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Posted by LTITWRK on December 05, 1999 at 16:49:36:

In Reply to: Re: I REALLY need someone to talk to... posted by matt on October 25, 1999 at 19:22:19:

: I hope you have got someone to talk to about what is on your mind. I will keep checking to see, and if not we could talk. I kinda feel the same way I live a surface kind of life and things tend to be much deeper than that. I am a good listener.. If you are still looking just post a reply and we can talk..

: : ThI am a 42 yr old female whom someone else might look at and say "look at how lucky she is, she's pretty, doesnt look her age, has 4 beautiful kids, (one who's out on her own.) Runs a business with her husband (he's really my ex-husband), has a nice house, goes to church,etc. But...obviously if I'm on this board, then my lovely life is totally surface. I really need someone that can relate to anything familiar here and I need so desparatly to talk to someone about "stuff". I've never done anything like this before but I'm just really alone right now (inside) and just want (need) God to send someone to listen and that I will listen back. If you feel that this is you, maybe we can e-mail each other. (I must be desparate, I'm on the computer at work and anyone could find this) Anyway, have a blessed day. (someone told me that, yesterday, and it sounded so nice) Later...Thank you sounds like you are feeling desperate but very willing since you put your request for support in this medium. Do you have a Sponsor and if so, do you see and or talk to her often? What about working your steps....what step are you on...looks today like Step 1...that is a good beginning. Life will give us curve balls from time to is just what we do with how we feel about them that matters. You are doing a positive thing by reaching out. Feeling alone inside while presenting on the outside as though all is self betrayal. Sometimes that is the only way we know how to do it because it is so frightening to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is a great sign of strength...and you are showing great strength in putting this out there. I am well today, feeling good about being in my own skin today. What has helped me has been to get to know who I am so I don't have to pretend to be something else. I have realized that the most difficult relationship I will ever have in my life is the relationship with myself. Self acceptance is the answer for me. I don't expect myself to be something I am not or to feel any way other that what I feel like today which is good enough. How about the gratitude list that helps one get through the blue moments of self doubt. What about breathing in slowly the love of the universe and exhaling slowly the fear and doubt of the unknown. It was good to read your message and yet I hope that something here will be helpful just for today...if tomorrow comes...then we can decide what to do with tomorrow's time. In today's time I choose to know that things are good enough for today....Stay close to the light of life so the rest of us can see you and be there for you.

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