bigger? Been doing this for a while now and have run across a few benefits.. One, I get mega hard erections. Two, my dick is getting longer and fatter. Three, I can have more frequent erections and more forceful ejaculations. Four, I am increasing the overall health of my penis to avoid alot of the problems men experience later in life. and finally, it his helped me with PE.

Extend foreplay: Simple.. Make foreplay last 45 minutes... Have your significant stroke you gently and backing off when you get close.. When you get head, make it slow and soft..til you get more used to it. The key is extending the sessions beyond your normal climactical expectations or the "2 minute" mark.
Also: WHen the woman/man is on top, men have more control. Any position where the mens hips are thrusted forward will cause him to ejaculate more quickly. Same goes for women by the way.. so use that to your advantage.. So, women go on top. Also, when the woman is on top, have her go slow.. With little in/out movement. Stay deep, but maybe have her/him wiggle a bit,just enough to keep you at that "edge". Get used to it and have her/him work up thru longer and longer thrusts.

Thick condom... Use a really thick condom to start and then graduate to thin. Be sure to allow yourself plenty of practice/thrusting before you go thinner.

Masturbate before having sex.. Maybe an hour or two. This is just like the first one, but solo and not as fun.

Oh, and I just have to say... In my experience, the pinch method is a waste of time.. Really not as
effective.

posted 06-03-2003 04:08 PM            

What women want is attention, caressing, teasing, licking, kissing. Spent more time on foreplay. Kiss her body up and down, feel her, get comfortable being naked with her. This will get a lot of the anxiety out which will better prepare you and which will arouse her and better prepare her to accepting your penis inside her.

Women like it much more if you make them need it. Tease her and all that time will take away your fears and anxiety and will please her. When both are ready then proceed to sex.

When you start having sex, start slow. Remember she doesn't wanna get rammed right away. Take your time, be passionate. If you feel you're getting close, slow it down, switch the rythmn of the pumping, or withdraw, wait a second and then go back in. You'll only need to do this at the beginning.

Once you get into it, then you'll be able to speed up. But do this gradually. Try not to focus on the feeling in your penis but rather on pleasing her. It keeps you lasting longer and makes you a better lover.

Now that the pace has quickened, you can't just withdraw or you'll break her building orgasm. Try not to think of the feeling down there. When appropriate, switch positions and that will give you the time need.