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Posted by john on November 08, 2000 at 21:40:40:

In Reply to: Re: pot addiction again posted by john shea on November 08, 2000 at 21:26:35:

: : Thanks to all who posted to my previous post. I really was angry earlier, however, now I am sad. It has been this way for years. First trying to find a solution to my husband's pot addiction,then being sad because I know there isn't anything that I can do, and then kinda just ignoring it till the next time. Here it is almost one o'clock in the morning and my darling husband is sound asleep because he had his joint before bed and where am I? Sitting at a computer crying my eyes out for the millionth time because I am sexually frustrated and know he will never quit smoking. I originally found this board because he told me this week (for the 100th time) that he was going to quit smoking. And for the 100th time, I believed him. At this point, I get as mad at myself as I do at him. Supposedly it really bothers him that our daughter is upset about his pot smoking and he wants to quit. However, when I mentioned that I had found this board and suggested he talk to someone who has been there he flipped out. He said that he didn't want to talk to anyone about it, that it really isn't something he wants to do, but something that he has to do. Well when he said that, I knew that this was just more of the same BS as always. I went back and read some more of the posts and came across a few that really struck a nerve. He loves pot more than me, and he will never quit unless he WANTS to. I've tried everything from threatening to leaving to kicking him out to just accepting it. Surprise...nothings changed. Guess it is time to move on.
The questoins you ask are valid of the fustrations that you are going through.Your husband will not change, he is dependent on smoking pot,the feeling is that he doesnt truley have a problem. He has a bad HABIT that rules his mind. What it will take is for you to come to grips with the fact that you are not going to change him. If he is unwilling, point proved over and over, it is time for you to move on. Once you are gone he might come around and the cloud in his brain might clear. You have to understand the resentment he will have on you for making him quit.....if he is coaxed into quitting..are his friends advid smokers too? I bet they are, another cycle to break.....he has to love it enough to leave it.And he doesnt want to,then you have to be selfish and move on....

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