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Posted by dani on December 10, 2000 at 23:57:42:

In Reply to: Deb, Maria and Susan posted by Shawn Marie on December 10, 2000 at 22:26:02:

Hi shawn marie-

I just wanted to respond to you and let you know that I think guilt is a normal part of being a patient in pain. I don't have a husband and I don't have any children to look after but I think, to some extent, I understand.

I'm a 21 year old female who has had back problems since I age 16. I had surgery when I was 18 and I'm having another one in 3 weeks. For the past 9 months I've taken morphine for the pain..but before then, I had nothing. I was in such horrible pain I couldn't get out of bed. I had to go to the er 4 times last year and I was very depressed. It was very hard on my family and on my boy-friend. Knowing that it was and it hard on them makes me feel bad.

I was talking with my grandmother last week and she started to cry over my back..and then later on I asked my mom if she was excited for christmas and she started to cry too because of me having surgery! So, I understand feeling guilty over the fact that your pain is affecting the lives of those you love. BUT you have to remember that you are the one in pain. Just keep telling yourself that. Sometimes, if family members do not pay enough tribute to your discomfort it's because it scares them. I think it is a great idea that your husband come to your doctors appointments. You definitely need support right now..and I'm sure the doctor will validate your problem.

Anyway, good luck.

every good wish-

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