posted 03-16-2003 08:46 PM            

Do not stop going to family events until you have clearly communicated what is bothering you and your mother-in-law still refuses to change.

I assume a “mother suck” is a negative thing?
I am not sure what this means? Is it like mommy’s boy? Is it a reference to breast-feeding?

At this time in your life, you need to be able to pull strength from a supportive relationship from your mother-in-law. It is too bad that she can not help instead of hurt.

She can offer an opinion, but you are the mother.

If you are unsure of a response ask your doctor. I think it sounds natural or at least normal that a baby is going to be soothed more by its mother then by others. That is a very special bond and relationship. But a doctor could probably word it better? Or say if there is a problem.

posted 03-16-2003 08:51 PM            

Does anyone have any background on how she was with her own babies? It sounds like she may not have bonded very well with her own and that would explain why she is totally amazed (and probably a little jealous) that everything is coming so naturally to you.

posted 03-16-2003 10:21 PM            

snowbug- she was a young mother and probably is jealous. when she came to see me in the delivery room she gave me dirty looks. How rude is that?? I spoke to my husband and he is going to talk to her tomorrow. I cannot take this.

posted 03-17-2003 03:32 PM            

If you choose to approach her at all; what you say and how you handle it depends on many factors. How you feel about confrontation for starters. Don't go in w/out confidence. You don't have to go in on the attack either. Maybe next time she makes a comment flat out simply say "I'm sorry but your comments are neither appreciated nor will they be tolerated. You are entitled to your opinion on how I raise my daughter but you will bear in mind she is my daughter and respect how I raise her. If you cannot respect my feelings and keep comments such as that to yourself you may not continue to see your grandchild. I care about you and think you are a great person, but again, your comments are unkind, not necessary, and won't be tolerated". It's just a suggestion on how you can handle the situation if you felt you wanted to approach her at all. Once you've said that though; I'd let it go. Say your peace and move on. Mother in-laws can be touchy. Some are flat out vendictive and nasty and some are annoying but only mean the best! they soon have forgotten how they felt w/ their first born and their mother in-law and probably don't even realize they are not doing the same. Course...only you know which side your "MIL" falls on!

All in all be the bigger person here. Don't let her comments ruin your good time. Like I said. If you choose to say anything...make it short and to the point and be adult about it. Don't let her think she has the upper hand or any sort of emotional power over you. Then it definetly won't stop. Again. You don't have to be mean or hateful in how you handle it...show her you are above that. And then...move on to the rest of the family in the room and continue to enjoy yourself. Right now you are letting her childish comments ruin what is one of the best times in your life. Don't give her that power!

posted 03-18-2003 09:38 AM            

I love the fact that I can comfort my son. That's what mommy's are for, comfort, knowledge, and love. I give him all of those everyday. If he always clings to me, so what. At least he will have a good role model.

posted 03-19-2003 02:47 AM            

sorry, she is tryihg to overcome her mothering mistakes through you, but thats HER PROBLEM.