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Posted by Matthew Douglas on March 01, 2000 at 22:56:27:

In Reply to: My husband is frustrated :o( posted by ADD wife on March 01, 2000 at 15:40:40:

First off, try easing up on those monstrous hours. 65 hours a week is a ton of hours no matter what kind of job it is.
I can relate because I have done the same things to my wife (tardy bill payments, dishes piling up, my dirty clothes everywhere). She was becoming increasingly upset so I looked for psychiatric help. He said, "ADHD" and the rest is history.
I used to work about 55 hours per week in food service management ... being on my feet 100% of the time, I was dead-tired and unhelpful at home.
On anti-depressants, I was really no better since they made me sleepy all day long. I'm on ADD medicine now and the energy level is beyond what I thought possible.
I now attack dishes before they get dirty, pick up my wife's dirty clothes, and pay bills weeks before they're due. I'm also eating less. One tradeoff is my new habit of becoming easily annoyed and angry with silly situations. I'm working on it.
Maybe you should go to your doctor and pursue becoming medicated for ADD. It helped me, and I'm sure my wife is thrilled.
Take care, Matthew Douglas

: Hi everyone,
: I just received a call from my husband. He's been pretty down lately so I asked him what's wrong. He said he is very burned out by having to take on the responsibilities that I have neglected (bills, laundry, house-cleaning, etc.). I know I have much to work on in these areas, but I don't know HOW. He said he's feeling very stressed and he doesn't know how much more he can handle. I don't want to lose him as he has been my strength. I know my request sounds ridiculous. You're probably thinking "Just get your butt off the couch and pick up a little. How hard could it be?!" For some reason I just find it so difficult. I work 65 hours a week and have other health problems that cause me to be constantly tired. By the time I get home every day I'm exhausted and head off to bed. I'm not currently medicated (other than antidepressants). Would ADD meds help my issue?? Any suggestions as to how I can lighten my husbands load? I love him very much and it hurts me to think that I am the reason behind his sadness. Any and all suggestions appreciated. Thanks so much!

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