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Posted by d.c on August 31, 2000 at 07:42:58:

In Reply to: Re: advice please. Wife hit bottom? posted by Victoria on August 31, 2000 at 01:53:34:

: : Hello all

: : I've read so many messages that my eyes are about to cross and I think this board can help me.

: : My wife has hit bottom today (i think) she has been drinking for quite a while and progressively has gotten worse. For the last six months or so things have got'n way out of control. I detached from the situation where I could cope and continue to make a living. I hired a nanny for our two boys 8&4 just to make sure they were looked after. Anyway back to helping my wife, She has been sick for 2 days now. throwing up, sleeping, throwing up, not eating. When I got her to talk to me she said she wanted help. I beleive her this time. When I asked how much or what she drinks she would not tell me anything but a lot.
: : When I asked her if she was taking any pills, to my surprise she says " xannex" "prozac" and some pain killers. I know I haven't been a very good husband to her but It's not easy dealing with someone who drinks and thinks everybody around is such a dumbass that they don't know youv'e been drinking. Onward, She would not let me call our doctor for help. she does not want the whole town to know about her little problem. I thought I would come on-line tonight and see if I could dig something up.

: : What do i do?
: : Can I handle this myself?
: : Can I handle it at home?

: : Another question ? Why in the world would our doctor prescribe those medications for my wife. Some of them she has been taking over two years.

reading your e-mail reminded me so much of my self that I had to you think of yourself as an addict? I realize I am,but for noe i like to call myself a functioning addict(I know deniel is a killer) it works for me today. Who knows what will happen tommorow. Richard , all the sleeping, and throwing up sound to me as if your wife is trying to kick all on here own. I sincerly hope everything works out for you. You sound like a stand-up guy, maybe if my husband took and active interest in my recovery i would be in a better spot right now. IF YOU LOVE HER DO WHAT IT TAKES TO HELP HER!!!
: : thanks in advance
: : richard

: Dear Richard,

: Wow. No, you cannot handle it yourself. No, you can't handle it at home.....

: Why did the doc prescribe such meds? I don't know. I have a psychiatrist. I have a little problem with marijuana. I lie to him, and tell him that I'm not smoking, so he won't take me off my meds. (Zoloft, Ativan, Prosom). He said a good psychiatrist won't treat an underlying disorder (alcoholism, addiction), with meds, even if someone is depressed. What worries me the most though, is the DEADLY combo of alcohol and drugs. You can't smoke a joint, take a Xanax, and die. You WILL die if you mix Xanax, Prozac, and pain-killers. Why is she on pain meds???? Knowing you have two children to worry about, I can only suggest to you, as a mom myself to you, a father; that you get her ADMITTED into a facility as soon as you can. I don't know what kind of insurance you have, but I know most insurances cover in-patient addiction recovery. If you don't take this step for her, she could die. It sounds like she's trying to get your attention, a cry for help. I've done some stupid things to get my husband's attention when I've been very depressed. I know what one will do when they feel desperate. She's desperate, Richard. No one has to know where she is. Your kids are little enough still, that a little white lie would do them better than the truth, maybe? Maybe she suddenly had an aunt in another state that needed some help for a month or so. You know what I mean? There are ways of keeping her addiction and recovery private. Maybe you could also go to Al-Anon, a support group for families of alcoholics...... But, seriously consider having her admitted somewhere, soon. She's sad enough, that she is playing a very dangerous game with her life. PLEASE post on the board again, and let me know how it's going. Much, much luck to the two of you getting through this.

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