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Old 12-12-2004, 04:43 PM   #17
Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Brooklyn NY USA
Posts: 46
edgework HB User
Re: Too much masturbation??

It seems that no matter what the content of threads like this, the underlying meta-story is a feeling that there is something 'normal' out there, and that failing to achieve it or conform to it is a problem. Everyone has their own paranoid sense of what this 'normalcy' is that is being deviated from, but it seems to result in an attempt to choreograph sexual activity to a virtual script of some sort.

It's always seemed to me that the starting point should be erotic pleasure and what it takes to achieve that. A healthy partnership is one in which each person is able to experience this for themselves, and also within the context of each others' pleasure.

I think the pros and cons of masturbation have been ably dealt with already in this thread (I personally fall on the side of "If you enjoy it and you're not doing it in public and scaring the horses, what's the problem?"); what seems to be the issue for your girlfriend is that she is being left out. I won't suggest techniques or scenarios that might include her a bit more (everyone has different needs and fantasies and working out the unique requirements of ones own situation is part of the fun), only that to do so might not only ease her concerns, it might expand the scope of what you both find arousing and stimulating in the context of your sex play.

I will make this observation, however: it's been said that sex is not truly a spectator sport... maybe, however, there are times when "watching" can be an integral part of the action.
If they get you asking
the wrong questions,
they don't have to worry
about the answers