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 Girl - what about love letters?
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jonnboy Junior Member  Posts: 16 |
posted 06-17-2002 03:08 PM
  
I wanna tell this girl how I feel about her, the thing is we haven't gone out before, just talked a little. I mean we're not like totally strangers, we just had same casual small-talk. If i wrote a letter sincerely stating I find her beautiful and nice and I want to get to know her, would you girls find that, like, too pressurizing, too fast, too naive, too unconfident?? I think think she's kinda shy so maybe that'll put her under pressure for me being so serious? If someone you don't really know writes you something that says you're gorgeous and he can't think of anything else, only you in his mind, will you find that over-the-top? I know the romantic idea of love letters is very sweet but is there the possibilty in real-life that will just look totally stupid and may actually ruin everything and I would've been better off just causally asking her out for a drink? I really don't wanna mess this up, and I've thought about telling her directly, but I want to write down my feelings and the letter to be a some sort of surprise. What do you think? Especially answers of girls between 18 and 25 wanted! Thanks in advance!! IP: Logged |
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starry eyes Senior Member Posts: 202 |
posted 06-17-2002 04:27 PM
jonnboy, While I think that what you're saying is a sweet idea, I for one would be a little put off by coming on so strong when it seems that you hardly know each other at all. I think perhaps a good middle step would be to try to become better FRIENDS with this girl first- maybe you'll find out you actually don't click at all- and then, if you're still interested, either just talk to her or proceed with the letter idea. The key thing is, you don't want to skip too many steps at one time. Small talk, *real* talking, talking on the phone/hanging out, THEN you ask her out/confess your feelings. I hate to dash your feelings here, and I hope you're not offended by this, but I would try taking things a little slower. Good luck, and let me know what you decide to do, eh? (oh god, I'm so canadian...shiver)  ------------------ IP: Logged |
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DivaDevilition Senior Member Posts: 124 |
posted 06-17-2002 08:34 PM
Yeah, I would say to talk with her a bit more before you write her the letter. I know I for one would be relieved to get a letter from a guy that thinks I'm pretty because then I wouldn't have to worry about how he thinks I look or whatever when I'm around him. It would take some pressure off from me knowing that he already thinks I'm pretty. But anyways, I would just say go for it because life's too short. Worst case scenario is that you flattered her. IP: Logged |
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jonnboy Junior Member Posts: 16 |
posted 06-19-2002 01:56 PM
Thanks for the reply! Well, I suspected everybody'd say "go for it!" but you got a point there. I'll try becoming friends first and I'll keep the letter to give to her on our 1st anniversary... now that's romantic! But then, what would you think if I asked her out by handing her a note (I think I'll try going directly at it, just curious). That means not writing a love letter but something simple like "I think you are b/ful, would you like to go out?" Do you have the same opinions on that? Thx again! IP: Logged |
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Lance2 Senior Veteran  Posts: 2207 |
posted 06-19-2002 04:30 PM
I'm no expert in the romance department. However, I wrote my wife a love letter for our first anniversary rather than buying a card...she loved it! As for this situation, I'd say that you should simply talk with her more and get to know her and her likes/dislikes more. Then you can better judge what she'd respond to best. You could always ask her to meet you for a drink or some other "laid back" opportunity to spend more time with her in person. A note or something more intense at this point could really backfire! Slow and patient is sometimes better unless you're getting signals that may mean something else would be accepted. Good luck! IP: Logged |
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jonnboy Junior Member Posts: 16 |
posted 06-22-2002 04:43 AM
Hey everyone, thanks for your advice and your luck-wishing but just so you know how the story ended, I listened to your advice and didn’t give her the letter but asked her out. Well, the story doesn’t have a happy ending. Kinda funny I wanted to give her the letter and all that and was so sure that she also had feelings for me and I thought we connected, well that was wrong. Now I see it, I guess when we were talking she was just being nice, the nice and wonderful person she is. I really hope she’ll find someone who’s not an arse and who makes her really happy… I know I would have done anything to make her happy… Wow I’ve put so much passion into my love-letter that she never read, when I read it now it just makes me feel hurt and think “how the hell could I’ve ever believed it would work out and she would say yes?!”. Well, guess that’s the standard “I’m a miserable loser not good enough for her or anyone” line of a lovesick guy, the heck. I’m pretty miserable right now and it hurts, so goodbye. IP: Logged |
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