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Posted by Nancy on February 14, 2000 at 13:43:47:

In Reply to: Re: ADD posted by Sarah on February 01, 2000 at 15:20:20:

Dear Desperate:

I know what you are going through. I have ADD and so does my son. ADD is not a condition
you choose to have or one you can control my yourself. If you have ever seen a hamster in
in a cage going around and around on the wheel that is what a person with ADD's mind does.
It if very difficult to stay focus or finish a task without your mind wandering to other things.
Outside stimulation is very to control or even block out. The medication helps to focus and
is not addicting. I use Adderall. It is a tapering drug, not one that just drops off when the
medication wears off. I have used Adderall and Ritalin, I like Adderall better.

Let God strengthen you and give you support and understanding towards your daughter, she
really needs that. Assure her that you love her unconditionally and will always be there. She
will not be young but once. If the Doctor recommends a drug, please be more receptive towards
it and do not elect not to give your daughter this because of the stigma attached to it.

I have learned that if you can associate learning with something I like I understand and can
remember it better and longer. Repution is another way of learning. Make it fun and not a
stressful time of day. Remember she can not help nor does she elect not to learn or understand.

I wish you the best.

: : I am desperate for advice. I am taking my 8 almost 9 year old daugther to Kansas University Medical
: : Center for testing. I know she is ADD. I do not want to give her medication. Is there anything else I can
: : do? I have a 4 year old son with Autism, that has done great w/ a GF/CF diet and supplements.
: : I love my daughter so much. She cries all the time and ask me: Mom, why am I stupid, why can't I be
: : popular, Why don't I have a best friend, why is school so hard, why can't I do anything good and Mom
: : will you promise that you will always be there for me because all I have is you? She is breaking my heart
: : and I don't know where to turn. I know alot of people take medication but I do not want to do this. I have
: : talked to the school and begged for help and all they said is give her medication. She is not hyper but
: : cannot focus, daydreams, no self esteem, very disorganized and is doing terrible in school. She is
: : getting an A in spelling, B in reading (she can read well but if I ask her to tell me what she just
: : ready, she doesn't have a clue) and D's in everything else. I try to work with her with her on her
: : school papers she brings home but she just doesn't get it. We worked on a paper last night with 10
: : problems regarding telling time . She really does not get it. Math and time are alot alike and she just
: : d
: esn't get it. She went to bed crying and holding her head saying "what is wrong with
: : me and why am I so stupid"? It was so hard to go to work today because I just wanted to stay home
: : with her and tell her how much I love her. I wish I could just quit work and home school her but I am the
: : primary insurance person for our family. My husband works 6 days a week and only gets Sunday's
: : off. I have asked for help from everyone (her school, counselors, doctor, my sons speech therapist, family,
: : friends, my husband) and know one seems to have time to help. I am ready to admit myself in a hospital
: : because I am going crazy. My children are my life and I am such a failure as her mother because I cannot
: : help her. I work full time, work with my son (autism) all the time, try to work with my daughter, sale avon
: : for extra money, help with my daughter girl scout troop and do mostly all the house work (laundry,
: : cleaning, shopping etc.) and I can't do it anymore. Sometimes I think she would be better off with
: : someone else who can help her more but I love her so much that I don't what I would do if I did not have
: : her in my life. My husband is all talk he just says he will help and never does nothing. I do not want to
: : fight with him anymore because he will never change. He does love his kids but has not energy to do
: : anything except work. I pray every night for the strength to keeping because I am getting so weak and
: : am hitting all dead ends. Without my children I have no life but right now with me they have no life. What
: : do I do?

: : Kat

: I really feel for your predicament. I can`t help you with your decision to treat but I will be praying for you. When I was a little girl I struggled a lot with self esteem. I can tell you one thing that really helped me was being involved in church. I had a couple ladies in their 40s or 50s that acted as a mentor to me. Took me out to lunch or invited me to dinner with the rest of their family. Or to their children`s games. Do you know of any mom`s maybe slightly older who would be willing to love your child and take on this role. Even once a month may booster her self esteem and take some burden off you. You can only stretch so far..

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