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Posted by Ira on January 16, 2000 at 14:55:21:

In Reply to: Re: ADULT NEEDS HELP posted by mel on January 16, 2000 at 10:18:51:

I am not a single mom although we do have three children and I am a dad over 50 with children all 11 and under. I can imagine that just being a single parent can get one really down. It is challenging. Give yourself a pat on the back. A friend of mine described his need for a large house as an adult. In that description he described his single mom with four kids and a full time teaching job and no money from the distant dad. She lived a life not at all unlike you described and she made it, and her kids turned out well. Her kids understood at some level the tremendous effort that it took to raise them.
I am likely ADD, as I am learning in the efforts to get one of our sons the proper help. I learned years ago that I usually had a list so long of things that I both had and wanted to do that I would wake up overwhelmed and often not so friendly. I experienced levels of limited tolerance as well. I don’t’ do those lists anymore.
I am looking at treatments. We have been to see several experts and just recently found one that seems to take a close look and is keen to the leading edge treatments. Now I realize that there exists the possibility that they say what it is that I want to hear, but I seem to be able to delve deeper and get technical answers that satisfy me.
Knowing what is going on is the first step to improvement. I am getting better results having gone back to drinking coffee a few times a day. However I feel that it is not the answer and that some level of drugs (I just seem to hate the concept!) as well as alternative methods mixed in might get some results. The Dr. prescribed pycnagenol (spelling?) with fish oil capsules (you can get it all at Costco!). I am also meeting with a Dr. who does neuro-biofeedback. And finally we are now giving our son some Welbutrin, which is a low-level antidepressant. This boy is a champ at understanding what we are doing and is so desirous of working through the problem that it brings tears to my eyes. We have been looking at his sleeping situation and even his breathing at night. I am a believer, as a result of the chemistry work that I do, that minute changes can have a beneficial effect. We are looking at blood chemistry and have discovered that he likely doesn’t drink enough water during the school day, which results in higher levels of certain elements in his blood. We are going to work on an improved diet as well, although we believe that we have a generally acceptable 20th century diet, with room for improvement
So, you can do lots of things, if you have the time. And you can give yourself another pat on the back. How many people can juggle a caseload like you probably have, children, and a household? Maybe you are an overachiever and you could look at lowering your expectations for a moment. Contrast yourself to another possibly ADD person who has dropped out of society. Pat yourself on the back. Work on the issues but keep in mind that the symptoms that you exhibit can come from a variety of sources and manifest in what is a large black hole called ADD or ADHD. Would it be nice if you could correct one contributor to how you are feeling and diminish the problematic side of your situation a bit? And one last thought, if you are doing criminal work, how many of the defendants are really ADHD people who have never received treatment or even a diagnosis?
And just one more thing, have your found a get organized book for ADD or ADHD people? Wouldn’t that be nice!

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