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  Kissing with Dentures please help

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Author Topic:   Kissing with Dentures please help | Page views:
julia55
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posted 06-10-2003 07:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for julia55     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

[This message has been edited by julia55 (edited 06-12-2003).]

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Yos
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posted 06-10-2003 08:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yos     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Julie,

I don't think it would be a good idea to take the chance of letting a fella find out you wear a denture in mid kiss. Some guys might not care but others just might freak out. While the former is preferred the latter may result in an unwanted "scene".

Most denture wearers let people know that they wear dentures on a need to know basis. It's my opinion that any person who becomes that close to you qualifies as a person who needs to know, more so if the relationship is the least bit serious.

Explain to your partner that a denture is a prosthetic device similar to those worn by people who have lost an arm or a leg. Also explain why you wear the denture. Your parnter should understand. If he doesn't, well, I don't think he'd be worth keeping.

In a good relationship the fact that you wear a denture shouldn't have a serious effect on it. If your partner can't accept that you wear a denture then I'm sure it will be his loss and not yours.

Yos

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Charmaine Resandt
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From:South Africa
Registered: Aug 2003

posted 08-22-2003 05:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Charmaine Resandt     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi

I haven't as yet been fitted for dentures as I am two months into the healing period. This is due to my having elected to wait the full four months after having had all my teeth extracted. I can however tell you that my husband has informed me that he thoroughly enjoys kissing me without the hindrance of any teeth. I have therefore decided that when I am fitted with dentures I will take them out during lovemaking as for some bizarre reason this is what my husband has said he would prefer.

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BigK7329
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From:Spring Hill
Registered: Apr 2003

posted 08-22-2003 02:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BigK7329     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
that's creepy..

i guess it's whatever floats your boat..

I personally would freak out, as it would feel like I were kissing my grandma..

Anyways, good luck over the next 4 months!!

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Charmaine Resandt
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From:South Africa
Registered: Aug 2003

posted 08-27-2003 08:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Charmaine Resandt     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Some people are completely repelled by the sight of toothlessness and I guess you are one of them. I am just deeply thankful to have a partner who has supported me through an extremely stressful and challenging period. He has not once made me feel like I am some freak or ugly in any way. Try and excercise a bit more diplomacy in your future postings and consider the sensitivies of people like myself that find themselves in a toothless state. I did not lose my teeth due to any neglect but was just one of the unfortunate few that has always been prone to dental problems. If the choice were mine and my teeth were healthy I would have preferred to have kept my natural teeth for life.

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BigK7329
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From:Spring Hill
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posted 08-27-2003 04:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BigK7329     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hrm, my post wasn't at all directed to toothlessness.

The comments, 'I can however tell you that my husband has informed me that he thoroughly enjoys kissing me without the hindrance of any teeth. I have therefore decided that when I am fitted with dentures I will take them out during lovemaking as for some bizarre reason this is what my husband has said he would prefer.'

You used the words bizarre. Not me. The way you stated it, you made it seem like a freaky fetish. Please believe me, i meant no disrespect.

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Charmaine Resandt
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From:South Africa
Registered: Aug 2003

posted 08-29-2003 04:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Charmaine Resandt     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks for clearing that. Nope it wasn't meant to imply some kind of denture fetish but rather a play on words on my end to describe the surprise I felt at my husband's reaction. I was really scared that he would be repelled by my toothlessness but was just deeply thankful that he was not as this helped me to overcome the insecurities I had in this regard. Your apology is accepted and from my end as well please accept mine for coming down on you so hard. The great news is that I go for my first impression on Tuesday so I am really excited at the prospect of getting my dentures soon. Do you wear dentures at all? Just curious as to why you are submitting to this site.

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dorkasaurus
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From:michigan
Registered: Aug 2003

posted 08-31-2003 01:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for dorkasaurus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Charmaine Resandt:
Thanks for clearing that. Nope it wasn't meant to imply some kind of denture fetish but rather a play on words on my end to describe the surprise I felt at my husband's reaction. I was really scared that he would be repelled by my toothlessness but was just deeply thankful that he was not as this helped me to overcome the insecurities I had in this regard. Your apology is accepted and from my end as well please accept mine for coming down on you so hard. The great news is that I go for my first impression on Tuesday so I am really excited at the prospect of getting my dentures soon. Do you wear dentures at all? Just curious as to why you are submitting to this site.

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dorkasaurus
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From:michigan
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posted 08-31-2003 01:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for dorkasaurus     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm sorry to hear about your dilemna. I am only 33 yrs old and have had to wear partials since I was 19. The partial was manageable but I have another unique quality, bone loss. Severely. So I traded the partial in for a denture whe I was 22. I have a very neat device as far as a piece of porcelain in your mouth can be. It's called a dolder bar. Its made of gold and it was implanted into my own teeth. It bridges across my own teeth few teeth that I managed to salvage. It serves as a sort of clip device. The over-denture then is fitted with the piece that the dolder bar snaps into. It is very secure. But still no picnic. I am facing a whole new dilemna now. In one of those salvaged teeth, I have an abcess at the root. Being there is an implant(the gold dolder bar)in that tooth, my dentist will have to go in with an apicoectomy. Uugh! I will have to go naked without the apparatus! I have the perfect man who loves me deeply and although we've never really talked about it, he would have to be blind and stupid after two years not to know that my teeth are fake. And he loves me anyway. But he's never had to see me without them. Its my bottoms teeth.I am scared to death to have this surgery done for what problems it might pose for the implant later on. But I think the most wrenching part is the embarrassment of my man seeing me this way! I know VANITY. In the minutely slim chance that there is anyone, doc or otherwise that may have heard of anything similar to this please respond. As well, feel free to inquire about the "dolder bar" its truly a blessing for anyone who is facing tooth loss and false teeth.

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jp123
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From:Redford,Mi
Registered: Jul 2003

posted 09-04-2003 12:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jp123     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi everyone maybe some of you can help. My husband 26 has just gotten his top denture, I did not think that I would have a problem with it, I feel bad for him and have been very supportive. But I have to admit I am scared to death of kissing him. I know this sounds horrible but I don't know what to expect. Is it different for those of you with dentures to kiss and stuff, or is it the same. I don't want to make my husband feel that I think he is weird or unattractive because that is not the case I just am very timid. So if any of you could let me know anything I'd appreciate it. Good luck and I;m glad your husband has been so supportive Charlmaine.

Jen

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Charmaine Resandt
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From:South Africa
Registered: Aug 2003

posted 09-04-2003 09:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Charmaine Resandt     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Guys

Some great news, I visited my dentist last week who said that my gums have healed really well and that I was ready for my first impressions. Well, I went in on Tuesday to have it done and was consumed by a fit of giggles. I could just picture myself with this mouthful of claylike gunk on this metal bed that resembled a deformed strainer. Well I tell you the poor dentist had a hard time of it trying to get me to be still so that he could get on with his job. Anyway, thought I'd fill you in with a lighter moment.

Dorkasaurus, really sorry to read about your plight. I truly hope that you'll find a solution to your dilemma. From one who has been toothless for more than two months, I think that if your partner really loves you, the sight of you without teeth will be minor in comparison to his feelings for you. As he hasn't seen you before this without teeth, I'm sure it will be a bit of a shock initially but he'll get over it. Think of it this way, at least you'll have nothing to hide after that.

Jen, I think you absolutely wonderful to be finding out all you can to support your hubby. I'm sure he must be quite anxious as to what your reaction will be with things like kissing him and adapting to his newly dentured state. Take things slowly and reassure him constantly. You may find that you both prefer kissing without the denture as I would imagine there would be quite a bit of movement there. Unfortunately I don't have my dentures yet so I am no expert in that department. Perhaps the other members could help you out on that one. I know that my husband really enjoys the sensation of kissing me without any teeth, but this is a personal preference. One that we intend following even when I do eventually get my dentures.

Keep us posted and let us know how things develop.
Cheers

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matchbox20fan
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posted 09-26-2003 10:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for matchbox20fan     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can't believe this board is here , I just found this site today .I am so unhappy with my dentist I was checking into legle action against her .
I started to write her a letter and I dont know if I
will really even send it to her .

Im afaid at this point I might just be a rambling fool,
and I know a I'm a hormonal mess (female 42), but Im
pretty upset ..

I was wondering if you folks will read this first
draft , Im might just ramble too much ...

Let me know what you think ...

///////////////////////////////////////////////
Dr.Fogle

So hard to believe that I set out to find the best dentist I could . I wasn't looking "cheap" work
,as I could have found that on the south side or across our close boarder into Mexico , where many Tucsonans go for "cheap" dental care .I set out to find a true professional and I was referred to your office . At
that time I let you know I was self employed , and
have no insurance but wanted some one better than average .

You took my case and my money , and I was happy to find someone to work with
. The first top denture went well after the healing time , even though this would not
stay in place without adhesive , not even for a moment .

The cost to me was 835.00 .


The first lower denture went well , but for my complaint that the lower gum line was to short.
(not where the gum meets the teeth, but the bottom of the gum ). This lower one too, will not
stay inplace without adhesive , not even for a moment .
I mention that they will not stay in place even for a moment without adhesive , because I believe they should fit a little better ...BUT with lots of adhesive I can keep them in and they dont hurt , and they do look quite ..... THANK YOU ! ...

The cost to me 1000.00 , even though I was told it would be the same as the top 835.00 .
But you charged 1000.00 ....

I do understand why these first dentures ,may not fit as tight as I would like , as the
molds were taken before you pulled the teeth , so there was not a smooth even surface to
take a good mold from , your lab for this first set did a fine job and so did you .....

I felt things went pretty well and you , your staff and your lab
proved to me you were a competent in your profession and gained my trust .

I had every reason to believe you/they would do at least as well on a second set .

The second set has not went as well , even though when the molds for the second set
were taken ,there was a smooth flat surface to take the molds (no teeth) , there has been problems .
The second top was the next one I paid for , nice to look at , but much too big and doesn't stay in well even with lots of adhesive , almost to big to speak when wearing it and eating anything while wearing is impossible , it is too big and too wide for me . , and I let you know ..

At that point we had started the second lower denture , and you told me lets not worry
about the 2nd upper right now and lets get through this one(2nd lower) right now .

There was some trouble with the second lower model , it didnt fit and seemed all wrong,
you offered me to have someone else take the mold , and I said no thanks as Im embarrassed
enough without having to let someone else see me . So Elizabeth took another mold , I sat
in that chair for over four hours , it seemed you /she decided to punish me , for wanting service. The other molds I had done only kept me in your office for about 30 minutes total .

The second lower " model" came in , and I came in to see it and try it on , I told Elizabeth it
was great , no changes should be made by the lab , and to have it made .I said that anything
that would need to be done so it would feel good could be done by you when the denture would come back , as it really was that good .The "model" was great and I left your office feeling that I was going to get something nice and would feel good too .

When the denture(2 lower) came in , I went to your office to pick it up ..
The name I saw on the little water filled bag that held the denture had the name Salazer ,
my name Salzer . That was the first thing I asked about , and was told these are in fact for me,
even though the spelling was wrong ..

This was NOT from the same model I had seen , this was so poorly done and it didn't fit at all .I ASKED "ARE YOU SURE this are for me ? ,the lab MUST have made a mistake , this is awful !!

I left without the denture , it just couldn't be mine .

YOUR office called my home and said you would take care of this .
You had me come in and tried to make this same denture to fit my mouth , I keep telling
you it hurts as the bottom of the "gum " was cutting into my mouth , sharp and painfully .
You kept saying "I dont want to take too much away , it fits so well" . I told you even after
you ground some away "it still hurts and the bottom gum is too long and cutting into my mouth"
and it does NOT fit well at all , I still think this denture couldn't be mine , and if it really
is , then it's an awful poorly made product .

You walked out saying "I think you should just go home and try it out " even though I could
feel it was still too long and hurting and just plain wrong, I could not understand why you just wouldn't take care of it right there and then .

I had asked Elizabeth if we couldn't do something to make this right , and she said I could
take this denture to someone else , but they probely couldn't use it for anything .
It was made very clear that you didn't want me to come back , so I didn't call for weeks .

After getting some advice , I was told " this dentist should be giving a chance to
make this right with you as most people would welcome an opportunity to right a wrong , everyone deserves that chance " .

So I built up my nerve , and decided that I would call and beg (yes beg ! ) for you to
please help and grind the bottom of this denture down , even though I still feel the lab did a shabby job as the teeth are not even nice to look at and I still think they were not really even made for me but someone else , if you could only make them fit and not cut into my mouth ,they would work for an emergency only.(what part of a day would you not want to have teeth in your mouth?) .But I can't even wear it for 5 minutes , the pain is too much.

You had Elizabeth call me to say " no " you will not help me , and I should go somewhere else !!

I paid you up front for all my services , I don't have insurance so the thousands (yes thousands)of dollars I gave you came out of my own pockets , Im still paying on the credit card for these , and I can't even wear them (2nd top - 2nd bottom ) .

I have found that I do have options against you if I choose to pursue , that I could get at the
very least 3 times the amount that I spent with you plus monies for "other compensatory and punitive damages " and if nothing else your malpractice insurance would go up considerably ...

Your lack of compassion , professional or other wise is very alarming and very sad as most
people have compassion for others , for free .

I realize now that your price for your services does not include compassion and I know
now not to expect compassion from someone who is just doing their job for money.

You have the power and knowledge to help others , to make a huge difference in how they
feel about themselves or to give a comfort level that can make their life a little nicer and easier .

I shared with you some of my problems and fears , and you told of your wonderful vacations ,
that you would always just be coming back from , the clothes you bought for you next trip or
how you were redoing your home , how you were redoing your office and about the new
bird you bought and that your husband said "no more " ,and you kept that bird at your office ..

What was hard for me is all I wanted was to have was teeth that looked ok and wouldn't cut
into my mouth .But instead of hearing what I was saying ,you would go on about all these
wonderfull things you have and the places you've been and a bird that cost more than the
teeth you were trying to fit into my mouth . ...This was very hard to take , as I work for myself
and we have very little money to work with .I'm just trying to have teeth in my mouth .

I guess maybe I should have found a dentist from my own class (people who can't afford to take trips , have their home (ranch) redone , and people who would never pay 1500 .00 for a bird to look at .

I looked forward my whole life to have teeth and a smile that would look normal .I decided
that this was something I would find a way to achive in my life .I have the best husband and children ever , as they gave up many things to help me achive this , so I could pay you thousands of dollars to help me .

So not only am I hurt by your lack of service , my husband and children are without
what they had so hoped for me , a comfortable happy person who can feel good about herself .
Lisa my boys asked "what if we pay another dentist and they take our money and won't
help you either ?? "This is a real fear in our lives ,and what a shame that you put this fear into them and my husband and myself .There a four people here that this effects ,not just me .

I do feel a refund is in order (500 each =1000.00), I think the lab that made up the 2nd set of dentures put
out a poor product , and I'm sorry to say this " but if you were not talking so much about
all the great things in your life that money affords you , maybe you would of heard what
I was saying " and I would have what I really needed and paid for - normal looking and wearable teeth .

Have you really ever thought about what it's like to wear dentures ?
Let me share some things with you ::

imagine:: never to passionately kiss your husband again,
because I have a mouth full of plastic , and he does not .
(I really miss this more than anything)

imagine :: always feeling like you have too much
bubble gum in your mouth , try having too much
(3-4 pieces) gum in your mouth for a few hours , you will
get some idea of what it's like for denture wearers .

imagine :: it's hot outside 85 degrees or hotter , and
your denture adhesive "melts" with the heat outdoors,
and your dentures are falling out ,just because the
adhesive "melts" with the heat

Imagine :: your eating any very hot food or
soup , or drinking hot coffee or tea , and your
adhesive melts a few minutes into the meal
and you can't eat anymore ,because your dentures are now
so loose , they will just fall out if you open your mouth .

imagine :: never again eating most foods / candys
meats - apples ,even a sandwich is a nightmare

imagine :: not going on any carnival or fair ride
with your children , as your dentures will fly out
of your mouth .
/////////////////////////////////////

well folks thats how far I got , Im sure I will edit
it over and over , and check on my spelling .

What do you think ???

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME VENT MY ANGER ..

I think I feel better all ready ..

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Yos
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Posts: 100
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Registered: May 2003

posted 09-27-2003 12:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yos     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Matchbox20fan,

I'm really sorry to hear about your problems with the dentist. Your letter reads more like sadness and disappointment than anger although I'm sure the anger is there. I'm more of a "lay out the facts" kind of person when it comes to dispute resolutions but I'm sure your letter will get the attention of the dentist. The only thing I would add is a clear statement somewhere in the letter showing items, exact amounts and a total. If you're asking for something back you have to tell them exactly what it is that you want. Having said that, I'm not sure if the amounts will be large enough to justify hiring a lawyer. You'll probably end up in small claims court. If you do go to court I would suggest you see another dentist who will examine the dentures and fit to testify that they are of poor workmanship.

When you see another dentist you may be able to reduce your cost somewhat if the dentures that don't fit now can be made to fit somehow. One of the sets you have now may be able to be shaved down in areas that need to be reduced and relined in the areas that need to be filled. Another option you have is a rebase. Essentially, the teeth of the dentures that don't fit can be put in a new denture base. Either method will at least save you some money.

It's unfortunate that there are dentists who take advantage of their patients or don't have their patients best interest in mind. I hope that you'll be able to resolve these problems soon.

Yos

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