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Posted by Pat G. on October 25, 2000 at 17:42:54:

In Reply to: Thank you posted by Raven on October 24, 2000 at 15:03:36:

: Hi Pat,
: Thanks for responding. Even though I wish you didn't have pain, I am glad I found someone who does because you understand. I take Davocet N-100 4 times a day and Relafen 500 mg twice a day, but it just doesn't help much. I feel almost hyper when I take the Davocet but the pain is still there. The Relafen makes me sick to my stomach most of the time. My poor daughter(age 6) just has to live with a "out of control mom" I just don't have zest for life anymore and it confuses her. I scream, cry, complain and beg for help but its like my husband and 22 yr old daughter have no care/love for me. They will do a few things but I have to cry and beg to get them to do the simple things I can't. My dishes are piled up and the floor is a mess but all my oldest daughter does is sleep and if I get on her she gets up and leaves. I almost want to kick her out but her father says No! My Osteo is also in my right hip/lower back, SI area too. And I think that they think, because I have complained for so long yet worked and took care of everyone that I can still do it. I tell them that without my hands I can't do anything and then my knee started to hurt and lock up and they probably thought I was faking or something, to get them to do everything. But regardless nothing works. In this state, VA. It seems like the Doctors don't like to give out stronger pain pills. Most of the time the Doctors just say to take Advil. Man if they only could feel the pain I am in. I just don't know what to do. Thanks for writing and please keep in touch. I hope things get better for you as well. Hugs, Raven(Deb)
Dear Raven:
I am a worker; always have been. When I got this horrible back problem, I did and felt and went through all your emotions and problems. It was pretty poor when my hubby, my 2 healthy boys (in their teens) would lay around while this screwed up woman worked her butt off to serve these people their meals. There they would be, all lying around, watching football, as mom suffered agony through dinner. I'd cry, scream, complain and no one cared; no one listened, mom is just a freakout. Finally, one day, I sat down calmly with my husband and I said, "David, you know all our married lives I worked hard to provide for this family; in the home, out of the home, I worked. I never pushed my work on anyone, have I? I thrive on work. You know that. BUT now I have a back condition; it hurts. I suffer through meals, and it is killing me." Then, rather than yelling, I would just ask him, "Dave, would you please cut up the potatoes, and I'd bring him the needed stuff to do it, and he would." You see, men and kids get into a rut of just watching and depending on you to do it. I found when I screamed, I was just ignored and as they said, "freaking out." If you name the job and ask well before you get upset, than they KNOW what you need done. I am just telling you what I did. Also, I found I'd get upset if I tried to do too much. I constantly have to hold myself back from doing too much, but you have to. Don't wait til the end of the day to do all the dinner. Perhaps you can do the salad earlier in the day. I know some dinners take preparation all at once. If you have a hard dinner, start at 4:00 for example. I told myself, I will lie down at 3:30 to re-energize before the dreaded dinner. If you have a young child that naps, try to get some rest while she/he naps. I have to go babysit my granddaughter now. Raven, I have so much more I'd like to tell you, about my life, what I've been through. You sound so much like me with all the frustrations. I could write you a book. Please feel free to vent. I DO understand. Take care of yourself and so what if the house is a mess. Pat G. P.S. I never could take relafin; gave me a gut ache. You do need stronger meds. I can try to help you there to, hopefully in my next post.

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