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Posted by Maria (Bos) on October 29, 2000 at 07:46:41:

In Reply to: To Maria (Bos) posted by Stewart on October 29, 2000 at 05:53:52:

I'm okay Stewart. I just had an MRI done yesterday on my cervical spine because that is really botherine me lately. I wake up 3-4 times a night to wiggle my fingers because of the pain and numbness. My back (between my shoulders) seems to be getting worse and worse everyday. It burns, and I get these sharp pains that actually make me yelp. I hope I'm not being dellusional, but I keep telling myself that it's just stress, and that I'm putting too much strain on my upper back. I have poor posture because of the lower back pain, and I hope that's all it is. Well, I guess I'll find out soon (tomorrow). To tell you the truth Stewart, I don't know how I will react if they tell me tomorrow that their is actually something wrong with my discs up there. I can't seem to be able to prepare myself for the worse. Then what? I can't seem to get any control over my lower back problems. This is definelty a distraction from that. Oh well, I'm sorry, I dont' mean to whine to you. My God, you poor thing have so many problems of your own. I'm sorry!! You are always in my thoughts Stewart, and I know how hard it is to deal with the pain meds. It is so easy to take them to stop the physical pain, but also the emotional pain. I know, I've been there. Years ago I was going through a very stressful time, and I was suffering from migraines. I had a wonderful (notice the irony) doctor who loved to write out prescription (not to blame him for my own self destruction). Well the pain meds worked great for the migraines, as they did for the emotional pain. Well not really, they just made me numb, and oblivious. But at the time, I thought everything was just great. With the help of my dear husband, I quickly realized what I was doing and got off of them. I swore I wouldnt go there again, but here I am, on a ton of pain meds, wondering if I am going to do the same once the pain stops. It's not easy Stewart, and any little thing you do to help reduce them is a great victory. These things are so dangerous. I admire your awareness, and your effort. Pat yourself on your back every time you say "no, I'm not going to take one now, because my physical pain isnt that bad". That is an enormous accomplishment. You deserve a lot of credit, so congradulations!! Even if you are taking 1 less pill a day, that is a great success. So be proud of yourself, and don't be disappionted if it takes a while before you are completely off of them. Good Luck Stewart, you are always in my prayers my friend, and I wish you great sucess in this vicious battle. Maria (Bos)

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