posted 06-09-2003 06:43 PM            

Like I said, my ex is black and we were together for years. Some of my family liked him, but most did not. With many of them, it wasn't the color of his skin that bothered them, it was the way he treated me. He was very abusive and lied and cheated all through our relationship. BUT, for some, the problem was because he's black. My mom (legal guardian) thought nothing of it but my dad (legal guardian) hated it, which led to fights between them, and ultimately a divorce. I had my daughter and I broke up with her dad for good when she was 12 months old. My father did not speak to me for years, until the day before I moved away. He finally told me he regretted what he did and now we are very close and he loves my daughter, no matter what her skin color is.

In my family, you were raised to date your color only, which is wrong. I went against them and did what I wanted to. I never saw color, but I lost a lot. My favorite uncle has not spoken to me in 10 years. Some people simply can't change. In my case, I knew there was hidden disapproval, no matter what they said.

Now I've grown up and I'm married to a white man and have 2 white children, along with my mixed daughter. My husband works with a few guys who are very racist and they always ask him how he could be with me since I was with "one of them". That disgusts me but I've learned to never let anyone see it bother me. I can only imagine what my daughter will have to go through when she gets older.

posted 06-10-2003 10:51 AM            

I personally wouldn't date someone outside my race. Im not racist, prejudice etc.. believe me i know what its like to be racially abused plus i have friends of different races and i have white in my family, but b/c of my own experience and how other races have treated me. Don't get me wrong i have come across some lovely white people, but as far as relationship...probably not

I hope i didn't offend anyone, b/c that's not my intention and sissywoman, you shouldn't care what anybody thinks b/c it's not about what makes other people happy its about YOU! and if you really love this guy you'd be with him regardless of what others think

~*K*~

posted 06-10-2003 06:28 PM            

I'm wondering what you mean about "jokes" and how you "handle" them. You should never tolerate racial jokes or slurs. It's a form of racism even if it seems harmless. If you had a bi-racial child would you tolerate that kind of behavior towards or around them?

Being in a bi-racial relationship is what you make of it. If you're not comfortable with it you can't expect anyone else to be. For me, I am simply in a relationship....period. I do not think of it in terms of color and don't hang out with people who see it that way. That goes for the friends of both of us, as racism can run both ways.

posted 06-11-2003 11:20 PM            

When I go out with the guy I am dating right now, I find that the only people looking at us are.. asians. It really amuses us because they blantantly stare at us.

At first his parents were against seeing me and I think he told them we were just friends and that we would never be involved seriously... I felt real sad when he told me that but I hid my face of dissapointment in front of me.

Many times I felt hurt because all the guys I date think of me as a trophy because asian girls are hard to get for white guys since we tend to date people of our own race and country.

posted 06-12-2003 01:25 PM            

I'm white and my wife is mixed (black and white). We have 2 kids that both pretty much look white. You would have to have a pretty good eye to tell otherwise. I think the area you live in and the cultural exposure of the people you surround yourself with makes a difference. We never notice any comments, looks or even a general sense of someones disapproval.
However if I did I wouldn't care. My wife is a little more sensitive, but I could care less. If someone were to express their disapproval, then they would not only be expressing an opinion I never asked for but expressing their ignorance and lack of exposure to the world around them anyway. They might as well announce all their fears and weaknesses.

posted 06-25-2003 09:42 AM            

my first real grlfriend was black/puerto rican/indian..
in that relationship my family didn't have any tension about it.. just alot of questions..

my second grlfriend and most current grlfriend is white/chinese..
i imagine she looks purely chinese to the untrained eye but my family has no problems.. in fact they're in love with her as much as me..

and i live in northern maine where it's almost completely white..
thankfully diversity is slowly (very slowly) making its way into the northern part of the state..

posted 06-25-2003 10:28 AM            

"At the heart of racism is the assertion that God made a creative mistake when He brought some people into being." -Friedrich Otto Hertz