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Posted by Vicki on September 02, 2000 at 08:07:40:

In Reply to: advice please. Wife hit bottom? posted by richard on August 31, 2000 at 00:11:33:

: Hello all

: I've read so many messages that my eyes are about to cross and I think this board can help me.

: My wife has hit bottom today (i think) she has been drinking for quite a while and progressively has gotten worse. For the last six months or so things have got'n way out of control. I detached from the situation where I could cope and continue to make a living. I hired a nanny for our two boys 8&4 just to make sure they were looked after. Anyway back to helping my wife, She has been sick for 2 days now. throwing up, sleeping, throwing up, not eating. When I got her to talk to me she said she wanted help. I beleive her this time. When I asked how much or what she drinks she would not tell me anything but a lot.
: When I asked her if she was taking any pills, to my surprise she says " xannex" "prozac" and some pain killers. I know I haven't been a very good husband to her but It's not easy dealing with someone who drinks and thinks everybody around is such a dumbass that they don't know youv'e been drinking. Onward, She would not let me call our doctor for help. she does not want the whole town to know about her little problem. I thought I would come on-line tonight and see if I could dig something up.

: What do i do?
: Can I handle this myself?
: Can I handle it at home?

: Another question ? Why in the world would our doctor prescribe those medications for my wife. Some of them she has been taking over two years.

: thanks in advance
: richard

Hello Richard... My name is Vicki, and I hope that by writing I will be able to help you in some way? I am 33 years old, 14 years sober and the mother of two boys ages 10 1/2 and 8.I am also a"member" to use the term lightly of Alcoholic's Anonymous by choice for those last 14 yrs.
You know ..this disease is so cunning and painful to all it encompasses. You the children and especially your wife. I understand living in a small community and all of that but at what price? Your wife needs help. She needs professional help. Why I say this is because of the meds especially. You don't want her coming off of the meds and throwing herself into seizures etc... She needs to be detoxed. There are amny professional private sector Alcoholism Treatment Centers. They are generally 30 day programs that involve the family as well as the Alcoholic. They are clean well ran facilities. Alcoholic's are no longer confined to the old idea of the brown bag living under a bridge bottom of the line idea. Society is pretty well in check with it's either you or I ? I'm not kidding here. And Richard she is not the only one here you need help too and by getting her help you will be helping yourself. She could die of an alcohol/drug overdose the kids could find her. I'm sure you have things you need help with emotionally with since she has changed with the progression of the disease. She is not who you married entirely. The children are missing out on their Mommy etc..So is it being kept so in the closet so great? You all need help!It's taken alot to get here and will take alot of love and patience to get to the other side but will be worth it. But you have to take those first few steps. Take care and good Luck Vicki

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