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Mandie Senior Member  Posts: 229 |
posted 01-26-2003 08:09 PM
  
I know that I have been talking to you guys and you have been so very supportive to me as far as all of my health issues. But, it always seems that when one issue seems to get slightly better, another starts and makes me so upset and nervous. I had mentioned that I have had a "stiff leg", I just don't know how to discribe this. My knee hurts somewhat and around that area it seems to be stiff and hard to walk. Of course I ran to the orthopedic dr. and he took xrays and told me he saw nothing wrong and told me to forget it. Well, this was 2 weeks ago, and I still feel this way. I called my regular dr. and of course he felt that I was overreacting and told me to relax and not to worry. My question is- should I worry about this? I just don't know what is real and what is not anymore. everytime something happens to me I run for so many tests and usually find out that there is nothing to worry about. So , here I am again, at the same road now. I have run out of doctors that belief me, and frankly, I just don't know how to think myself. The question is- could this problem be from stress?? Of course I am thinking horrible thoughts that maybe it is MS, or a muscle condition or something even worse. THat is how my mind goes, but I am afraid to even say this to anyone because they look at me like I am such a hypoconriac. I probably could travel over an hour and look for a new doctor that does not know me, and maybe he would take me seriously. but why do I have to do this. I just don't know when I need to be worried or need to just say " It will go away, it is nothing" Everytime I get a symptom, which seems to be every week, do I need to run to a doctor to find out why? I know that there are so many tests that can be done for almost anything and I keep thinking that maybe I should have all of these, even though I am so afraid of them all. I even sometimes tell the drs which bloodtests I should have depending how I feel. THey probably all hate me and wish that I would stop being their patient, but, I still have to be. We all need a doctor that we can trust and talk to- but, I just keep turning them off. So, here I sit, worried about this new problem and trying to think of the many reasons why my right leg should feel this way-- I really am exhausted and so tired of all of this-- M IP: Logged |
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tigerstx Member Posts: 39 |
posted 01-26-2003 08:58 PM
Mandie, Sorry to hear of your situation...I too am very phobic about an underlying illness, I have consistant panic attacks, (although with the grace of God, I am now on Lexapro and only been 2 weeks, but I am trying to feel better). I am the same way you are, I get one thing under control, like Friday I went to the doctor, because I have had episodes where my heart just races out of control and so they did an elecocardiagram and the tech told me that there were no blockages or anything like that, MVP as diagnosed before, but a mild case. I seem to get better with knowing that my heart is o.k., then start worring about a headache...it is a vicious cycle and with the help of Christ, we can get through this. It's funny how you think that your the only one going through all these things when it is happening, but since I found this site, it has been a God-send. I actually just happend to come across this by accident. I would love to hear back from you anytime. Becki IP: Logged |
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kate_wv Senior Member Posts: 79 |
posted 01-26-2003 09:15 PM
The saying "it's always something" sure applies to us with anxiety. It's that way for me too...just when you think everything is "ok now", something else happens or a new symptom arises. Mandie, if it helps, I have a friend with MS and her symptoms are nothing like yours...she's off balance and has some numbness and stuff in her feet, and she tires easily. Maybe you twisted your knee a bit...If the orthopedic guy took X-rays and said you were OK....maybe you really are OK...Try giving it a little time..My theory is..if it gets worse I'll go to the Dr...if it goes away..it was nerves..  ...PS...I left a post for you under the other heading!![This message has been edited by kate_wv (edited 01-26-2003).] IP: Logged |
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Mandie Senior Member Posts: 229 |
posted 01-26-2003 10:35 PM
OH God, you are both angels- You have calmed my fears and I thank you so much. I just cry and cry because I feel that I am so alone in this and then along comes you both to help me. Even though it is only a "virtual help" it certainly is a wonderful intervention. I thank God that I found this board and I hope that you don't think that I am a pain in the neck with all of my problems. I am just so worried about my leg now and I really have no one else to talk to because my family just thinks I am being "ridiculous". Kate, thank you for explaining the symptoms of MS, but I just thought of that because I don't know what else could be causing this. I always think of the worse- I just can't seem to control my fears. Can you explain what else you think could cause these symptoms? If I only could be reassured that it was not serious (as in everything I have) then, I could deal with it and just cope. That is where the doctors come in, but as i said before, I just have no one to go to anymore that will believe that I am in pain and to reassure me. So what do I do, wait until something terrible happens and then go and say " I told you so" Is this where it is coming to?? I am just to weary and tired of this M IP: Logged |
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kate_wv Senior Member Posts: 79 |
posted 01-27-2003 08:03 AM
Good morning, Mandie...Glad we were able to help you some. I get help from everyone here just as much. I still have symptoms of my own I contend with, so I'm in no way "cured" myself. You're not a pain in the neck, but I know how you feel because I have felt my family has felt the same of me many times!!...I too, think the worst. This is a BIG sign this is anxiety. There is no middle ground with me. Either I'm fine or it's cancer...you see, cancer has been my biggest fear since I was about 12..Not sure why, but I suspect it had something to do with my 6th grade teacher telling us kids very graphically how a relative of hers died of cancer. Why she did it, I have no idea, but I can trace my fear back to that though the memory is vague. You're doing the same thing thinking your stiff knee is MS. My psychiatrist I saw years go told me "Kathy, you know too little about too much", meaning I knew all these little symptoms, but not enough about them to really make a diagnosis. I dont know if you do this, but DON'T go to Internet sites or read books about symptoms of diseases to try and figure out what you've "got". It will just the scare the heck out of you for no purpose..and I speak from experience. Don't read "Dr books" or wommen's magazines..it only makes it worse..I know!!...I honestly believe because I've done this myself...that a person can make a part of their body hurt just because we concentrate on that part so hard and worry over it so constantly that we make the muscles stiff and cause real pain. Our mind can make our bodies sick...literally. I've had a pain in my tummy under my ribs on and off for months...worried over it...tensed every time it happened. Then I went to visit my Mom a few days..I was distracted....The pain kind of went away...I realized if this were serious...it wouldnt have gone away. So since I've gotten home it's been almost gone..and when I DO feel it from time to time I can tell myself it's tension. The less you concentrate and worry over the ache or pain, the less it will bother you. Just treat your knee as if you had a strain...you could take some Motrin or Advil for the pain...get a little exercise and dont sit and let it get stiffer...I'm no Dr or nurse, so you have to do what you think is best..I'm just speaking from my experience...Let me know how you're doing!...Kathy IP: Logged |
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Jennita Senior Veteran  Posts: 780 |
posted 01-27-2003 03:19 PM
Sometimes what physicians think is due to stress may be due to something else, like certain med side effects. I found something concerning Wellbutrin, for example, that illustrates this idea under one section of the side/adverse effects, which included alot more that muscle/joint symptoms but those are the only symptoms discussed here right now. I looked in the medical dictionary for the "doctor-speak" to get definitions. Wellbutrin: Musculoskeletal: arthralgia, myalgia, muscle rigidity/fever/rhabdomyolysis.
rhabdomyoloysis: The destruction of skeletal muscle cells. Often the result of electrical injury, alcoholism, injury (or laying in one position for an extended period of time), drug side effects or toxins. Myalgia: Pain in a muscle or muscles
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Mandie Senior Member Posts: 229 |
posted 01-27-2003 04:28 PM
Thanks for your help, again. I called the dr. again and asked him about the knee, and said that I have arthritis in the knee and that is that and I have to live with it. He did not even call me back, he had his receptionist call me back. I never had arthritis in my life, and all of a sudden to have this?? This is what I mean about the doctors and how thely frustrate me and cause me not to trust any of them. Yes, I take wellbutrin, but I have been taking it for over 4 months and been fine, in fact, I am weaning off of it now because it juse does not seem to help me and it is one of the 12 pills that I can eliminate. I also took zocor, and stopped taking this as well due to past leg pain problems. But, I would think that after being off of this for over a week I would see some relief, not still have this stiffness. Yes, I guess it could be tension playing a role because i am so worried about cholesterol numbers going sky high without the zocor, so yes, I do have tension. I have tension from other problems as well, but, yet, I never heard of a knee or leg being a problem from this. So now, my only choice is to wait and see another week if it gets better, and if not, I guess I will have to go to more drs. that deal with this problem because, I am now even upset then I was before I called the dr. Kathy, I do agree with you that searching for reasons and answers can sometimes make you worse with symptoms, but i keep wondering if I don't become my own advocate in my health care, there will never be any help for me. It is confusing on my levels, but to sit back and say, "It will go away, I am not worried," is something I can not do. I am fearful what all of this is doing to me, and how much more I can take before I just breakdown. I am trying so hard to push myself every day to go to work and have a normal life. Now, with all my other problems, I can add the difficulty of walking to the list. God- Sometimes I feel that I am being tested for some reason- I don't know why?? If only someone would really sit down and explain to me why all of this is happenning to me, I guess that is asking too much. I just feel fortunate that I found such nice people to talk to and try and help me. IP: Logged |
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kate_wv Senior Member Posts: 79 |
posted 01-27-2003 05:35 PM
Hi Mandie....Had your Dr never mentioned arthritis before now? That would show up on an X-ray of you had that, I think so anyway. Wouldn't your orthopedic Dr have found that?...Well, the "wait and see" thing is just how I deal with it. If that doesnt work for you, that's cool. Everyone has to deal with this thing the way that makes them feel best. Reading symptoms just seems to make me have them....But you've had real health problems in the past and mine have just been with the anxiety. And you're right....you need to be your own advocate. There were times I had to decide whether I really needed a test or the Dr was just doing it to cover himself from a possible lawsuit. Maybe your visit to the psychiatrist coming up can offer some new insight. I hope you find some relief soon....I know how hard it is to live and feel so miserable and alone too...Kathy IP: Logged |
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Mandie Senior Member Posts: 229 |
posted 01-27-2003 07:30 PM
Kathy, no my doctor had never mentioned arthritis before, this is what threw me for a loop. He xrayed my knee and saw nothing really wrong and just blurted out that it seemed to be arthtitis. Well, of course I wanted to question him as to how he came up with this diagnosis, but I know , from past experiences, tha this really turns them off if you act like you do not have trust in their judgement. So, I just left with his instructions for pain medications.(which I hate), I decided to call again and see if I could talk to him, but he did not even get on the phone even when I told the girl that I was still in pain. And, i have to tell you that he really is a very nice doctor. Instead, he told me the same thing as last week (via the receptionist,) and said I should not worry so much. I have had so many problems in the last 20 years, and most have turned out to be stress related. The only one that was not was the endometriosis which I had for over a year and not one of the 5 doctors that I ran to knew what was wrong with me. They kept telling me spasms from stress. I would not accept any of the answers that I had gotten at that time either, until. I came upon a doctor that finally diagnosed me. I had to have a total hysterectomy and it took over a year until I finally was without pain. I am just telling you this to give an example of what i have been thru. There has been many other incidents where drs. told me that I would have to live in pain and they could not help me, until I searched and searched in many states until I found drs that could help me. So you see why I have no trust, and I am such a scared a nervous person when it comes to health issues. I think that I have been conditioned over the years to react in this way because of all the grief I had to endure. I don't think there has been more than 2 months out of those 20 years when I have not had pain and suffering in some way. I know my nerves play a big part in this now, but i think that they are so frayed that maybe I just can not help it anymore. I am going to the psychiatrist for help, but to tell you the truth, I probably won't have enough time in a few sessions to tell her everything. I hope she does not see me as all the other doctors see and perceive me to be. I know , somewhere inside of me there is a person who is normal and fun loving - it has been so long since i have seen that person and that really scares me too. I am a very strong willed person, and that is probably the only reason that I am still able to function every day. But , how long before this breaks down? I just don't want my family to see this happen to me, and I want so much for all of us to live a happy life. I just do not want to ruin it for them. ANyway, I know that you all are going thru your own horrors too, and I am sorry if I sound selfish about my own. BUt I am sure that you know how obsessed you become when life becomes so overwhelming. IP: Logged |
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kate_wv Senior Member Posts: 79 |
posted 01-27-2003 08:32 PM
Mandie, No I dont think you're selfish. Anxiety turns a person's thoughts inward to themselves. We are always listening to signals in ourselves and "testing" how we feel and analyzing it. It's just the nature of the beast. Our own fears become our lives. I know, I've been there...I'm not suffering any horrors right now..but I've been through them from time to time. I'm just coming out of a grieving period for a beloved cat I had for 18 years...She had to be put to sleep suddenly because we found out she had cancer. The pain of her going was terrible and has brought back some of the anxiety stuff, but I'm healing...not suffering nearly as badly as you are. 20 years is a long time to suffer. I've had anxiety since I was in junior high, but wasnt diagnosed till I was 30 when I had a nervous breakdown. That's when I saw my psychiatrist and found a name for my condition. It took me 3 years to get back to "normal", but normal for me is still scared...constant negative thinking and fearing the worst. Your psychiatrist might want to see you at first a couple times a week. I was in such bad shape I went twice a week till I began to understand and get a little under control. I know it seems like so much to tell, but they've heard it before I guess...and they just "see" it. I think it will help you..and it might take some time to work out issues...But knowing someone isnt judging you and isn't calling you crazy is wonderful. I can still remember my Dr..I asked him out right..."Am I going to go crazy" and he said "No" and I believed him...And as many times as I have felt like I was going crazy since..I haven't yet.. I'm sorry your anxiety causes you physical pain...Mine is more emotional pain, I guess. You sound like you're in a particularly bad patch right now...You sound on the edge of losing control...You won't lose control or go nuts...though you feel like it. Try and take deep breaths and wait as calmly as possible to talk to your psychiatrist....I know, waiting is another thing we have trouble with...The Wait...how I hate that one.. One more thing....seems like most medical Drs dont "get" anxiety...I was lucky yo have 2 that did...and now I have to look for a new one. Your Dr might just be at the end of his understanding of anxiety and not know what else to say to you....I believe if a person hasnt "been there"...they cant really know, you know???... IP: Logged |
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Marie55 Veteran Posts: 310 |
posted 01-27-2003 10:43 PM
If you took "Zocor" or any other statin drug, you may very well have muscle damage as a result. No, being off Zocor for a week is not long enough to not have side effects. Unfortunately, side effects keep popping up a long time after taking Zocor. You will be interested to read about others who took statin drugs. My husband took Zocor for 1 1/2 years and ended up having knee surgery. One morning he got out of bed and could not stand up. Naturally the doctor does not admit it was due to Zocor but it was. The muscle pain finally quit after stopping Zocor. Too late, knee damage done. You may need to have the CPK Isoenzyme blood test to see if it is elevated. My husband's was not elevated but he had damage anyway from Zocor. Marie [This message has been edited by moderator1 (edited 02-09-2003).] IP: Logged |
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Jennita Senior Veteran Posts: 780 |
posted 01-27-2003 11:59 PM
Hey, I forget that even meds for medical conditions can cause joint and muscle problems...sounds like Marie has this one nailed. IP: Logged |
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Mandie Senior Member Posts: 229 |
posted 01-28-2003 09:53 AM
I get up every day now looking forward to hearing from you all- it really does help me knowing that there is someone out there that is caring enough to try and help me . I feel bad taking up the room on this board everyday with all of my problems. I know everyone out there has so many as well and I wish that I could be the one to help them. Right now, I am in a very "bad place" and I just don't know how to find my way out. I live to see doctors and take pills. Everytime I go to a dr. I have more stress, and all of the pills that they give me makes me so sick- so where am I getting? Right now I am going in 4 different directions of drs to see for 4 different problems that I have at once and I just don't know how to handle all of this. I know that I should take one at a time, but all of my suffereing is just as bad and I just can't single one thing out and say, well I will deal with this until I fix this- It just does not happen like that for me. Most people have one medical problem, but to have so much at once with no help or answers is just so hard. That is where this board comes in and helps me to keep somewhat grounded and keeps me able to go on each day- even if it is just barely. It is now 10 o"clock AM and I am not working today. It is the only day of the week without a drs. appt and I am thinking of going to the mall. Of course, with my knee it is hard to walk. and with the other pains that I have it is hard to deal- but, if I sit home, I will just cry all day and feel sorry for myself, so I will try to push myself out after feeling better by reading your posts. Getting thru each day is so hard. Even thou I do not believe in guardian angels, sometimes I wish that I did so that I could ask them for help and support. SO many people that I know keep telling me that I have one and I just just have faith. THis is very hard for me to believe because of all that I am going thru. It would be great to have someone with me to help me get thru the days. My mother , who is 83, keeps telling me that she wants to be with me and help me. I will not do this to her, even though it is comforting to be around her. I just do not want to ruin her life while she still has one. I know that deep down she is my true guardian angel, but , I just want to see her happy while she still can be at her age. I feel so guilty that I am ruining so many people's lifes around me--- IP: Logged |
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kate_wv Senior Member Posts: 79 |
posted 01-28-2003 10:35 AM
Hi Mandie....Get out there and shop for both of us today!...I have to bake cookies and I HATE that!!.. Much rather be hitting the Malls with you!...Have you thought of using an elastic bandage for your knee? I had some tendonitis in an elbow and a bandage helped me a lot...You're not ruining your family's life...They just want you to feel better, too. They may get impatient at times, I know mine does. But they still care!!...IP: Logged |
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Jennita Senior Veteran Posts: 780 |
posted 01-28-2003 03:34 PM
As a mother, I can safely say that your mom will be happy just to be with you. Enjoy her while you can. IP: Logged |
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Mandie Senior Member Posts: 229 |
posted 01-28-2003 04:34 PM
Hi well I am back from the mall and I did buy things that I really did not need, but I just felt that I deserved them. When I am in the deepest mood, I go shopping and this really helps me escape for a while. I went by myself today, even though my mother begged to go with me. I just need to be alone most of the time because I just can't put on any acts anymore and if I feel like crying or being upset, I can be in my car with no one watching me. THis is where I am right now. I have given up all of my social life for that reason and I feel so bad for my husband, He says that he does not care as long as we are together and I feel better. He is truly my best friend and in this, I am blessed. I have a wonderful daughter too, and in this I am blessed. But, other than this, I really am in the "bad Place" all the time. I did wear an elastic bandage on my knee and I guess it might have helped some what. But, the main problem is not the discomfort, the problem is the fear obesessing my mind as to what is wrong with me now??? I just can't stop thinking about it along with my other physical discomforts as well. I am going to see my internist tomorrow, again, and I hope and pray that he might be tolerant and compassionate of my new problem. I just need a professional to help me understand what might be happenning to me and maybe direct me as to what to do. I am embarrassed in calling him for every little thing, but, I just can't help myself. So, that is my day tomorrow- seeing the doctor. On friday I have to see a colon rectal specialist for the problems I am having in the dept. I also have to discuss what I have to do about my cholesterol problem, which is also making me crazy and upset. I know with out zocor, my numbers go sky high no matter what I eat, but I also get leg pains while on it. So , now I am off of it and trying other alternatives. My next step is niacin, I hope I can take this and it helps me. I just can't think of anything any time of the day except all the problems that i am having. It helps me greatly to be able to write to you and vent them. M IP: Logged |
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kate_wv Senior Member Posts: 79 |
posted 01-28-2003 06:43 PM
Hi Mandie....Glad you got to go shopping...It sure beats baking cookies!..Shopping is one of my favorite things too...doesnt matter if you need it or not!!..  ...I rarely shop at the Mall these days...Several years ago I "discovered" eBay and it's been great fun buying and selling as well. I've had to stop the last few months, though, because my husband quit his job and is starting his own business, so I have to be careful for awhile..This has caused most of my recent anxiety troubles....it's scary being in business for yourself for the first time.I was remembering this morning an old distraction of mine that used to take my mind temporarily off my "symptoms"...It was crossword puzzles. I have never really liked crosswords, but got to doing them one day when I was at my sickest and I noticed while I was doing the puzzle I wasnt thinking about "me"..After I got better I didnt want the puzzles anymore..Strange, but it worked. Best of luck at the Dr's tomorrow..Hope you can get some answers for yourself. Going to the Dr's causes me more stress than my sypmtoms, though. Worst time of my year is in the late summer when my annual check-up looms and I have to go...I'm literally ill till I get through that visit that day...I do it with Xanax these days, but for years I just lived through the fear...ugh.. Do you have any idea what triggered your first anxiety?...Maybe the psychiatrist can help you figure that one out. If you knew what started it, maybe it could help break the pattern...Hang in there!..Kathy IP: Logged |
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Mandie Senior Member Posts: 229 |
posted 01-28-2003 07:36 PM
Kathy, yes I do remember very well what started all of this horror. It was in 1983 and we had a great business, and our life was just great in every way. But, something happen that caused us to lose our business and everything that went along with it. Needless to say, we had to move to a smaller house and change our way of livimng. Thru out this ordeal, ,my poor husband was constantly getting heart palpitations and asthma attacks and I had to be strong for him. Right after all of this, i started to have bladder pain and thought that I had an infection. However, this is when I found out that drs. cannot be trusted with their answers, because, it took over 3 years of suffering until I found out that I did not have an infection, but had a bladder condition called INterstitial cystitis. I had really never heard of this, but after doing so much searching about bladder pains, and seeing about 15 urologists, I finally came upon one who could help me. They all had told me that I would have to live with the pain and suffering, but I would not accept it. THis is when the merry-go-round began with doctors. I still have this conditon now, but I take meds that keep it bearable, but I never know when this will flare up again. Just another wonderful problem that I have. Anyway, it was this incident that led me to lack trust in doctrs and fear every symtom that I had thinking that I never would be able to get rid of it. I then developed IBS, and levator spasm of the rectal muscles Both of which I still suffer with. I know that a lot of my illnesses are stress induced, but my problem is worrying about the time when they say it is stress related and it is not and the symptoms turn out to be something bad. I have been conditioned to think this way for 20 years and it is really taking a toll on me. I used to be able to cope when I was in my 30's when this all happenned , but now that I am in my 50's and realized that over 20 years of my life has been ruined, I am deep in a depression and can not cope well at all. I hope that you can see why i am the way I am- most people just do not understand. I keep telling myself not to give up- keep on trying for the family and this is what is helping me to survive every day. IP: Logged |
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kate_wv Senior Member Posts: 79 |
posted 01-28-2003 08:39 PM
Mandie...Yes, I understand...As you tell me more about yourself I can see why you're in the place you're in. We have a bit in common...I had my first nervous breakdown right after my husband suffered a depression. He was suicidal and I had a 2 year old, too. I, too, had to "be strong". Being strong for them, though, led to my breakdown and my diagnsis with GAD. I havent had the health problems you've had, though. I can see how the combination of real and fear induced illness could get frustrating and confusing. Unfortunately, I don't really know how to help you sort it out. I can just be here to talk to.... I can really understand the suffering in the loss of your larger home and business as well. I mentioned how scary it is with my husband starting his up now. Before we moved to out home here, I had lived in my home town. We had a big, three story post Victorian home...it was cheaper to live there and we could have that kind of house. It was MY house. It's a long story, but we moved here to a much smaller home, even though its more expensive...and I have never learned to like it. I was so homesick I suffered my second breakdown, this time with depression...about 7 years ago...I climbed out of that one with the help of a wonderful physician's assitant and Serzone. So you see why I can understand you, really frustrating not to know how to help more...And IBS..I suffered with that most of my life....I seem to have cleared that up taking flax seed oil capsules...not sure how that helped, but it seems to have. But I know what it's like to live with that as well. You seem to have gotten to a point close to a breakdown here...Seems to me you're going to have to find some Dr someplace that can understand this "anxiety thing" you're trapped in. You need to get your mind calm, so you can think rationally...and I know how hard that can be...I'm hoping really hard your new psychiatrist will be that Dr...Kathy IP: Logged |
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Mandie Senior Member Posts: 229 |
posted 01-28-2003 10:36 PM
Kathy we sure have a lot in common, unfortunatlely for both of us. I know that you do understand what I am going thru and I feel so happy to be able to talk to you. I do feel kinda awkward crying my eyes out to you on a this webcite, due to the many problems of others as well and the need for them to talk as well. I wish that there was a way to communicate more privately, but that is not permitted here. I feel lucky that I have you and others as well that feel compasssionate enough to answer my crys of help. I am nt sure if what I am going thru is a nervous breakdown or not- I just don't know the true signs even thou it sure feels like a I am breaking down all the time. I try to wear a mask for my children and family so that they don't worry too much. It is getting so hard for me to do this, and this is why I am so isolated, so that I don't get exhausted trying to be something I am not right now. We have many family functions that we enjoy, and I can not ruin this for them- so I go to them and put on a happy face for their sake. Again, it is so hard for me to do this because I am crying inside the whole time, but they can not know this or it will devestate their world. THe new dr. that I am seeing is a woman that basically dispenses drugs and does not do talk therapy. I have yet to find a phychiatrist that does this. I have a hard time with any of the meds- what is serzone? Is it an antidepressant. Is this what brought you out of the depression? Please tell me how you were when you had your nervous breakdown in order to give me some indication as to how far into it I am. Maybe I am having one and I am just too strong willed to let it disable me/ I guess that this might be a good thing. I don't know. Well, I am going to attempt to go to bed for the night ( and yes, I do crosswords too) and wake up to another day to get thru. I will look forward to talking to you tomorrow and anyone else as well. M IP: Logged |
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kate_wv Senior Member Posts: 79 |
posted 01-29-2003 08:15 AM
Good morning Mandie...I guess any of us who have anxiety have a lot in common. I, too, wish there was a way for us to talk "closer", but maybe something we say here to each other will help someone else as well. I didnt realize I was having a nervous breakdown the first time. After I was more educated I realized I'd had a rather mild one. Remember I was having all these symptoms and I didnt know what was wrong with me. I got to the point I wasnt able to sleep well and I went to the emergency room. I was scared to death and thought I was going crazy. I saw my gynecologist and he told me I was a "text book anxiety case". Well, it had a name and others had it!!...I then was in treatment with my psychiatrist for around 3 years. I kind of define a "nervous breakdown" as when you cant go about your normal daily activities or sleep at night...you just kind of "crash". You wouldnt be able to function and go to work..the anxiety is all consuming. That's why it's important to get the help you need before you reach that point. The second time I had insomnia brought on by depression and anxiety. Once again I ended up at a Dr's a little too late. She was a wonderful physican's assistant who suffered form panic attacks and knew right away I was depressed. Oddly enough, I hadnt figured that out, but I knew she was right when she told me. She put me on the Serzone, which was a new drug then and it was for depression...I took it for 3 years or so and it brought me out and worked beautifully...no side effects. It doesn't help the anxiety, though, that's a different story. What you need is someone like her that understands. Someone you can talk to...Someone who can teach you a different way to "think". We with a anxiety get in a pattern of thinking and we need to find a new way to "think" and not automatically go into our old patterns of fear and negative thinking. Right now I'm just quoting books...I haven't been able to do this myself, but I try. Did you get the name of the book I suggested in some back posts?...It was really a great one...she really made sense...If you didnt get it I can give it to you again. Must go eat breakfast now...Hope it goes well for you at the Dr's today...Maybe he could refer you?...Doesnt have to be a Dr...a therapist or a nurse would do....they just have to UNDERSTAND...Kathy IP: Logged |
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Mandie Senior Member Posts: 229 |
posted 01-29-2003 09:34 AM
Kathy You are my ray of sunshine- I look forward to talking to you each day. I do need desperatly someone to talk to that understands. I just hung up from my mother who is just so wonderful and caring and I was trying to explain to her all of my fears with my knee and other things, and all she told me was to stay away from doctors-- she even called me a hypercondriac and that really hurt. SHe said to just go one and think that it will just go away and stop worrying so much. I was not going to argue with her, but, i just can't do this and everytime someone tells me to do this, it makes me worse. I know you understand this- I was suppose to see my internist today, but they called and cancelled because 'He was called away to a meeting"- this is the second time he has done this do me and I am suspecting that even he, now, just does not want to bother with me. It really hurts to think this and I am so overwhelmed with "what shoud I do" that I can not even think straight. [This message has been edited by moderator1 (edited 02-09-2003).] IP: Logged |
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kate_wv Senior Member Posts: 79 |
posted 01-29-2003 10:08 AM
Mandie....Yes, I can tell that talking to me helps you so I make a point of checking here often. If you suspect that your Dr is avoiding you then you need to be looking for a new one. A Dr. or some kind of counsellor... My Mother doesnt "get it" either. But she's more understanding than she used to be. Maybe because I've had this so long. Even if your Mom is right and you do just need to "accept" what the Dr says....that isnt going to help you. I've been called a hypochondriac, too, but it doesnt bother me. I just know it's the same old anxiety...It's what's in your mind that torments you and no one telling you "just accept it" is going to help. It's you who has to change the way you think and feel about things and you need to be calm and rather rational to do this. It's hard work...and takes time. Just wish I could do more...or knew more.. IP: Logged |
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Mandie Senior Member Posts: 229 |
posted 01-29-2003 07:26 PM
Kate you are so right about everything- I feel so much better when I know that someone understands what I am going thru. Just by taiking to you made me realize how important it would be to have someone like you in a support group that I could go to and be a part of. I have made many inquiries and found a few in my area that might be good for me, and i am going to look into them furthur. I really need the one on one talks, and I need to be among others who are going thru the same problems as me. I realize now that this may be the one thing that helps me from going over the edge- like you are helping me- so I really am going to make it my I do not drive at night to go to any of these groups, so that my husband will have to drive me and he does not get home early every night. Also, I sure would not want him to be in on the group, as I would not feel comfortable enough to let it all out, so to speak, and I need to be able to say what I feel without worrying what others think or having them judge me Don't get me wrong, He is just wonderful and would do anything for me, but he just does not understand what I am going thru and I don't think he ever will. So, I need this to be my own private group- I really need a group that meets during the day so that I could get there myself, It is hard to find this, but I will investigate it. Meanwhile, I know that i have you to help me thru the day and that is very comforting. THanks M IP: Logged |
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kate_wv Senior Member Posts: 79 |
posted 01-29-2003 08:02 PM
Wow Mandie, you just made my day!! Knowing I helped you even a little but makes me feel good inside! So see, you help me, too! And out of all my ramblings you managed to think of something that might help you...that I hadn't even thought to mention! It's a good idea. I'm sure if you look you can find a day group. When I was going to see my psychiatrist he had a group in the morning. I bet if you asked a hospital or Dr's office you can find what you need in the day. And unless you go for couple's counseling I think its understood you go alone and have privacy. Don't feel bad about not driving at night...I dont drive at all! I understand about the "husband thing". When I first got sick I was so thrilled at reading what was the matter with me that I wanted to read it to him and share it and it was like he didnt want to know..He just wanted me to deal with it and get better. So I relied on books, my Dr, friends and family..and myself. I think these days I've educated him more and I know he hates to see me upset, but he simply doesnt know what to do to help. Sometimes if a man cant fix it, he just kind of "withdraws". Doesnt mean he doesnt care, though. I have a friend who suffers the same as us...and she was a rock to lean on a few years ago when I needed some support...Maybe if you find a group you can get some good "one on one" help and phone support!!....Keep me posted!!..Kathy IP: Logged |
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Mandie Senior Member Posts: 229 |
posted 01-29-2003 10:58 PM
I am so glad that you feel that I am going in the right direction. I hope that I can find some group near my house so tht I can go myself and not rely on my husband. It is important for me to take control as much as I can and not have others do for me. I think that this will keep me from falling off the edge that I am on right now. I need help and I know it, so I must find it in order to put my life back together. I am so happy to have you to talk - how lucky your friends must be to be around you. I live quite far from your area, so I guess we will be virtual friends and this will be our virtual support group. Both of which is very helpful to me. It is the end of another day, and I will have to face tomorrow in the morning. This is the worse time for me when I know that I have a whole day to deal with and not know what is in store for me. I do know that I am going to the orthopedic dr. in the morning and I hope that he can help my knee without scaring me about the reason of discomfort. See I always think the worse and right now I am thinking that he will say horrible things tomorrow. I pray that I am wrong. I hope the day will come for me that I will be able to think differently and not worry so much about my pains and symptoms like most people- however, at this time, I just can not help myself. Well I will look forward to "seeing" you in the morning-- M IP: Logged |
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kate_wv Senior Member Posts: 79 |
posted 01-30-2003 08:08 AM
Good morning Mandie....Yes, I know all about "mornings"...There are days when I wish I could stay in bed and skip the whole day. In Clare Weeke's book...She has a name for it.."that dreaded morning feeling"...Some times it looks like the day stretches endlessly and you wonder what "evil" the day holds. I, too, think the worst about things. It drives my husband and some friends nuts..haha...I magnify such small things and imagine worse case scenarios...Sound familiar??... I hope the Dr can help you with your knee today. The way I look at it...there's no "knee cancer" and it probably isnt fatal!!.. Yes, I know...I've tried to figure out how to be able to get in touch with you another way than here, but I cant think of one. I dont understand this "no email" policy, but there must be some reason for it. I have another virtual friend in NJ...He's in Cherry Hill...We've been friends over 5 years just on the Net and by email. He's been a big help to me with my anxiety since he suffers with it somewhat himself..He has a more "upbeat" attitude and helps me when I get down...he can always make me laugh...and laughter is a great help!!....So we can talk here...It's helped you so far, so we will carry on!...Let me know how it goes at the Dr's today...Good Luck!...Kathy IP: Logged |
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Mandie Senior Member Posts: 229 |
posted 01-30-2003 04:02 PM
Kathy you sound like my clone. You thoughts are exactly a duplicate of mine- Oh, I wish that I could get to know you better. You are so comforting and helpful at the same time. I am going to get Clare Weekes book tomorrow. As far as the knee, I just came back from the dr. and he told me that some of my cartilage was thinning in the knee which is a by product of osteo arthitis. You know, I am 56 years old and fairly active, and as of 3 weeks ago I was walking without any pain. SO, how does this happen from no where? I asked him that and he said that anything can happen at any time. I did not have any injuries, or falls, or any unusual exertion, so I just don't know why this has happenned. to me. SO along with all of my other problems that I have told you, now you can add- painful to walk to the list. You know, my one salvation with all of my horribe pains that i have is knowing that I can go out and just take a walk and enjoy nature and be calmed. Well, now I can't even do this because it is painful and difficult with a stiff leg and knee to walk. The dr. wants me to have 4 weeks of physical therapy, 2 times a week to see if this helps me. Naturally, I started asking him about all sort of illnesses that may be causing this instead of arthritis-ex Lymes disease, fibryomiagia, lupus, MS to name a few and of course he looked at me with that crazy look like all the rest of the drs have at me and just said- stop going in the internet and walked away. He was so nice up until that point, but I guess I turned him off just like all the others. the truth is that I do worry about all the other things that could be wrong, and this is what is driving me insane, because, there are so many illnesses and diseases out there- how on earth could I have have so many of them with all of my varied symptoms. And, if I did, how many tests would I have to go thru to find out? As I was sitting in the office, I was reading their information on bones and knees and other orthopedic problems. I thought to myself that I must seen those posters on every part of my body because I don't think I have missed a single specialist. My stomach, colon, eyes, ears, feet, skin bladder, legs, breasts(mammograpy), lungs(when I thought that I was choking I went to a lung dr),retum ( I have been suffering with rectum pains for over a year that they feel is stress induced), and teeth. Have I left out anything??? So, I can honestly say that if you tested me on any of these parts of us, I would probably get an A plus. Today, I was sitting over 20 minutes waiting for him, so of course I read about knee, joints, hips, osteoporosis( which I also have), feet, and other wonderful things. So now, I could be an orthopedic assistant without hesitation,as with all of the other assitants I could be as well. YOu see where my life is?? sitting in dr. offices reading about what is wrong with me whatever specialty I happen to be in at the time, You wonder why I am depressed, So now, after coming home from this dr., I am so upset about the fact that I might have problems walking the rest of my life. I love to exercise, and play tennis, and now, I guess this is past history. It seems like someone is slowly taking everything away from me and I just don't know why. If I was philosphical, i could probably understand all of this, but I am a realist, and I just see in black and white . I will set up the PT appts. tomorrow and add that to the list of other appts. that I have to make. I have to squeeze work in the somewhere!! I do have a great job and they do understand what I am going thru, but how long can they be so patient? THere is always someone out there to take my place. This job keeps my sanity, because it is a distraction from the evils of the whole day and it helps me get thru easier. I don't live too far from Cherry HIll, infact my husband passes thru there everyday to go to work. It would be great to get in touch with your friend. Maybe he can join our group- Sorry to ramble so much- but thanks again for listening M IP: Logged |
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kate_wv Senior Member Posts: 79 |
posted 01-30-2003 05:54 PM
Hi Mandie...I was waiting to hear how the Dr went. I know I've been told to "stay off the Internet", too. I just laughed. My last Dr. had a sense of humor and he knew me...haha.... OK, we're going to try and look at the positives. You have a problem with your knee that isn't fatal. It's a problem you can work with. The therapy and some pain meds maybe once in awhile...You have a name for it and it's not MS or anything awful. You need to accept it for what it is. I'm 50...and I hate the aging process, so I can imagine you hate it too. But I'm sure exercise will HELP your knee more than hurt it...Don't let having a sore knee stop you from moving..keep going and work with it. Learn about it and what to do about it to make it as good as it can be. Try not to be negative...that's a problem we both have too. Sometimes when I get a lot of "symptoms" going at the same time I think to myself.."Kathy, you cant have ALL these diseases at the same time!" and then I realize that my mind is causing them from fear. In fact, most of the time I'm fine, but when I start to have things bother me like an ache or pain or something and I begin to obssess about it...I realize there is usually something else in my life causing me stress and it "comes out" as a physical ailment. Right now I have some "ailments" that I'm pretty sure are just caused by the loss of a beloved pet and my husband's starting the business. Just for tonight at least...tell yourself "I know what's wrong with my knee and it's NOT serious". Take a hot bubble bath...(an old therapy of mine) and try to relax. Remind yourself that most of the time your ailments are "fear induced". Get going on your group therapy plan....You're going to be fine..We will probably never be "cured"...but we will be fine.. PS...You will LOVE Claire Weekes!!...You will see yourself in that list of symptoms...I read it often when I feel bad, to remind myself "it's just fear".. [This message has been edited by kate_wv (edited 01-30-2003).] IP: Logged |
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Mandie Senior Member Posts: 229 |
posted 01-30-2003 07:47 PM
Kathy thanks for the moral support. I do have to think like you- it is really important and I am sure if I did not have all the other problems I would just take this knee problem in stride and deal with it just like anyone else. That is my problem- having to deal with it in the normal way just like anyone else would. This is my goal to be able to do this. Yes!!! You are right about the fear. I fear that everything I have is terrible and will not leave me and I will have to suffer indefinitely. Some of my problems are helped egentually, but only after I take over and do whatever is necessary to get better. I do not listen to a doctor when he says "O K try this med and come back in 2 weeks and we will see how you do" I used to believe and trust in that philosopy, but now I realize that unless we, ourselves, manage our own health and listen to our bodies ourselves, then we never will be well. I have had so many bad experiences with doctors and this alone was enough to give me the fear that I now have today. It is like Pavlovs dogs- as soon as I get a symptom, the fear begins no matter what it may be. Last week I had thumping in my head and I thought surely I was having a stroke. I made my husband take my blood pressure at least 3 times a day and I also went to the doctor to be examined. I just did not believe them when they told me that it was stress induced and I was ready to insist on a catscan, until I met you. You have helped me to deal and cope with some of these issues, and I just am so thankful that I found this board. I hope that I am not monopolizIng you or this topic as I know there are many rules on this webcite and I do not want to disturb any of these rules since this is really a lifeline to me. It is just a shame that people in our condition are not allowed to get to know each other any better. I have to say that I have spoken to many others in other groups online, and none of them have the ability to understand what I am going thru quite like you. I dont like the groups that meet at certain times because there are so many people tallking at once that it is hard to carry a conversation. But, I do join some at times to see how others are coping with their anxieties and depression. We are very lucky that we live in an age to have so much wonderful technology available and we are able to help each other from across the country. Well, thanks again and I will rest my knee tonight and talk with you tommorrow- M IP: Logged |
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kate_wv Senior Member Posts: 79 |
posted 01-30-2003 08:21 PM
No Mandie, you arent monopolizing me. I come in to see if you have posted and to see if I can be of help to anyone or if I can get some help myself. I think as long as we dont try to contact each other we will be OK..After all, we're just trying to help each other and "get through it". I can see how you got in your "loop of fear". You just need to figure a way out of it now. It's hard when you're feeling your worst to get yourself calm and rational so you really see you are causing most of your own problems. Maybe try this...sit down and think about all the problems you have had and see how many were real...like your bladder problem that started it and your knee now...How many other things have been really wrong out of all your symptoms? You might find that over all the years, most of your physical problems have been fear induced. I freak at things like moles...sure I have skin cancer or when my grown son has a headache..he has a brain tumor...You know the story...just like your headache.. I cant' believe that through all the years you've suffered no Dr. or person has suggested Claire Weekes to you. My psychiatrist gave me a copy of one her books to borrow only a few visits in and I think that she and her book helped me every bit as much as he ever did. You will be amazed at the physical symptoms that are caused by the "flight or fright" of adrenalin...and she explains how it happens...Makes you wish you could talk to her for real!!... Hope you have a good night...See you tomorrow.. IP: Logged |
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Mandie Senior Member Posts: 229 |
posted 01-31-2003 08:18 AM
Well wish me luck Today I am going to my colon rectal dr. and hopefully he will not tell me tht I have to go thru some awful tests. I have been suffring with this problem for a long time too, and they say it is levator symdrme which is so painful all the time, Yes I am sure that my emotions play a big part in this since I am so upset with this pain, added to the rest of my problems, Yes, I am sure that my adrenalin is really pumping all the time. Today I woke up and thought - another day of doctors and who knows what else will happen. It just is not what I wan to wake up to every day. It is either this, or waking up to misery and pain and havng my mind race as to where to go from here??? It is like a motor boat tht I just can not stop. Maybe if I felt good, then it would stop, but now I feel that there are so many problems going on with me, tht I will always worry if one gets better then there will be othrs to contend with. If one does get better, I just sit and wait unti it heppens again to me because this has been my pattern. I want so much to end this pattern but it just does not seem to be possible. Speak to you later M IP: Logged |
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kate_wv Senior Member Posts: 79 |
posted 01-31-2003 08:39 AM
Hi Mandie...The book you are going to get will help you start to break the pattern. Somewhere along the line you have to realize you arent doing yourself any good just fretting. The book will help you recognize that all of us with anxiety suffer pretty much the same sets of symptoms and will teach you how to tell the real from the fear induced. It was like my brooding over the loss of my cat. I would sit and think about it all and cry and be ill. I finally had to say "Kathy, STOP!" and move and do something else to make the pattern of grief stop. By sitting there waiting for the next pain you are actually inviting it. When your mind is tired and you're emtionally exhausted this isnt easy and may seem impossible, but as one who has been there I know it IS possible to feel better...and you will! I do wish you the best of luck this morning...Tummy ailments are MOST common with anxiety. I've had trouble with mine on and off most of my life. If you do have to have a test and you find out your're fine....I want you to try your best to accept that and try to go from there....Spring is coming, slow but sure and soon we can get out in the sun and we're both going to feel better!!...Let me know..Kathy IP: Logged |
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Mandie Senior Member Posts: 229 |
posted 01-31-2003 07:40 PM
Kathy Well , my dr. said that he wants to wait to see if I improve any more before he wants the test for me. I actually was ambilavent when he said this because on one hand I wanted to know what is going on with me, and on the other hand I did nt want to go thru such an awful and painful test. It is a no win situation, but to tell you the truth, at this point with my knee so bad and being so hard to walk and do things tht I enjoy, I don't think that I could go thru anymore right now. I am going to PT next week and who knows how that will go. I don't know where I can fit this in with my work schedule. Also, I just found out that i hae to have major dental work done- a bridge and caps- and this will not be pleasant either, so I have to fact this now as well as fit this into my schedule. I have to see an endodontist for root canal, and then have a tooth pulled and then put on a permanent bridge. GOD!!! WHen will all of this misery end. I just don't know how I can go thru all of this. It is bad enough to have one major problem, but I have so many to bear at one time with so many decisions to make. I really can't depend on my family to help me thru this, since it is all my problems and I have to make the ultimate decisions on treatment and who to see. I just wnder how much a person can take before they break? I am trying very hard not to, but it just seems that someone or something is against me trying to have peace and happiness in my life. I am sorry to be on such a downer, but, it is just so much for me--M IP: Logged |
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kate_wv Senior Member Posts: 79 |
posted 01-31-2003 08:58 PM
Hi Mandie....Well, if your Dr. said "wait and see", that's good news. He isnt thinking anything is that serious and is sparing you the tests...So that much is good...As for teeth, yes, that's unpleasant, but not all that painful anymore. I've had a couple root canals and had teeth pulled in the dentist's office wide awake and I was fine....scared, but fine....There was discomfort, but no pain and they give you lots of pain meds in case you need them. If you take some Xanax before you go it helps a lot. So don't sweat the teeth...that's a bump in the road....a root canal is more boring than anything else, truthfully. Your knee problem can be improved I'm sure. Wait and see what the PT people have in mind....I'm sure they will have ideas of what to do for it. I know it seems like everything is happening at once..and maybe it just is!...But anxiety will make you feel overwhelmed even by small stuff...even if you didnt have bigger problems... I was just talking to my sister...she's never been ill like us, but is now suffering a bout of depression we think might be perimenopausal....She's so sad and confused...She feels like she's "falling apart" too...We just all have to stick together and talk and share and hold each other together... I hope you got your Claire Weekes book today..I'm really anxious to see what you think about it...Have a good a night as you can...I'm around... IP: Logged |
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Mandie Senior Member Posts: 229 |
posted 01-31-2003 11:11 PM
Again, you have helped me to cope better with my feelings of being so overwhemlmed. I read your post over a few times just to help me get things more into perspective. You even made me laugh about the boring root canal.It felt good to laugh. You are right, thank God, I guess, all of these problems can somehow be resolved, I guess, even though there will be some painful momemts, but, it is just that so much is happenning at once to me, and each day I fear that something else will happen and It will be the one thing to put me over that edge. I try so hard to stay strong for my family, and it is people like you that help me fight this battle. You are so aware and in tune to my problems, it is as if I have known you for so long. It is uncanny how much you understand and can explain what I am going thru. I look for your post every day and find it a GOd send to get me thru the day and night. I just wonder how much more we can post under this category. I am fairly new here, and I wonder if there is a limit to how many posts each question can have. I do not want to lose communication with you, and I wish so much that we could do so thru e mail. Are there ever any exceptions as to this issue? I hope that maybe under special circumstances there might be. But, Kathy, I want to make sure that we are still able to respond to each other, so you tell me if it is All right to continue this way- thanks I will go to sleep now and hopefully wake up a little better than today. I am going to Barnes and NOble to pick up that book tomorrow and am looking forward to reading it. I will talk to you tomorrow M IP: Logged |
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kate_wv Senior Member Posts: 79 |
posted 02-01-2003 08:30 AM
Good morning Mandie...First, don't worry about losing me. We can always start another thread and continue. Either you or I can start it. I'm new here, too, but I've seen boards like this before and we aren't out of line. If we were they would let us know. If you want to start a new thread under another heading, I'll find it. I have posted to a few others here and I look at all the headings..We are helping each other cope with anxiety and this is why the board is here. You help me just by letting me know you are being helped by some of the things I say... Another thing you need to avoid..and it's amusing for me to have to give anyone this advice because I do this all the time myself and try to stop. It's the "what if's". "What if" I get worse, "what if" this happens, "what if" that happens....I do it ALL then time and it's a big "no-no"...We should live in the moment. At the moment your knee might be sore, but that isnt serious, nothing fatal or MS or anything...Just take one day at a time and one problem at a time and you may find it helps not to look into the future. While you are at the book store look for this book as well and give it a glance...It's the best book next to Claire Weekes's book I've ever read on anxiety. It's "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett. Claire Weeke's book deals more with the physical symptoms and how to deal with them and Lucinda Bassett's book is more on how we should adjust our minds so we get out of thinking in the same old ruts. I'm glad you got a giggle out of the root canal..hahaha...Laughter does helps...sometimes it can seem like we will never laugh again. The reason we seem so much alike and I can relate to you is that I've suffered like you and I know how you feel. I bet most of the people who read these posts can relate as well because anxiety is anxiety...and for the most part it's more or less the same for everyone who has it....the symptoms might vary from person to person, but it's the same old anxiety....You're sure not alone...Read some of the other posts and see how much they sound just like us.. Have fun book shopping....reading is my passion..but believe it or not there are times the anxiety was so bad, I couldnt read, and that's BAD!...These books are going to open your eyes!!...Talk to you later..Kathy IP: Logged |
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Mandie Senior Member Posts: 229 |
posted 02-01-2003 08:54 AM
How cheery you make me feel when I read your morning post- You must be a great person to be around!!! Well, as usual you have insspired me to quickly read these books, so this morning I am going out to get them. It is rainy here so I don't think I will be doing much. I would love to go to the mall and just lose myself for a little while, but it is so hard to walk, I will have to see how strong I feel later. Each minute of the day brings on so many new challanges and I just don't know what I will be facing. It is not just getting the the day, but getting thru the hours of the day that is hard for me. My daughter wants me to go with her and the kids to a function with clowns and festivities for children. I just am not in the mood for this and I can't help thinking that I am losing precious years with my grandchildren, but, I just can't enjoy myself and I don't want them to see me like this. I pray that some day I will be able to enjoy each day instead of dreading it-- M IP: Logged |
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kate_wv Senior Member Posts: 79 |
posted 02-01-2003 09:50 AM
I'm glad I help you...There may be some who would disagree with you about being around me..haha..My poor husband that has to deal with my anxiety for one!..haha...I do have a sense of humor and I like to help people if I can. Us anxiety ridden people you will find out when you read, are actually very sensitive people. We just FEEL too much...about ourselves and others... Please just try once going out with your daughter and grandchilden. Distraction helps...the kids will help...It will help you not to think so much about your problems. Sure it seems like its a big effort there at home, but if you can get over the hurdle and just go...Your knee may hurt some..and you might not feel your best..But going out with them is better for your well being than sitting and brooding. You might not be able to do it today...But as you read and understand more about why you feel the way you do and how to live with and manage it...You will see that doing things with people helps...Isolation isnt good...Anyway, something to think about and try...You're going to feel better soon after you do some reading...It's a slow process to wellness...But it can and WILL happen... IP: Logged |
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Mandie Senior Member Posts: 229 |
posted 02-02-2003 07:57 PM
Katthy I started to read the book and you are right that it does have a lot of answers to the questions that I have. But, it is just not the same reading a book as talking to someone and having your questions answered directly. Yes, she does cover a lot about physical illness, but, it is easy to read it , but so hard to actually follow thru on what she is saying. I am the kind of person that needs to hear answers and get help directly and personally. It does not help me to just hear- I have to accept the pain and go on my business- I need a one on one contact to discuss this idea and what is the best way that I could try and accomplish this. I also was especially interested in the section about the "dreaded morning". This really hit home and she really did echo much of what I say every day. BUt, again, it is so hard for me to follow what she is saying when I have no one to discuss it with after I try and am not successful. THe book really does describe me very well, and it is good to know that I am not alone, but, I sure wish that I could find a therapist in my area that was so tuned-in to the problems and solutions of a person like me. It actually depressed me to know that there is someone out there like Claire Weekes who is helping people as we speak, and I am not able to find someone in my area to be able to talk to and have them understand so fully what I am going thru. THis is really what I need and this is where you come in- to keep me grounded and sane and know that there is always someone I can talk to that will listen and try to help me get thru the day. But, I will keep her book by my bed and try to read a little of it everynight and maybe some of her lessons will get thru- THe main problwm is that she talks about people who are suffering with maybe one problem or two at the most. I have so much going on at once, like my knee which keeps me from walking which I love, and rear end problems that cause me pain every minute and trying to deal with cholesterol lowering which causes me such worry , and a big dental procedure that I must go thru whch is making me so scared-- this is just so overwhelming and so much for one person to bear and no one can really help me "accept" and "float" thru all of this Do you know what I mean??? M IP: Logged |
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