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LiLnuTTy Senior Member  Posts: 174 |
posted 07-03-2003 09:44 AM
  
My daughter just turned 5 mo. old , and she refuses to let herself relax and fall asleep. SHe fights it terrible. She can be totally exhausted, but tries so hard not to let herself drop off. Ive tried everything. Even letting her cry for a while on her own in her bed....she wont even cry herself to sleep...I can let her cry for 15 min - 1/2 hour going in her room every few minutes to calm her down, and she still wont sleep. I dont like to let her cry anymore than that, what mother does? I dont know what else to do, shes up till at least 8:30 every night. ANd during the day, forget it, she sleeps a total of 2 hours on a GOOD day....anyone have any suggestions???? IP: Logged |
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mlgable Senior Veteran  Posts: 5318 |
posted 07-03-2003 11:22 AM
Not sure if any of my suggestions will work but have you tried a lullabye tape playing in the background or perhaps a massage before you want her to go to sleep. I had one child that slept long and often and thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn well there is my daughter. She takes forever to fall asleep and was the one who didn't take a morning nap much and if she had a 5-10 minutes nap when tired her batteries were recharged and ready to go. I never did find a magic solution for her and know that she is pretty much my body double as far as her traits go. She has been diagnosed with ADD tendencies now and what that means is that her brain is constantly engaged thinking of tons of thoughts and it is unable to just shut off so she can fall asleep like "normal" people do . This what distracts her when she is in school too. I can relate very well to that. It sounds to me like you baby is like that. To interested in everything that is going on to even think of letting herself fall asleep. Hopefully some other parents will come up with tons more ideas for you to try and one will work. IP: Logged |
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camden Veteran Posts: 305 |
posted 07-03-2003 02:33 PM
I like the musical light up toys that you can get to attach to the side of the crib. I found they worked miracles as they played for about 7 min. I hated the mobiles because just as the child was falling asleep it quit and woke them up. I had the lights and sound monitor for my son and the underwater fish one for my daughter. I know what a struggle it can be to get kids to sleep. While both of mine slept fine at night it was difficult to get my first one to sleep in his crib for a nap because he usually fell asleep in a carriage or swing then we would move him to his crib. He never did learn to nap in that crib and would usually fall asleep in a chair or on the floor. With my second we made sure to put her in her crib for naps from the beginning and we never had a problem with her. As for your child being up until 8:30 every night, I do not understand. How early do you want her to go to bed. When ours were young like that I always held out as long as possible that way I could feed them and put them to bed right before we went and they would sleep longer in the morning. As children get older they do not nap as often or as long. Two hours seems perfectly normal to me. I would put my kids down for a nap at about 10 am and again between 1&2pm and they would only sleep for about an hour, if I let them sleep too long they wouldn't sleep at night. I wouldn't worry too much about it because stressing about them will make you crazy. If my son slept he slept if he didn't he didn't. I once had enough and decided that I would let him cry in there as long as it took. An hour later I was at my wits end and he was still screaming his head off. That was the last time I tried that! IP: Logged |
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LiLnuTTy Senior Member Posts: 174 |
posted 07-03-2003 07:25 PM
Ive tried lullabies when she was smaller, Maybe I'll give it another shot. I also have one of those aquariums that attach to the side of her crib,and one of those toysd that plays music and lights up on the ceiling, she loves them butwont fall asleep to them. And she wont fall asleep to her mobil either. As for the 8:30pm thing, I think thats PLENTY late for a 5 month old that hardly sleeps during the day. Ive worked at daycares, and all the babies Ive ever watched took an hour to 2 hr nap in the morning and an afternoon nap. When your child turns 10, he or she is just going to think she can stay up until you go to bed, and thts not a good habit to get into. The same bed time every night is a good habit to get into. IP: Logged |
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camden Veteran Posts: 305 |
posted 07-04-2003 02:28 PM
I would like to respond to that last remark about my children thinking they can stay up all night. First of all both of our children slept in our room, one until he was 8mths the other until she was two and we NEVER had a problem getting them to sleep in their own room when it came time. My children are now 7&3 and both have their own rooms. They both go to bed at the 8:30 every night. My youngest has the same bedtime as the oldest because she does not have school to attend. In the summer both of them get to stay up until 9pm. My son never complains about going to bed and my daughter sometimes asks to stay up a little longer, but when told no she heads to bed. I have never had to fight with either of my kids to get them to bed. So, although routine is good, I found the routine of putting them to bed later when they were infants was a good routine, it also allowed my husband who was at work all day a chance to spend some time with them. Now an earlier routine works for us and when my daughter starts school she will likely have to go to bed earlier than her brother. Though routine is good it has to evolve as your child grows. I'm sure you are not going to put your daughter to bed at the same time for the rest of her life! I find what works the best is not so much the routine but the fact that I said it is bedtime therefore it is bedtime. IP: Logged |
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LiLnuTTy Senior Member Posts: 174 |
posted 07-05-2003 07:56 AM
That's all fine if it works for your child. My daughter is EXHAUSTED by the time 7PM comes around. If she wasnt cranky, I wouldnt care that she stayed up a little bit later. But she needs a routine...and should still have a bed time. But ANYWAYS, this isnt an arguement on how late our children should stay up. I was simply looking for advice on things that could settle her so she relaxes and lets herself fall asleep....no matter when I decide to put her to bed. Every parent is different  IP: Logged |
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fntsyangel Senior Veteran Posts: 810 |
posted 07-05-2003 06:52 PM
My son just turned 6 months old, and he has started to go thru this refusal to sleep too. I think it is pretty normal at this age. They are starting to notice the world around them and it is very new and interesting and they are so busy with that that they dont want to sleep. Do you get her up in the morning, or does she naturally wake up? What time is a normal wake up time at your house? Does she sleep well at night once she is asleep? DO you nurse or bottle feed? DSo you have a bedtime routine besides the time? I know, alot of questions, but the more information, the better to try to help. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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LiLnuTTy Senior Member Posts: 174 |
posted 07-05-2003 08:34 PM
She wakes up on her own in the morning, around 6:30 AM. Sometimes she sleeps in until about 7:30AM. She just started sleeping all night recently, and sleeps well once she is asleep.... She has the same routine for bed at night...... eats her dinner around 5:30 PM, we go for a walk ( most nights if its not cold and/or raining ) and we come home take a bath, then has a bottle to go to(hopefullly) fall asleep or at least settle down to. ( I bottle feed all the time ) and by the time 7:30PM comes around, she starts to get tired and rubbing her eyes. When I put her in her crib, i usually play her aquiarium...doesnt always work though and I end up rocking her till she just finally gives in, or I go to bed and just take her with me. Shes done this since shes been born. And was even awake ALOT when I was pregnant with her. I dont know, hopefullly it will get better, as long as I stick to the same routine. IP: Logged |
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fntsyangel Senior Veteran Posts: 810 |
posted 07-06-2003 12:15 PM
It sounds as if you are doing everything right, and she is just at the (first) age that she doesnt want to sleep. Since she has started sleeping thru the night, you might try going to a nap schedule, and make sure she gets up at the same time in the morning (if she isnt awake by 6:45, wake her up). Figure out 3 nap times - say 9:00, 1:00, an maybe a short evening nap around 4:00. Anyway, you figure out what works best for her at this point and just lay her down at that time. If she doesnt sleep after 20 mins or so, then just get her up and try again at the next time. Eventually she will get it. Alot of times a baby that is not getting enough sleep will fight sleep - that has been my experience with both watching other children and my two older children. If you can get her to take an evening nap, you might adjust her bedtime to a bit later (I am thinking no more than an hour if her schedule fits with yours). Anyway, just keep it up and she WILL eventually fall into a schedule of some sort. Hope things work out for you! ------------------ IP: Logged |
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snowbug Senior Member Posts: 86 |
posted 07-06-2003 11:07 PM
Also if you have a very busy household, consider quieting things down well in advance of when you want her to actually go to sleep. Some infants really get overstimulated by noise, tv blaring, phone ringing, dog barking, etc. and seem to take forever to settle down. May not apply in your case, but just another thought. IP: Logged |
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flesh_of_daisy Member Posts: 24 |
posted 07-21-2003 09:35 PM
From a side view, you look like the one starting an argument and if you really wanted good advise, you would want to try something new and not just the same routine that you placed as what your baby should go by. It seems your willing to try what you’ve all ready tried but nothing new. Another thing is that letting your baby cry it out is a bad motivational advise coming from advisors who say that babies will urine your life and manipulate you. Its called Detachment parenting. You cant place adult problems on small babies. Every thing that babies do are for survival and communication purposes. Detachment parenting teaches your baby not to trust, and it gives him an unstable environment, not knowing when and if you will pick him up if he/she cries. Some babies are more needy, the more needy the baby, the more supportive the mother, it has to do with temperaments. You cant forget that babies are humans with feelings and thoughts. They get frustrated, scared, happy also. Babies want security, sleeping with your baby is not a bad thing, I don’t care what any one says, it increased the bond between both of you and helps you to get to know the signs of your baby. Mothers who breastfeed get in sequence with their babies needs, they wake when the baby hungry before it begins to cry. Isn’t that amazing. Another thing is, how would you feel if you got put into a lonely bed before you wanted to with out any body warmth or security. Especially only 5 months after being use to having it all the time. I think you should put the baby to bed when you are tired and ready to go to bed and you should bring the baby with you into your bed. What could it hurt to try something new. It beats having to get up all the time thought the night and manipulating your baby to fall asleep. IP: Logged |
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~mandy~ Veteran Posts: 387 |
posted 07-22-2003 08:12 AM
just a thought...your baby is around the age where seperartion anxiety becomes an issue. I don't know exactly what is going on, but if rocking your baby to sleep is what she wants why not do it? Your baby is obviously not feeling secure enough right now to go to sleep on her own, so give her that little bit of reasurrance she needs to let herself fall asleep. I rocked all of my kids to sleep, and my first two had no problems when it was time to break that routine, my third is only 11months so i'm still going through it with her. IP: Logged |
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LiLnuTTy Senior Member Posts: 174 |
posted 07-22-2003 06:18 PM
I rock her to sleep every night...and I rock her to sleep for all her naps.
She still fights it pretty bad though....makes me feel HORRIBLE!! But I just keep rocking her until she finally gives in and falls asleep. Shes 6 mo old next week, and in the last few weeks Ive learned that shes VERY strong willed ( cant imagine where that came from...lol) So we just rock till we go to sleep. IP: Logged |
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LiLnuTTy Senior Member Posts: 174 |
posted 07-22-2003 06:24 PM
And please flesh_of_daisy, DONT EVER SUGGEST TO ME THAT IM DETATCHING MYSELF FROM MY DAUGHTER. I HAVE tried bringing her in bed with me and STILL do!! Oh, and another thing, just because you dont breastfeed your child doesnt mean you arent in tune with her. The reason my baby is even ALIVE is because I was in tune to her. And I automatically woke up every 2-3 hours when it was time for her to eat, and I DONT BREASTFEED. So please, dont make judegements. Do you even have a child of your own? IP: Logged |
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roni624 Senior Veteran Posts: 633 |
posted 07-22-2003 10:54 PM
Both my girls started sleeping in their own cribs at 6-8 weeks old. I had received a Kick N Play that attaches to their crib. I would place them in there and turn it on, then close the door.(We have camera monitors in their room.) We also use a regular table fan for white noise. My husband uses one to. I always put them to bed while they are still awake. They have gotten into the routine of it. The first few times they cried but now they just know that is the way it's suppose to be. They are currently 3 and almost 2 years old. IP: Logged |
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~mandy~ Veteran Posts: 387 |
posted 07-23-2003 08:03 AM
as your baby is getting older she requires less sleep...try keeping her up untill you see signs of her getting sleepy...not untill she's crying because she's so tired or anything, but maybe an extra 30 minuntes or so IP: Logged |
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LiLnuTTy Senior Member Posts: 174 |
posted 07-23-2003 08:48 AM
roni624 Thats a good idea, I was thinking about getting one of those for her, the way she kicks she would love it. I do turn on a fan, it sort of blocks out the noises out in the living room and everything else going on....... The last week or so, shes been falling asleep around 8pm. ( by that time im ready too!!!! lol) I just hold and rock her and she fusses and fights it, but she drops off around 8. Shes up from her nap around 3 at the latest, so, by 8 shes totally beat. 5 hours is a long haul for a little one. IP: Logged |
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